Feeling nervous about BF

[Dozeyland]

37+2...
Feeling anxious about the whole On-demand feeding, day to day feeding, night feeds etc.

Living in my parents living room so lack of space, worried about not being able to settle baby, not knowing baby's cues etc, feeding in public... not ever finding routine..

worrying for no reason probably.?

Hi Dozey

I worried about bf too beforehand, and yet for both my DDs, despite mastitis once, it has been incredibly straightforward. I know I am lucky, but honestly it doesn't always hurt/they don't always feed 24/7, though they do feed pretty often!

About recognizing the cues before tears - my DD2, currently 6 months, has always started making loud sucking noises when she is hungry, before she starts to cry. Yours may have a different cue but you will learn to recognize it, and avoid the tears if you feed fast enough.

Good luck - having a newborn is so special.

Kellymom is your friend!

www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/hunger-cues.html

Also:
www.breastfeeding.com/aaavideo/hungercues.mov

I tend to think of these cues as:

1. Hmm, bit hungry, smack my lips.
2. Quite peckish now, there's got to be a boob around here somewhere. I'll just open my mouth and cast around wildly.
3. Cor, I'm starving. Maybe my hand is a boob.
4. Will ya just fucking feed me, fer gossake!

Thanks everyone for your feedback, its nice to read :-)

I look forward to trying regardless of my nerves. I just hope for some reason I dont dread it everytime baby wants to feed as it is so frequent in the first instance.

as you've all said its getting through this part thats the hard bit then i'll be flying with it (fingers crossed)

1 question in regards to "if baby stirs/cries" do i put it straight to breast? or try nappy/cuddle/etc first?

if baby has boob first time everytime wont this put them in a bad habit and expect it all the time no matter what? or do they eventually grow out of i within time? when they self-establish a rouine?

A friend of mine BF her girls until 6 months. 1 fed 2-3hrly and slept throught the night at 8 weeks by making a routine herself.

her 2nd one didnt sleep through until 8 months and fed every 1 hourly! just goes to show how different each baby may be

Re bad habits, you can't spoil a newborn, if they don't need to feed they will refuse, sucking will comfort and help bring on the milk, so the more the better.

Re night cues, motherhood does funny things. I am a very heavy sleeper, have slept through fire alarms, but if my baby so much as stirs or smacks his lips I am wide awake.(even when 5
min earlier I slept through dh stumbling into bed)

The other thing about cues is that you refine them, your actions teach baby the language. if you offer the breast when you see a cue, baby will learn to do that cue when she wants the breast. this is why you don't want to wait for her to be crying before you feed. eventually she will give up on the subtle cues and go straight to screaming because that is what worked before.

Dozeyland, re your question and what lies behind it: I want to build on what Porcelain says. Your newborn is blessedly uncomplicated. You don't need to worry about habits / psychology etc for a long long time. My BIL and SIL used to say of my DN that she was "a little madame" when she was 6weeks old and crying. It made me very :(. She was much too young to have any thought other than "help!".

Agree with you slhilly. my motto in the early days is 'if in doubt, get the boob out!'

It is overwhelming though dozey and for the first weeks you may feel like your baby is constantly attached to you. But that is normal, good and as with everything, it gets easier.

If you have accept that in the early days, all you will be able to do is feed the baby and rest (let your family feed you and do the chores)then life will be easier.

Thanks guys :)

when feeding, even if baby is suckling o you wind him/her or do you wait until they have finished/seem content or asleep?

Each time you've fed your baby will they more than likely fall asleep?

from 0-3m theres obviously a lot of change but say throughout the day when you feed, will the baby just sleep after? or be alert/playful too. or does this come from 3m+?

Feed on one breast until s/he comes off or fusses. Then wind and then offer the other breast. Wind once he comes off that side (if he wanted it).

Babies are often quite sleepy early on and will pretty much feed and doze on and off. As they get older, they'll having periods of activity when they are awake for a bit longer. Not sure on exact timings but it will vary from baby to baby.

Try not to worry though dozeyland, breastfeeding is a natural thing, that doesn't mean it's always easy, but it's what we're designed to do.

My dp sleeps through the night, regardless of how noisy the baby is

I only have one baby so I can only tell you about this one! In the first few weeks, if I heard my ds stirring/grumbling in the night I sat up and fed him. You are suddenly much more aware in your sleep when you have a baby next to you, so you'll hear the baby before anyone else in the house does! My ds rarely cried in the night as I'd wake up and feed him before that point. At about 3 weeks I realised sometimes he stirred in the night but didn't wake up so I didn't need to feed him at every snuffle. Initially while you're still learning about your baby, if in doubt feed him.

My ds rarely needs burping - I feed him lying down at night and slide him back into his bedside cot, so don't burp him. During day feeds if he gets fussy at the breast I just sit him up and that's enough to get up a burp.

I had no way of knowing how long he would go between feeds for at least the first 6 weeks. Now he's 8.5 weeks feeds have spaced out to about every 2.5 hours, so I know I have a 2 hour window.

Early he would just feed, then sleep, then feed. At about 4 weeks he would be awake for up to an hour at a time, now he can stay awake for up to 2-3 hours at a time. Still sleeps more than not though.

Now I tend to feed him, play with him, then he sleeps til the next feed. In the early weeks he fell asleep at pretty much every feed though.