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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

childminder thinks i should give up breastfeeding..

20 replies

snowfallinthesahara · 09/10/2010 13:29

my dd is 8.5 mo;she is bf and on solids 3rice a day.i get back to full-time uni in jan-when she will be a year old-and so have found and started her off with a cm two mornings a week,two hrs to start off with.i thought this would help her take to the bottle with the cm early on without any stress and give me time to start my reading(of which there is a Lot!)
now dd is temperamental with the bottle,sometimes she'll take it v easily sometimes not at all..have dropped her 5pm milk feed and she mostly takes the bottle,altho not a lot,maybe half to one oz.
the cm has had no success-shes had 2 sessions so far 1.5 hrs each....she says bcoz dd expects to be bf for her 9am feed,this will hinder her taking the bottle.esp since she usually gets sleepy around this time and i bf her in bed.

so its best if i stop the bf-ing and keep it to the early morn and night feeds.

now i am ok with this.i would much prefer to bf but wdnt mind if dd took the bottle at this time,its just that she point blank refuses and SCREAMMMS....thing is,dh works nights and if we hv a screaming baby in the morn-thats His main sleeptime.
so arrgh!
i hv given her a bottle at 11am,she took its then,again just half an oz.
how do i do this?do i carry on bf-ing her when she is with me or is it going to confuse the her?i wouldve thought she'd clock on to the fact that hang on,this isnt my mummy so i hv to take the bottle with the cm,right?
any help would be muuuch appreciated!

OP posts:

withorwithoutyou · 09/10/2010 13:34

Can you rejig her feeding routine so that she doesn't need any milk when she's with the childminder?

MoonUnitAlpha · 09/10/2010 13:37

Can the cm try a beaker or cup instead? I wouldn't stop breastfeeding, it doesn't really matter that much if she won't take a bottle from the cm - she can give her water in a beaker instead.

SKYTVADDICT · 09/10/2010 13:41

Can't believe your childminder suggested stoping b/f even if just for that feed!

8.5 months is very young. Personally as a childminder I would perservere with your wishes. A lo I look after has just turned one. He has always been a nightmare for me to bottle feed and even now may or may not take it.

Your childminder doesn't sound very pro b/f if you don't mind me saying!

Bucharest · 09/10/2010 13:47

I would have no hesitation in changing childminder. Not only because she sounds very ignorant, but also because if she is already trying to get you to change your mind on what is a very fundamental parenting choice after 2 sessions (and the fact that she herself is not patient enough to keep trying with your baby on the basis of 2 sessions would also be ringing alarm bells with me)then she wouldn't be the person for me.

EauRouge · 09/10/2010 13:58

What Bucharest said.

Original poster

snowfallinthesahara · 09/10/2010 14:16

thank u thank u for ur replies...am getting quite quite worried..
skytv, she isnt pro-bf thats quite true...she says weaning is always v hard on the mum,so she never started..as a cm,do u thinks it confuses them?wouldve thought they wd be able to tell the diff b/w mum and cm after a while??

u know i think its harder coz she associates SLEEP with That particular feed...

one of the reasons i started off early is so tht we cd test waters n change with plenty of time..she seems v nice in all other aspects tho...

OP posts:

GiraffesMum · 09/10/2010 14:31

For me, my DD would never take a bottle when I left her for short sessions at nursery and I was convinced that when I left her all day she would starve! Not so! When she got really hungry she took a bottle, I think in the short sessions she would rather wait for me, but at the same time would not let herself starve! I worked 3 days a week and she had ff in bottles at nursery and bf from me at home. I couldn't be bothered to faff around with bottles, etc. I think she just thought mum feeds me like this, everyone else via a bottle. She started dropping feeds at nursery sooner than bf at home, although when she rejected the bottle she would take a bit from a cup when nursery offered that.

Two bits of advice from here which helped me were- babies are very adaptable and don't spoil the rest of your time at home worrying about how you're going to bf and be away. It just has a way of working itself out - your baby will not starve.

I would use the time now to make sure you're 100% happy with your childcare arrangements. A happy mum =happy baby and vice versa! Your cm may not have encountered bf babies b4 and it is human nature to revert back to what you know, even if not professional! I can still remember the look on my DDs keyworkers face when I said my DD aged 7mo drank from an open cup and I wanted her to have one at nursery. (mad Mum alert!) After her first session she told me very proudly that she'd drunk lots of water with lunch and not split a drop. Sometimes you have to "re-educate" people and stick to your guns. At the end of the day it's your child!

Hope this ramble helps!

Good luck with your course!

ThatDamnDog · 09/10/2010 14:41

Agree with Bucharest. Also, she'll be a year old when you leave her full time - a beaker of cow's milk would be fine, and she can breastfeed when with you. Save yourself the hassle of bottles! She won't expect a breastfeed from the childminder so there's no reason for you to stop. I really wouldn't let the milk thing worry you at all - good childcare more important just now, the rest will fall into place.

cece · 09/10/2010 15:33

My DC3 is BF at 16 months. He won't drink milk out of a cup or bottle. He attends a CM whilst I am work. He just doesn't have any milk while he is there. Not been a problem so far. If he is thirsty he has water. If he is hungry he has something to eat.

