Does bf = no routine?

[ExistentialistCat]

I've put my question in a very simplistic way to make it fit into a thread title - I'm not trying to be unnecessarily contentious but am curious about people's experiences.

I was unable to bf DD1 but am having much more luck with DD2 (now 11 days old). DD1 quickly settled into a pretty consistent routine largely of her own accord, which suited me very well indeed. By about 8 weeks we could put her down at 7pm and she'd wake for 1 or 2 feeds in the night and sleep until 6 or 7 am. My HV and MW have both said that this would be extremely unusual for a bf baby.

So I'm trying to get my head around whether I need to let go of my inner control freak own need for consistency and predictability in order to follow my baby's cues, or whether there's a happy medium between being baby-led but having some sort of pattern to our days and nights.

What have other people experienced?

It's been really interesting to hear about everyone's experiences and I'm very encouraged that the early on-demand feeding necessary to establish bf doesn't have to preclude establishing a routine later on.

Right now it feels like there might never ever be any predictable pattern to anything but I guess I'll just have to hang on in there! And it sounds like there's nothing much that I can do to make it happen sooner anyway...

No you can definitely have a plan once they are a bit older, but I wouldn't try anything for at least the first 4 weeks.

With DS I found that he developed windows when things would happen. Wake up between 7-8, feed twice before wanting another nap between 8.30-9 and so on.
You don't do things by the clock but you just feel that things are a bit more predictable.

I have BF both mine and encouraged a routine from the early days, and both slept and fed well, going 11pm-7am at around the 8/9 week stage. I don't think that's particularly common with exclusively BF babies, but having said that I know plenty of BF babies that slept at a similar age, so I certainly wouldn't say it's highly unusual.

For me the key to developing a successful routine was to have a general structure for the day in mind but always, ALWAYS be flexible. Never ever made them wait for a feed, but made sure I offered one every 3 hours or so during the day if they hadn't 'demanded' one by then. Had a vague idea of when I thought they would need a nap, but got to know their 'I'm tired' cues and adjusted the times as they needed. Accepted that any routine would go straight out of the window during growth spurts, and that a certain amount of 'going with the flow' was essential for everyone's sanity. But I always aimed for feeds and naps at similar times each day, and gradually the pattern built up, and it worked well.

So yes, IME experience there is a happy medium, and it is possible to have a routine of sorts with a BF baby. You just have to be sensible about it and not go to extremes.

DD2 is nearly 4 months and BF, and still has absolutely no routine! But it doesn't really bother me, i know as long as she has access to my boobs when she wants then she is happy, I know she will fall asleep in the sling/pushchair/car as long as she has had a good feed previously, so if I am going out with DD1 I just make sure DD2 has been fed beforehand.

It works for us and is so much less stressful than all the obsessive clock-watching I used to do with DD1!