Fed up of breastfeeding

[HelenLG]

I've been having some trouble with breast feeding lately and am now reaching the end of my tether...

I thought I'd gotten passed all the crappy rubbish at the start of breastfeeding to a place where we were both comfortable but now it feels like everything has gone south.

My nipple has gotten blocked 3 times in the last month, I've adjusted my latch after seeing a BFC which seems to have given me a cracked nipple and now the burning sensation in both nipples makes me think I've got thrush. I don't understand how I could seeing as we're over half way through a treatment for thrush and didn't have these symtoms at the beginning.

I also seem to have a blocked ducted on the other nipple now which is sore. Both breasts have been throbbing for most of today.

DS has started fussing at the breast every hour and a half and if I do manage to get him to have a big feed he just throws half of it back up. He's not unhappy and the vomitting doesn't seem to bother him but it's so demoralising going through the pain and discomfort trying to get the milk into him to then see it all come back up.

I keep thinking that it would be easier just to FF and I've never been against the odd bottle here and there but I think it's fear and guilt which is stopping me.

I just feel a bit lost and keep crying. I don't want to give up breastfeeding and will probably carry on just because I don't want the hassle of FFing and worry about my breasts getting worse if I stop breast feeding.

Not really looking for an answer, just having a bit of a sad ramble..

How old is your DS?

He's 12 weeks now

Helen i have no advice to offer but lots of sympathy. It must be upsetting to be so uncomfortable and for your ds to be throwing up but try not to let the vom bit get to you too much, i think it normally looks like a lot more than it really is iyswim.

You are having a rough time and well within your rights to feel sad but if it continues please get checked for pnd.

Has he always thrown up? Could he have reflux?

I know exactly how you feel about giving up. If I'm honest the only reason we're not bottle feeding is a) the hassle and wastage, and b) how the hell would I comfort DD without being able to offer the boob?

I have never found BF easy, not last time or this time. Even at 15 weeks it's still pretty painful much of the time. You have my big sympathies, and if you do switch you have already given your DS a brilliant start.

Are you able to express easily? Would the odd relief bottle be any help to you?

He went through a phase of being a bit sick after feeds and crying a lot after but I found that turning him on his side during a feed and keeping him there for a little bit after helped. This isn't sick like before, this is like a whole pool that you can catch in ur hand (TMI I know).

I know what you mean about the comfort, DS often calms right down if he's offered the boob, but lately it seems like sometimes it upsets him more than helps.

I can express easily, if I do it first thing in the morning I can often get 6oz. My DH suggested maybe trying to feed by EBM until my nipples heal but I'm at home by myself during the day and can't express and look after DS (he's very demanding, likes to crawl on ppl). Plus I worry about affecting my supply if I express feeds instead, what if he's drinking more when he's at the breast than I'm expressing etc.

My sympathies over the expressing. I can express as a rule, but with DD and a 4 year old there is no chance time wise.

I think it would be very hard work to express enough for all feeds, perhaps even one feed of EBM a day would give your nipples a break? That wouldn't affect your supply, especially not at this stage. You could perhaps just feed on your good side for a few days and express from the cracked one?

Or if you're not averse to formula, you could give one or two bottles of formula in the day for a few days or for longer. Again I doubt that would affect your supply for the rest of feeds given your DD's age. As I've said on this board ad nauseum, I gave DD bottles overnight for weeks on end and returned to exclusive breastfeeding with no problem at all.

Finally, you could possibly give nipple shields a go, although I don't know if your DS would take to them at this age. Might be worth a shot for a few days though.

My sympathies over the expressing. I can express as a rule, but with DD and a 4 year old there is no chance time wise.

I think it would be very hard work to express enough for all feeds, perhaps even one feed of EBM a day would give your nipples a break? That wouldn't affect your supply, especially not at this stage. You could perhaps just feed on your good side for a few days and express from the cracked one? Some people manage to do this concurrently with an eletric pump.

