agonizing breastfeeding - want to keep going but dont think i can

[sweetpea5]

Could anyone offer any help - breastfeeding is so painful - baby is 3 weeks, my nipples are cut and so painful. I have had bf counsellor and lactation counsultant to help - nboth said latch looks ok - but its clearly not as i ouldnt be in this pain. nipples are misshapen after feeding. Really want to keep bfing but cant see how - bringing baby yo breast is so sore - me screaming and crying evry time (not usually a drama queen, honestly!). expressing at the minute since this morning as just cant face bfing. Can anyone help? it shouldnt be like this.. sorry about typing - holding pump in one hand at same time.

I had similar problems - the things that really saved me from giving up (I remember literally crying and wincing - and I'm no wuss) were:

1. Nipple shields. This is what clinched it I think, I know some people don't like them, but they really gave my nipples a chance to actually heal or sort of toughen up slowly underneath. I used them for ages and then suddenly one day just forgot and I was fine. Baby was fine with them too - easy to get milk and latch etc.

1. Avent nipple cream - like Lansinoh but runnier and therefore easier to apply to sore nipples. I couldn't get on with Lansinoh even when warmed because it was just too gacky and waxy.

1. Feeding lying down. Once I learnt to do this, feeds were much easier. At home, I would always feed lying down every time.

I was at the point of giving up, but persevered using the above "props" and I fed until 13 months in the end.

Good luck to you - it is hard, but it gets better very quickly.

I understand what you're going through as my first 6 weeks of BF DS was horrendous. I'm sorry but I've only skimmed the replies as I need to go to bed, and I saw that tingue tie had been mentioned, but didn't see if you'd been checked for that or not?
A BF councellor referred DS for TT at three weeks, even though it wasn't obvious (DS wouldn't let her anywhere near his mouth!). There must have been an issue as it was snipped at 5 weeks, then it took about two-three more weeks for feeding to become comfortable.
TT can so easily be missed, and can make a latch look good even though it's very wrong.

To get us through the hard times, I pumped loads, until the TT was done DH gave EBM for all night feeds and I pumped at the same time to keep up supply. When it got too much I'd have a few days off so DH gave EBM for every feed whilst I pumped. My supply was fine. I used lashings and lashings of Lansinoh, didn't do a single feed without it for a very long time.
I also gave myself little targets - "right I'll feed to 5 weeks then stop...I'll feed to two months then stop....."

If you'd told me 10 months ago I'd still be feeding now I'd have laughed in your face, but DS is now one and I actually enjoy feeding, so you will get there.

Good luck

But, to mount my usual hobby horse, you don't actually have to switch. I found one or two bottles a day was enough to save my sanity and you might be able to reverse that when things improve. That said, if you can manage to EBF and get relief by feeding expressed milk then that's the best way, and good on you.

Oh, and order a book on breastfeeding from Amazon using their super saver delivery. It might take ages to come and you won't want to have wasted your money by giving up before it arrives...

Well it worked for me.

sweetpea - just some advice about expressing (from one who did it for 7.5 months!). If you have a single pump then try 5-15 mins on each breast per session and aim to do about 2hrs pumping per day in total on EACH breast (I had a double pump for obvious reasons!). So if you express 8 times in a day then 15mins each breast each session. Would recommend doing around 10 pumps a day (if you can!) for 10-12mins each breast. Often is the key and give yourself rests between pumps - at least an hour. Make sure you get at least one let-down on each breast. HTH and good luck.

Well done for coping this long :) I remember all too well crying while feeding my DS - it was awful, but it did get better. I kept bothering different people until someone finally could help. In my case, DS had a tongue tie.

Just to add to the others that have recommended checking for tongue-tie - misshapen nipples are a very common symptom. There is usually a tell-tale compression ridge after feeding if the baby has a tongue-tie. You really should get it checked.

Even if your DC hasn't got a tongue-tie, if the latch is good your nipples shouldn't be misshapen.

The tongue-tie itself is not always obvious, so your symptoms should also be taken into account.

You can also call the NCT BF helpline: 0300 330 0771(8am?10pm).

Good luck :)

Hi Sweetpea, hope you're feeling ok today. I tried nipple shields yesterday after reading the posts but he just sucked on it like a straw, strange child.

Do you find it impossible to get anything at all done other than feeding?! I lose whole days just trying to feed/crying & trying to recover from feed/expressing/looking for help on line. It's a miracle if I manage to get washed and dressed by the time DH gets home from work so you're probably coping better than me! I'm supposed to go to a BF support group tomorrow morning but I can't begin to imagine how unless I go in my dressing gown.

Hi KN - I remember those days, a positive for me was that I lost my ability to do housework and a year down the line I have never recovered it!

I think I nearly went to a support group in my pjs.

Afternoon KN - yes, sitting her in pjs... Although, today I have done the dishes, put the washing machine on and moved the laundry basket from the sitting room to the bedroom so feeling a bit like wonder woman at the minute:)

the rest of the time i am stuck yo the breast pump. Hopefully nipples will be better tomorrow so I can try bfing again.

thanks to all who mentioned tongue tie. midwife was here this mornung and says the baby does have one so is going to refer me to the hospital to get it fixed!!! hopefully this will be the answer (if I get an appointment before Chtristmas...)

So glad you've got a referal for TT, my LO had it and did terrible damage before it was snipped (which is fine, don't worry about it). I was pumping like mad etc and still couldn't get LO latched properly for weeks. Then I decided to stop and just give formula - I felt like I was going mad. After a few days of FF I felt so guilty that I decided to give it one last go and she did it, pain free latch!

That was at 7 weeks, and now at 19 weeks she just has a bottle at bedtime so that I can have a bath. I LOVE BFing, and am so glad I kept trying.

Be kind to yourslef xx

I'm so glad you have a diagnosis. Hopefully it won't be too long. DS was referred to King's College and was seen within 2 weeks. Did the MW give you an idea of how long?

In the meantime, keep expressing when you need to and experiment with positions when bf. I found lying on my side helped, as well as positions that helped DS's tongue fall forwards - let gravity work for you.

Good luck :)

I'm glad her TT has been diagnosed, referals are usually very quick IME. I hope things improve as quickly for you as it did for me and ds. (done in out patients in about 1 min)
Unfortunately dd's wasn't snipped till she was 2 and had to be done under GA
Good Luck

browneyesblue thank you! Your post has just made me realise my baby may have a tongue tie - we're going to Southampton to get him checked tomorrow. Hopefully this will help the painful breastfeeding issues....