Newborn won't feed

[FingonTheValiant]

My DS was born yesterday at 1am, so he's just over 24 hours old. When he was born I put him straight to the breast, but he wouldn't suck. I kept at it, and he finally started sucking, but he's barely taking anything into his mouth and he wont gape no matter what I do.

At about 10pm he started screaming and since then he hasn't stopped, and he wont even try to feed. Every time I try to put him to the breast he either just hold the nipple in his mouth then scream and pushes off, or he sucks a couple of times and starts screaming.

At about 3.30 I expressed colostrum and cup fed it to him, but i couldn't get loads, and he still wouldn't stop screaming. Dh has been up with him since so that I could try to sleep, as I've barely slept since the birth, and just brought him to me and DS was rooting, but the same thing happened. He just screams on the breast.

We've been skin to skin all night with him and that's not helping. I've tried lying next to him, but he still won't latch.

The midwife who visited said just persevere - but it's getting a bit difficult when nothing seems to be working, and I'm starting to resent dragging myself around and aggravating my stitches when he's just not interested.

We phoned the midwives for some advice a couple of hours ago and they suggested cup feeding formula. Will this help at all?

Why is he just screaming? :( and frustrated

I know it's pathetic to resent a one day old, but I'm too tired to be rational.

Will giving him a dummy destroy any chance of establishing breast feeding?

Congratulations o the birth of your baby.

What a nightmare for you both, you must be absolutely shattered and so worried.

Have you tried the biological nurturing position? That often works were all else fails for latching.

I'm no expert and your baby is so, so young. I think you need to speak to a breastfeeding councilor (here) and your midwife again in the morning. In the meantime I'd keep hand expressing (more effective than a pump at this stage) and cup feeding as much as you can. Colostrum only comes in tiny quantities, getting 10ml is a great success.

Thanks I'll give that a try, and I'll call a counsellor and the midwife in the morning.

i cant get anything out when I hand express, so I should probably ask for help with that as well.

Thank you!

What about getting in the bath with him?

hope things improve soon

congratulations on the birth of your DS, I second speaking to a BF consellor ASAP, is there a breastfeeding cafe near you or an NCT group?

My DD also was slow to latch on when she was born and spent the first night screaming. I also hand expressed collustrum and the midwife was impressed when I managed to get out 2ml for a feed so I know what you express doesn't look like much but it's a substantial feed.

I actually gave my DD a 30ml formula top up on day 1 and day 2 which took the edge off of her hunger and gave us both a chance to sleep n.b. this is the only formula she has had. From day 3 she fed better and we are still EBF at 13 weeks. Hang in there it will get better.

p.s. it's not pathetic to resent a newborn, you've just been through the trauma of birth and you're knackered. it's no wonder you're desperate for sleep.

Congratulation!

I had to hand express when we were in hospital and found that I couldn't do it on my own, we ended up with me massaging the breast and DH chasing the milk with a syringe. When I did it, I was told to make a C shape with my thumb and index finger and put it round the nipple, then to almost push up and into the breast befoe gently squeezing and pulling down. Also, found I had to massage my breast in small round strokes for about ten minutes before I could get anything.

We also ended up giving DS formula top up because he's blood sugar was low. We did cup feeds for the first 3 days and it was a life saver, it helped to just take the edge off until my milk came in. He'd fall asleep during a cup feed and stay asleep for about an hour or so.

We found that the night were the worst at first, from about 11 til 4 all DS wanted to do was feed, and then slept for most of the day. I joke that my DH was lucky we had to stay in hospital for so long because at least one of us got some sleep.

Hope things are going better for you today...

DD didn't latch on for the first 24hrs following an em cs. She just was not interested it seemed, wouldn't open her mouth, pushed my breast away. I expressed colostrum (in v small amounts) and cup fed it. I then worked at biological nurturing.

Turned out that the malpositioning and long labour had hurt her neck and damaged the muscles slightly so she was in pain and couldn't move her head/open her mouth without it hurting a lot. She had quite limited movement in her neck and had to see an osteopath.

Poor you, I know first hand how hard it is when they won't latch on.

Briefly, DD didn't latch properly for 3.5 days, we were still in hospital following C section so had midwives present for every feed, at least during the day. We cup fed formula until she finally seemed to be getting it, then went home. But weight gain was slow so midwives recommended topping up with bottle of formula... after 1 bottle, DD refused to latch on for another 3 days so every 3 hours we had 30 minutes of trying to fight her onto the breast followed by a bottle feed of EBF, settle DD back down to sleep, then pumping ready for next time.

Anyway, my point is that eventually she did get it and we have never looked back... I EBF'd for 6 months and I'm planning to BF to at least 12 months. At the time it was terrible but looking back I'm soooo glad I perservered.

So keep trying, and my advice would be to avoid bottles and dummies at this age if you are determined to BF.

Good luck

I had to express colostrum into a wee cup and feed it by syringe at first,he took that ok and he got latched on eventually but I think it took a couple of days.

