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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Think I'm going to have to stop BF :(

21 replies

curlyLJ · 12/10/2010 19:55

DD is just too distractible and I can't take it much more...

Night feeds are fine - nice and cuddly and cosy, and she feeds without a problem.
Daytime feeds are another matter enirely and she just will not concentrate and feed. She's on, off, on, off constantly and now she has teeth she has started to use them too. My boobs are getting sore and I just don't enjoy the daytime feeds any more Sad

I had planned to BF her to a year and beyond, but I think her character is such (she is a real live wire) that she just will not sit and BF properly, especially if we are out and about, but today even in her darkened bedroom it was a nightmare.

I have been giving her a bottle of FF at lunchtimes for a while now as we are often out and it's the only way she will feed. She takes this quite happily and is quite content afterwards. Later in the afternoon if we are still out, she will then feed, fuss, feed, fuss - as she simply just will not sit still for the 10-15 mins it takes to feed properly.

Unless anyone can offer me any miraclulous words of wisdom as to how we can continue, I think it is the end of our BF days Sad Sad

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 12/10/2010 19:57

How old is she?

lurcherlover · 12/10/2010 19:59

Expressing? I'm no expert (pregnant with dc1!) so don't know if it's a realistic option, but if she'll take a bottle could you fit in the time to do it?

nickytwotimes · 12/10/2010 20:02

Is it possible for you to go somewhere really quiet for feeds and maybe give her a little toy to fiddle with? Feeding beads?

I often have to feed ds 2 in the dark with radio static on! Or when he is dozing. Reflux in our case (hi ruby!) but like you night feeds are lovely.

If not, is combined feeding an option at all? I don't know enough really. Have you phoned bf helpline at all?

Igglybuff · 12/10/2010 20:02

You could try feeding just after a nap when she's a bit dozy?

It will get better once the number of feeds goes down. Also, could the fussing have been because of teething and with the introduction of a bottle, she's preferring it to the boob?

thisisyesterday · 12/10/2010 20:03

hmm well it is a very common phase in breastfeeding.
i got through it by just not feeding them if they were too distractible. this meant that some days they only fed maybe 3 times during the day

personally i felt that breastfeeding was so important to me that I was willing to go through the annoyance of it just so that i could continue.
but if you DON'T want to then stop.

don't make a decision too rashly though, that's the only thing I would say. if you aren't totally sure it's the right thing then hang on. take it a day at a time, or a week at a time.
it's very easy to give up, but if you regret it then it isn't that easy to start again!

ConnorTraceptive · 12/10/2010 20:03

DS2 was alot like this from about 4 months it did settle back down again but usually I had to go somewhere quiet fr him to concerntrate

rubyslippers · 12/10/2010 20:05

Hi Nicky Smile

If your LO is distractible then what about a nursing necklace?

At around 5.5 months DD started chomping on my boobs and being very wriggly

It was very annoying but it did stop - each time she chomped I pushed her into my boob and this made her unlatch immediately and Is easier than using a finger to unlatch

BerryScaryJuice · 12/10/2010 20:20

I had this problem with DS until recently (started at around 4 months and he's now 9 months old). I found that it was easiest to feed him just as he was dropping off to sleep for naps and in the morning just as he was waking. If he asked at any other time I would offer the boob but if he wasn't intereted or fussing too much I'd let him be.

He is now weaned onto solids but still feeds about 4-5times per day and at least twice at night but now feeds awake Smile and sometimes in public (although he rarely cues for a feed in public)

Good luck

Original poster
curlyLJ · 12/10/2010 20:35

Thanks for all the replies.

Sorry I should have said she is a few days off 7 months. This has been going on for 3 months now...

expressing isn't really an option as I have never really been able to get enought out - I would be forever pumping!

Mixed feeding is kind of what I am already doing (with the lunchtime feed) so maybe I need to bring in one more FF to get us through the days and continue BF in the mornings, bedtime and through the night.

thisisyesterday did the lack of feeds in given in the day mean that you were up half the night? Not sure I could handle any more night wakings than we have already Wink

Igglybuff the fussing started before I introduced the bottle - in fact it was why I ontroduced it. When I say fussing, I don't think it's teething related or anything like that, it's more about there being far more interesting things for her to look at tbh!

nickytwotimes I already do go somewhere quiet if I can. Usually her room as I keep the curtains closed in there most of the time anyway. I also use her white noise machine, which works great to get her to feed jsut before her morning nap Smile
I haven't tried feeding beads, but I did consider getting some - I wasn't convinced they would help but maybe it's worth a try.

