Any help with night waking/feeding 9mo please? (long!)!

[sleepwhenidie]

I don't know if anyone has any advice for me please - I feel like I should, now I am on 3rd DC, know what to do but perhaps because I am so sleep deprived, I am struggling to figure out a strategy...

Some background - DS2 was born at the end of December, healthy against all the odds as he was diagnosed as having early onset IUGR at 20 wks. I was induced at 37 wks and he weighed 4lbs. He has continued to grow (EBF) just below the 0.4th centile and is healthy and developmentally on track. He now, at 9m weighs just over 6kg, the average weight of a 3m old. I have tried to start gently weaning him onto formula and he will take small amounts but only really to quench his thirst(even when left with someone else for 4-6 hours) and he likes exploring and tasting finger foods but doesn't actually consume much - he won't have anything from a spoon except plain greek yoghurt.

We have co-slept since he was born and I have found this the best way for me to get the maximum amount of sleep until recently (which I need, having to also deal with DS(5) and DD(2)). Now he has developed a habit of pinching any of my flesh he can reach and it is really painful and not conducive to drifting back off while he feeds! He also has been waking every 40 mins through the night and feeding so I am on my knees (and covered in bruises from being pinched) by the morning. I am aware that I am a dummy and he is not actually feeding that much, although i am pretty sure that he is getting more from night feeds than daytime ones...

In theory I feel like he is old enough now for some kind of sleep training, but he is still so little and I know I am more protective of him given the stressful pregnancy and his size. I don't feel I could leave him to cry and I actually wouldn't mind still doing a couple of night feeds - I think he still needs them with his little tummy - but every 4 hours perhaps, not every 40mins! I also don't know how concerned I should be about his intake of solids or what I could do to improve it.

Any wise words please [v tired emoticon]?

Hmmm. This is complicated stuff.

How much does he sleep during the day?

How much does he feed during the day? Have you tried anything like breast compression or similar to get him eating a bit more in the daytime? What else have you tried to up his breastmilk intake during the day?

Actually, you might get more help (and a better listening ear) from the National Breastfeeding helpline. 0300 100 0212. I think there are more women on there in the evenings and weekends, but it's open from 9:30 am to 9:30 pm.

There is a sleep regression around this age.

The regular night wakings sound like he's overtired and is waking after every sleep cycle and needs you to get back to sleep.

You're probably right he's getting more from the night feeds. I know my DS certainly did (even now at nearly 1, he has a night feed - two if not eaten properly in the day).

Can you move him into a cot at the start of the night? Get your DH to resettle him for two hours then you feed again to stretch him out (so feed at 6.30pm, in bed by 7, resettle til next feed at 9pm). Then bring him into bed with you for the rest of the night. Keep doing every night and stretch out the time so he spends longer in the cot at the start of the night and gets used to it.

My DD is 9 months old and weighs 6.38kgs so is tiny just like your DS :)

I started a thread a few weeks ago because she wouldn't sleep too. She's doing the pinching thing as well!! We're still ExBF.

We've had 2 nights now where she's gone through the night. She's still not a perfect sleeper but she's definitely getting better. I found the only thing that helped was to stop co-sleeping. I put her chair in her room and got up to feed her there rather than bringing her into our bed.

I had been bringing her in with us and then we'd both fall asleep and she'd relatch herself to feed during the night. Because the chair wasn't so snuggly and comfy, I stayed awake and was able to put her back in her cot after a feed and I think it wasn't so alluring to her either so slowly the night feeds stopped. Recently, I've stopped the night feeds all together so if she wakes in the night now, I leave her in her cot and shush/pat her until she is calm again.

I know you're worried because he was poorly but it sounds like he's doing well now. DD was full term and healthy when she was born and is still only 6kgs. Some babies are just little.

Here's my thread if it helps...

I'm no good for advice but I'm right there with you on this one. My 9 month old dd is behaving in a very similar way. I didn't have the IUGR issue (my dd was over 7lb born and on 25th centile) but the rest of your post I feel like I could have written myself. She has very little interest in solid food and is waking very frequently in the night. The pinching thing is horrible, if I remove her hands from my skin/try to hold her hand away while she feeds she gets very cross! I am constantly clipping her nails but somehow she still manages to leave scratch marks all over me.

She is my third also, but this problem is a new one on me because my older 2 took to solids really well and did not have the pinching habit.

I have tried both formula and EBM in various different bottles to allow someone else to do a feed from time to time while I'm out but she is not impressed and refuses the milk from a bottle.

I am hoping it is just a phase or teething and will settle on its own soon but am watching this thread also to see if can pick up any tips.

Thanks for all your responses, it is good to know I am not alone at least!

In answer to the questions...

-if I am with him all day, which I usually am, he has about 3 decent feeds and maybe 2 "snacks" when I think he is just thirsty. i have tried offering feeds more often but he is distracted/uninterested. He is very interested in solid food that is other people's (spaghetti, bread, broccoli) and grabs and eats it but not very much is actually consumed, not what I would call a meal. He really, really, doesn't want me feeding him baby food.

• he naps about 3 times during the day for about 40 mins at a time (9am, 12.30ish,3.30ish), same as my other DC's did until they started walking and then taking one long nap at lunchtime. Occasionally he will have a longer nap but this is rare and would usually follow a disturbed night.

When he goes to bed at 7-7.30 he sleeps for 40mins (in cot), wakes for a little cuddle and top up feed then usually sleeps through to about 11pm when I feed him and put him back in his cot again. He will then wake at about 1.30 and after that ends up in bed with me as I can't ever stay awake long enough for him to feed and get put back in cot...as I write this I think this is what I am going to have to conquer isn't it - maybe do your thing with the chair Blatherskite - prospect not pleasant though!

Can you squeeze in one more decent feed? So have morning, lunch, evening plus a feed a few hours after bedtime? With snacks too? Or work the feeds around his naps so he's more likely to focus if just woken up?

Can you give him a meal from your plate? My DS all of a sudden realised that solids filled him up after grabbing from us. Now he happily has chopped up meals (he's 1) and it's made a world of difference to his sleep and night feeds.

More info on 9 month sleep regression here, here and here.

Have you tried putting him to bed half an hour earlier to see if that helps? Sounds daft but it can work.

Distractible feeding at this age is very common - Kellymom has some info.

Thanks AngelDog, great websites.

I was considering some kind of sleep training but apart from knowing I don't have the heart or energy for it, I get the developmental thing. He is definitely going through the whole separation anxiety thing at the moment AND pretty much started crawling today (and saying bye bye and waving, almost made his Dad cry as he was leaving the country for a week this morning!)and I think he is also teething. Quite a lot for a little body and head to cope with, no wonder he's waking up a lot!

Glad they were useful.

We're in the 9 month regression ourselves - gone from 2 wakings to 6 per night, and DS is awake for at least 1.5 hours too. But he's just getting going on crawling and various other things.

Love the waving! :)