Ds had a tongue tie though which may not have helped.

Wishing you all the best.

Congratulations for the new baby Fingon!
This sounds very familiar! My DD didn't latch on properly for at least a week - she didn't eat anything for about 36 hours, then managed a bit of cup fed expressed colostrum. She became quite unresponsive so was topped up with formula and then I started to express using an electric pump in hospital and a manual pump at home. I kept offering her the breast first and trying to get her latched on and then feeding her the expressed milk. We carried on like this for at least a week until she got used to it and we are now happily EBF. Try to keep persevering and make use of the help and support out there if your midwife is not particularly helpful - in our area there are maternity support workers who will come to see you to help with breast feeding, they have a bit more time to spend with you than the midwives.

COngrats Fingon.

I'd keep doing what you are doing, loads of skin to skin and if you can just take to your bed for the day with just a shirt/pj top open and only a nappy on. Keep offering the breast.

I'd make sure he's having something (either expressed collostrum or formula) at least every three hours or more often if he's looking for it. You need to watch his hydration levels if he's not able to latch himself on. He will need to feed one way or another to help bring down the jaundice too.

A dummy at this stage is not going to confuse him IMO, it might get his going on his sucking perhaps.

There is plenty of time to 'get' breastfeeding, please try not to think it's all going badly at such an early stage. Mine both had dummies, formula and even 'baby tea' (in Germany!) in the first 72 hours but I did manage to achieve full-time BF within the first week.

Hope things are improving as you must be shattered. xx

I remember being told the colostrum feeds in the first few days are only about 5mls each when BF'ing, that's just a teaspoon. So even if you are managing to express what looks like a tiny amount it may well be enough for him.

My ds didn't latch properly till about day 7 either. Our bf counsellor helped hand express colostrum as you're doing and syringe fed it. When the milk came she showed me how to pump and although we were doing lots of skin to skin and breast offering we fed him ebm every 3 hours with a syringe, and kept a list of his intake to reassure visiting midwives etc. His jaundice then cleared up quite well and he eventually learnt to latch. It might be worth getting him looked at by a cranial osteopath (one experienced with babies) when things calm down as someone else said. Turned out my ds had massive tension in his jaw from instrumental delivery and that was part of the problem. Am still bfing 15 mths later, so worth the struggle! Keep trying, hope you can find a bf counsellor/advisor or supportive mw.

Actually I think we topped up with ebm fortwo or three weeks in the end but less often after the first week, just to keep weight gain up and because he would only feed on one side for a while.

I found the first few days really tough. I know what you mean about dragging yourself around with stitches etc. You are in shock after labour but I think its worth thinking about it from your ds's point of view too. He's been through a lot too and that is probably why he is screaming (thats what I tried to tell myself). He needs to learn how to feed as well as get used to the world.

I found it gradually got easier to get him on as his mouth got bigger and he could gape more. Also remember your boobs need the stimulation from him trying to suck for your supply to build up.

Was the hardest part for me but three months on I'm so glad we stuck at it.

Good luck. Get expert help and accept any offers of help with everday stuff so you can concentrate on you and your ds.

Could he be tongue tied? Has anyone specifically checked for that?

Agree with the tongue tie - get it checked out. If he's getting really hungry and not taking anything or what he needs I would try giving him a bottle of formula to take the edge off then try BF again and syringe feed more colostrum.

I watched a DVD by Clare Byam Cook where a woman had the same problem. The baby was 2 days old and hadn't fed so she gave him a bottle of formula then tried to latch him on with a nipple shield when her milk had come in. The baby then went on to do it on his own without the nipple shield. My midwife would have been shocked at this but it really seemed to work. This is the DVD if you want to see more www.amazon.co.uk/Breast-Feeding-Without-Tears-Byam-Cook/dp/B0001Z64KO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1286804016&sr=1-1 but probably you'll need an answer sooner if your baby is hungry! I did.

It's so hard at the beginning and I had similar problems with the midwife and BF councillors saying stick with it but when your baby is hungry and your sanity is on the edge it's hard! You're doing the right thing and you'll get lots of different advice on here so best thing is to try different things and things which work for you.

Good luck x

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted. It's so reassuring to hear that other people have similar experiences and still established ebf.

I had a slightly better day. My mum came round to help. We think he has bad wind. I couldn't see a midwife today, so we saw a gp who suggested infacol, and we've been winding him lots so I'm hoping that will help. I've managed to get him latched a couple of times, and I've cup fed him a few times, although really tiny amounts. But overall he seems happier. Hopefully the night will be ok.

Gp said to avoid a dummy for now because it might make the wind worse if he takes in air with it. I'll see how it goes.

So relieved I got through the day without a bottle or dummy - I was ready to try anything when I first posted this morning.

How many dirty/wet nappies should he have by the way? He had one dirty today, and I think a few wet, but I'm not sure if it's enough.