Or if you're not averse to formula, you could give one or two bottles of formula in the day for a few days or for longer. Again I doubt that would affect your supply for the rest of feeds given your DD's age. As I've said on this board ad nauseum, I gave DD bottles overnight for weeks on end and returned to exclusive breastfeeding with no problem at all.

Finally, you could possibly give nipple shields a go, although I don't know if your DS would take to them at this age. Might be worth a shot for a few days though.

Sorry, I accidentally posted while still editing!

My DD is also 12 weeks and is doing exactly the same (perhaps with a little less sick though!). She seems to be putting on weight well but is just starting to fuss at the boob and sort-of yank my nipple around - half the time it seems like she is on the boob for the sake of playing with it rather than because she is hungry. I'm sticking at it grimly as long as she wants but it does make public BF a little awkward as I'm sure people are looking at me wondering what the hell I am putting in her mouth to make her so wriggly/angry/ fussy! Sorry, not especially helpful but lots and lots of empathy...really hope things get better one way or another.

DD also 12 weeks and fussing at every feed. Last night she fed for 1.5 hours during which she was sick 3 times without even coming off the nipple!

I think in her case this kind of fussing is caused by bad wind. Sometimes I take her off as soon as she starts wriggling and pulling and wind her for 20 mins or so before putting her back on. She doesn't like this and although I usually get the wind up she will acream while I am doing it.

Maybe it will get better then, I just keep thinking, give it another week, it might just be a growth spurt...

DS fusses when being winded too, he shouts and tries to stand up, throws himself around.

It will get better! I think a few months in, when you are properly knackered, and well past that magic 6 week mark when everyone says you'll be all sorted are mentally quite tough.

We had all sorts of problems (lots of vomiting too, it's heartbreaking to see all that milk going to waste) until DS was about 5mo. Fortunately, it was a breeze after that and I ended up feeding him to 22mo.

I'm expecting DS2 any day now and a bit nervous about the mammoth bf task ahead of me! I did feel it was well worth it in the end though, just hard at the start.

I found the bf helplines really helpful when I was at a low ebb. I wasn't on MN at the time and they were always very kind and supportive. Also had brilliant tips for coping with thrush etc. might be worth a call. LLL is 0845 120 2918.

Don't torture yourself over formula. Breastfeeding will get easier if you keep going, and I know that feeling of not wanting to give up but...it's just milk. You've given your baby a great start and anyway, it's not even like the little blighters will be grateful

Hi, you poor thing sounds like you're going through the mill. Your post struck a chord with me, I had a similar "I can't take it anymore" with BF at week 12. DD was very refluxy and would puke up loads. Discussed with the HV and Doc and it didn't seem to be painful for her and her weight was fine, so we didn't give her Gaviscon in the end. But I was covered in puke most of the time and it wasn't unusual for both of us to get through 4 changes of clothes per day.
Sounds like you have two issues here 1) Your poor boobs. No doubt your cracked nipples/possible thrush are in need of rest, but are you giving one side a break and it's leading to engorgement? what you could maybe do is give one side a break for about 8 hours, lots of lansioh and some sudocrem and give the thrush treatment a chance to work, making sure you get lots of rest and a hot bath, with a little expressing on that side to avoid getting engorged. You could then feed the baby with the other side or get someone else to top up with formula and switch sides? I know that expressing is a total pain, but if you had some help this weekend, it might be enough to break the cycle. Sounds like you could do with a bit of a break anyway.
2) He might have a bit of reflux or wind pain, again, HV is a good place to start and might help with the distress of having to feed 1 hour after they just fed cause they puked the last lot up.(so annoying).

you've done really well doing 12 weeks of BF, no one will judge you except yourself. If they do ,they are probably not worth worrying about. It was definately the worst point for me but she always seems to take me to the brink with things ans just when you think it can't get any worse it gets better.