Also didn't think to call a BF helpline...may give that a whirl.

I did expect to be BF for much longer and I don't want to regret stopping. One minute I have had enough (usually just after a particularly hard feed) and other times I really want to see it through Confused

OP posts:
narmada · 12/10/2010 20:56

My DD was just like this, and to be honest going somwhere quiet, nursing beads, etc, nothing at all made a difference. I seem to think it went on for a couple of months, and in the end I just kind of accepted that she would not be having as many daytime feeds. Strangely, it also coincided with her sleeping better at night, not worse...

Are you worried about her not getting enough milk? Is that part of the reason for your frustration? If so, then I would say really, don't worry. Babies are not daft - they will take as much as they need to keep them going unless there is a physical impediment in the way.

narmada · 12/10/2010 20:58

It could also be that she is now a very efficient feeder and is getting more than you realise in a very short space of time.....

lagrandissima · 12/10/2010 21:03

All babies go through stages like this - see www.kellymom.com for information on 'nursing strikes'.

If you can keep going with it it's probably worth continuing if that's what you intended to do - 7 months is really not that old, she has only just started weaning and BM is a good supplement to solids, especially given the immunological benefits at this time of year (the season of snot).

Keep going with the darkened, quiet room; try a nursing necklace; offer breastfeeds before solids if necessary. You may even find that you have more success at expressing now (if you haven't tried since the early days - by this stage your milk is so established that it becomes easier to pump). If all else fails, keep going with morning, evening, and any night feeds as anything is better than nothing.

There used to be very excellent mumsnetters who were more expert on such matters, so hopefully they'll be along soon...

Good luck!

Longtalljosie · 12/10/2010 21:07

On the biting, saying "no" and immediately plonking them down on the floor worked for me

ib · 12/10/2010 21:13

I'm having this with ds2 - he's 6mo and very hyper. It takes nothing to distract him.

What I'm doing is just not feeding him when he's like this. Or I will give him some solids. Once he's hungry enough he does bf quite efficiently.

He then usually wakes up about an hour after bedtime and has a huge feed.

It seems to be working OK.

AppleAndBlackberry · 12/10/2010 21:21

I think by about 7.5 months my DD was having 3-4 feeds in 24 hours (and 3 'meals' of solids which also included dairy) so maybe your dd just isn't that hungry?

TheHouseofMirth · 12/10/2010 21:52

Kellymom has a good section on distractible babies

brettgirl2 · 12/10/2010 22:50

Is she hungry when she takes the next feed?

I'm not an expert on bfing but DD was like this ff so I'm not convinced that switching will solve your problem.

ArmyBarmyMummy · 13/10/2010 07:49

The replies to your message were helpful to me as also considering giving up (Cat is 4mths) due to lack of expressed milk. Have you tried a different pump? Mine - an ameda lactaline- died aged 12yrs so can't complain! Bought a medela swing after reading rave reviews but only managed 40mls when used to get 100mls+ in 20 mins. So clearly the same pump isn't right for everyone.

Original poster
curlyLJ · 13/10/2010 09:21

narmada it's not that I'm worried about her not getting enough milk, it's just that if she doesn't feed well, she is asking for another feed an hour later. I thought by 7m she would be spacing her feeds more, not asking for them more frequently!

longtalljosie she isn't exactly biting, but she is clamping down on my nipple with her teeth and pulling away etc. It feels like a cheesegrater!

We are doing BLW not purees/meals yet, so she isn't getting a huge amount of solids, so she still needs as much milk as ever. It just means she is waking up in the night every 2-3 hours to take it Hmm

ArmyBarmyMummy I have got the Medela swing and i used to be able to pump about 50-60mls quite easily, but now it takes ages and quite honestly I can't be bothered would prefer not to sit there for hours pumping.

OP posts:
ArmyBarmyMummy · 13/10/2010 11:17

I agree about the boredom/time needed for expressing. When my daughter is messing me around now I stop feeding, make 50ml FF, if she wants it I feel guilty but more often than not she doesn't and it's time for nap etc etc Not at all saying this is the right thing to do. I guess the only downside to asking for support/advice is you get too much or conflicting advice (my GP and HV don't even agree!) so just have to go with own instinct.

Longtalljosie · 13/10/2010 17:54

Ah yes, I remember it well! Plonk on the floor for a count of 10, then look her in the eyes and firmly say "no biting mummy" and resume.

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