The midwife is coming tomorrow, so I'll ask her about tongue tie, and hopefully I can get her to check how I'm doing it and see if she can help with positioning/latch.

Thank you all so much again!

It sounds like you're doing an excellent job

I'm shocked and horrified that the midwife didn't come out to you . Thank goodness for your mum and the GP.

As far as nappies goes, TBH I really can't remember what it 'should' be. I'm sure someone who does will be along shortly.

Did you manage to speak to a BF counceller?

Just wanted to post and say stick with it love!! It sounds exactly like my experience with DS and eventually it was all fine (and he was BF until 1yr.

When you next see your midwife, make her sit with you and help you (sit on her lap if you have too). Don't be fobbed off. Don't be told all is fine. Make her sit there until he's feeding.

To be honest, my breakthrough was a BFing cafe, where I met a LOVELY fourth time Mum who told me that he was probably just finding it as difficult as I was to get the hang of. I'd been labouring under the misapprehension that it's all natural and wonderful and the baby knows exactly what to do as soon as it's born etc etc. Sometimes it just isn't like that.

After sleepless nights, lots of screaming, and general horrendousness, BFing became the easiest thing in the world. You'll figure this out together, I promise.

Well done for getting this far, and for having your fab DS! You're already doing marvellously and he's only 2 days old.

PS No idea about nappies, but honestly, I wouldn't worry too much.

Thank you :)

I didn't speak to a BF councillor today, but I'm going to call one tomorrow.

That's a good idea about a BF cafe, I'll ask the midwife for some local ones.

I will definitely make the midwife stay to watch and help. I feel like a was fobbed off by the one yesterday, so I'm going to make sure I get help tomorrow. I think I was expecting DS to do it magically. :(

Thanks for all the advice

You have lots of answers but this sounds so familiar i had to reply too!

My baby (now 11 weeks) couldn't get the hang of it either and we ended up going back to hospital for four days as he was dehydrated. I'm still cross with the midwife who came to the house the day before we were readmitted and said he was latched on fine...clearly not.

My saviour was a Lactation Consultant found through www.lcgb.org who showed me a completely different hold that helped him latch on and he really improved his technique within a week. As she advised i also expressed after every feed (so time consuming but worth it for a week or two to get good supply going) and gave him two 80ml feeds every day from a bottle to make sure he had enough - this gradually phased out as he fed better.

I also took fenugreek to improve supply.

It was a really hard couple of weeks with many tears when he couldn't feed, but we got there and I'm sure you will too. I was really afraid of giving bottle but he managed to switch between breast and bottle.

I hated being told to lie in bed with him and do skin to skin - it hurt my stitches and found s-to-s not compatible with visitors, eating, feeling clean and comfortable. In the end I got a wrap sling and had him s-to-s in that, but it covers you, so you can still appear in public (well, at least your own home) and sit however is comfortable. For some reason he always burps a lot when i put him in it, so maybe that could help with wind too?

Sorry to ramble, i just sympathise so much and it's all very fresh in my mind! Good luck.

Thank you EllaRees, that's all really helpful.
I haven't got anything other than colostrum yet, but I think I'm going to keep pumping once my milk comes in to try to up my supply, and in case he still isn't latching.

The midwife I saw yesterday told me to give him water to stop dehydration, but that contradicts other advice I've read. It's so frustrating that no one can agree!

I've got a wrap sling, so tomorrow I'll get it out and try to get him in it. Hopefully keeping him upright-ish will help with the wind.

Thanks again

Fingon brilliant that you have got him latched on today that is excellent news. Always offer the breast first even if you cup feed/syringe at the end as well.

He is learning just as you are.

Make sure the MW sits and watches you latch. If you have no confidence in them try and get hold of a lactation consultant for help.

I have heard of people giving water in the early days but to be honest if you are concerned he's not getting enough calories I'd be offering formula. I'd be worried about low blood sugar if only offering water (that is if the latching is not going well - if he is latching on for every feed he will be getting enough from you)

Just a heads-up (not trying to scare you) the next few days will be very challenging. As your milk starts to come in you will experience a massive drop in hormones and will quite possibly feel teary and emotional coupled with the fact that the baby will increase their feeding considerably. It's very demanding. I thought I was losing mind, honestly thought this must be PND as I cried non stop for about two or three days and DD hardly slept in that period and just fed and fed and fed and unsettled throughout. It's all completely normal but I wish the midwife had explained it again to remind me.

Once their poos have changed from green to yellow they will become more settled as your proper milk is in and feeding becomes established.

Keep going, you'll get there.

Mine took nearly 36 hours to feed, fed OK for 24 hours, then didn't feed well the next day.

7 months on and no formula

When my milk came in I hand to use warm flannel and hand express (with DH walking around with a crying babies for 10mins) in order to get her latch. In the first few weeks some feeds took about 20mins to get her on.

I didn't do any pumping (except the syringes in the first day) and also had to accept that she was a quick feeder. 20mins before 6 weeks, 5-10 after.

Hope it works out for you