Neon · 09/10/2010 15:41

DS goes all day without in nursery and makes up for it when I get in! He's just turned 1.

EmpressOfTheUniverseReality · 09/10/2010 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamadoc · 09/10/2010 15:49

Definitely don't bother with the bottles.
DD started with a CM at 9mo when I went back to work and she had ebm in a cup and I bf her morning and evening. CM helped her to hold the cup. Don't worry if she takes less from the cup she will just have a bigger feed later.
On days I didn't work I just bf her as usual. I had no supply issues and didn't have to express at work. So I think you should just carry on as you are and DD and CM will work out their own thing.
I bf DD to sleep for naps as it was the only thing that worked for me but CM rocked her in a buggy and eventually got her going to sleep in a cot which never worked for me!
A good CM should definitely be supporting your choices.

cherrytop · 09/10/2010 16:10

Hi my baby never ever took a bottle - however I can leave the baby 8am to 6pm (coming close to a year old) for four days a week. The nursery just ensure lots of fluids and solids.

My baby has been in nursery 3 ft days a week since 10 months...

just under 2 days a week since 6 months.

I think at one your baby will be fine.

As another poster said they are adaptable.

Like Mamadoc - a good CM should be supporting your choices.

I never expressed any milk.

I would consider changing your CM.

My baby fed around the times I was available.

I suppose at one your carer could supplement with a bottle of cows milk, however I am sure you can keep bfings when your baby is one if you so desire.

Mamadoc- nursery workers can settle rocking my baby in a cot - but it never works for me.

cherrytop · 09/10/2010 16:10

And to the OP I was really really worried about how it would work out - but it has.

I think mainly because my baby has also bonded with his carers so well and they are sooooooo lovely.

nottooromanticfool · 09/10/2010 16:22

I'm a childminder and imo the baby won't take the bottle as she isn't settled with the childminder yet, nothing to do with BF.

cherrytop · 09/10/2010 16:29

nottooromanticfool - some babies never ever take a bottle. My baby is very settled but never took a bottle.

esti1 · 09/10/2010 16:39

would be totaly opffended if child minder suggested this I worked fulltime and breast fed. DD did not drink out of bottle or cup so she simply went without when i was not there...she obviously was happy with this, she drank water from a cup and i made up cubes of carrots etc pears with milk so she could have this at nursery to sooth hunger and have plenty of fluids and she was fine. your cm canot dictate your childs routine TBH

Horton · 09/10/2010 16:55

I had to leave my 5.5 month baby to go back to work part time when she was exclusively breastfed. She had lots of 'wet' food such as fruit and soups/stews, water and EBM from a beaker (though I also tried formula from a beaker but she simply didn't like it) and was fine. She was always keen to have a feed when I got back to her five hours later but she was perfectly all right. She never took a bottle and I BF until 14 months. To start with she was being fed purees with a spoon so it was easy to make them very wet but she rejected the spoon at about 6.5 months and never let anyone feed her with one again. Honestly, it was perfectly fine. I think she could easily have gone for longer than the five hours without a BF.

Think your CM is being lazy, frankly.

theidsalright · 09/10/2010 20:05

um, are you SURE this is the child minder for you and your baby? If she is pushing her agenda over your baby's needs/your parenting style at this stage, just think what you might get into a "situation" about later on!

You have put SO much work in to BF your little one, why on earth would you stop to make life more convenient for HER? Surely if she had your daughters best interests at heart she should have been having discussions with you about

how to get her to accept the bottle
alternatives to the bottle
thinking about her success at settling in/how to make her feel more secure.

Original poster

snowfallinthesahara · 10/10/2010 11:00

thank u,so much..this is a real eye-opener for me..i am so thankful.
i tried dd with ff in a cup-success in the evening; mornings she only seems to be interested in bf!

she said ive two choices-either do the weaning noww which would be easier or do it separately at my own pace-which,acc to her,take longer for dd to settle.

i think this is the typical way a very pro-ff person thinks,as my neighbour was saying the same thing!

horton & girrafesmum,ure so right--she doesnt seem to hv encountered bf babies b4 and doesnt seem to want to put in all the work!

theidsalright-'You have put SO much work in to BF your little one, why on earth would you stop to make life more convenient for HER?'...thank u so much for understanding,no-one else in RL seems to Get that!

hmm think will see how this goes for two more weeks and decide re cm--she says settling the baby in her arms is what she does for the first couple of days for bonding,the other child seems v happy with her certainly..i know dd associates bf with sleep at that time,but wish cm wd find a way around it!thats what i was hoping for.

OP posts:

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