anyone have this experience with bf toddler?

[chubbachupp]

my 21 month old is absolutely obsessed with bf. When we are at home and if I am sitting down he will approach me every 15 mins or so, basically any time I sit down (which is not that often because I avoid it) but lately, I've been feeling: goddamit, I WILL sit down in my own home.
has anyone been in this situation?
i try and say no, but to be honest, can't be bothered with a tantrum and think there must be a reason for this addiction; he obviously really strongly needs it but it does drive me mad and i often think: never again for this long. I will stop before they get so attached to it. He's always been like this. We've had a few short phases of just morning and night but only 2 weeks here and there.
I guess I'm a little scared that there is something 'wrong'.....

DD was just like that and at that age she went through a phase of it being constant. If I stopped moving, she was on me. She also was waking frequently and wanted nothing but milk.

I asked on here and it's VERY common. I think it's probably developmental, separation anxiety, teething molars etc. I let dd carry on but continued to distract her as much as possible and offer plenty of alternatives for food/drink.

Once she'd turned 2 (maybe 2.3 or 2.4), she was developmentally more able to be talked to about it. We chatted about when she would have milk and when she wouldn't and she was happy to agree to no more night feeds and morning and evening only. If I'd tried that at 22 months, she'd have been inconsolable. She just wasn't ready.

People used to talk about children cutting down naturally and 'never offer, never refuse'. Well, if I'd never refused, she'd have fed constantly.

She's 3.5 now and actually self weaning. She has a feed every few days or so, sometimes not for a week at a time.

It is normal. Every child is different and for every morning/nightime only bfer, there's a toddler who wants it all the time.

DD is 19 months and If I sit down, she's there. If she isn't DS2 (3.3) is there asking for milk. It will pass.....

oh thank you thank you!
that is so helpful and reassuring. I really don't want to turn it into a battle of wills and as frustrating as it is at times, I will just be patient and wait until like you say, he's ready developmentally to talk about it.

I just needed to hear it can happen and I haven't in some way 'made him like this' etc which was my deep down fear.

thanks!

My DD is 3.5. She BF in bed this morning when she woke up at 8am. She's just popped over to ask again, because I'm on the computer. As you say, it's every time you sit down. I either go with it or not, depending how I'm feeling at the time.

She has recently been waking up at night and asking (having slept through for years) but I've taken a firmer line and said not at night time, so that's easing off.

oh yes that sounds very familiar. I have now made it that she only feeds if I am in the rocking chair NO WHERE ELSE for the time being because it was getting to the point that if I sat to play lego with ds, she was sitting on my lap trying to feed and tbh I was not enjoying it at all. We are down to 3 day feeds and 1 very persistent middle of the night one and I am not, not, not going back to what we had before...I just don't think I could do it constantly anymore but am actually quite enjoying just a few times a day and much happier to continue with it

Yep, could have written the OP except DD is slightly older (just turned two). I've asked on here too because everyone I know seems to have cut down naturally and weaned at a year but it does seem to be perfectly normal. I also worry constantly that I've "made" her like this! Distracting does work sometimes but often Ijust don't have the energy.

Yep, my DD was exactly like this but then all of a sudden she started eating loads of solids and now is down to 4-5 feeds a day (used to be loads more!). I don't know whether this is because her canines finally came through or because my milk changed due to pregnancy. She will be 2 next week.

I also could've written that OP. My DD is just turned 2 and a milk addict. Sometimes I just love the closeness that it lends our relationship, especially as I now work full time and DH is a SAHD. As soon as I walk through the door in the evenings she is on me, and it's a wonderful way to reaffirm our closeness. She also feeds at least once in the night, and for me those extra cuddles help make up for the time we're apart during the day.

However, sometimes I just can't be bothered to whip them out yet again, for the 4th time that day. And sometimes if we're in company and she demands milk, I feel embarrassed and worry what people think of me still demand-bf ing a 2 year old. Distraction sometimes works but not always.

I do think that in my case it will only be another few months before we can talk about it and establish some ground rules, but at the moment my DD isn't ready emotionally or linguistically to grasp such a conversation.

Hang in there! It's quite normal.

Hmmnm. My DS will be one in a couple of weeks, and recently if we are at home he will crawl / walk over and pull at my top, feed for a few seconds, go off, do something else for a few seconds, and come back for more!

Am I setting a bad precedent?!

I don't think you are setting a bad precedent at all but then I am happy demand-feeding a toddler. Some people find it difficult to accept and you will probably get a few silly comments. If you are happy and your DS is happy then ignore what everyone else thinks.

By silly comments I mean 'rod for your own back' type comments.

Yes, I agree, EauRouge. You shouldn't worry and just try and embrace whatever bf personality your ds has. This thread has helped me do that, even though it can be hard. I have often looked back and racked my brains about how he got like this, but now I realise it's just the way he is, and I'm happy to go with it. As they get older, you realise you do need to start choosing your battles. I'd rather have my battles over issues of safety/becoming a nice, social being as opposed to trying to stop him having something which gives him great comfort.