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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Tell me how you weaned you little one off BF

31 replies

QueenFee · 29/09/2010 20:43

My Ds is nearly 15 months and I am ready to wean him. He feeds a lot day and night and feeds to sleep.
Please tell me how you convinced your toddlers to give up BF.
I already have 2 other children but 1 weaned themselves and the other weaned sort of by accident so I have never made a concious decision to stop IYSWIM.
thanks :)

OP posts:
TakeLovingChances · 29/09/2010 21:39

bumping for you cuz I'm interested in any responses people may have :)

Original poster
QueenFee · 30/09/2010 18:46

thanks TLC :)
Can anyone help?

OP posts:
lovingmy2 · 30/09/2010 19:41

No help but bumping for you as i too am interested.

bluepanda · 30/09/2010 22:00

I weaned DS1 at 15 months but by then he was down to just bedt ime feed so not sure how much help I'll be. But from what I recall, I dropped daytim feeds first, they were easily replaced by snacks/ meals/ drinks of water (interestngly he never really liked cows milk until he was off the boob!) I did morning and bedtime feeds for ages, then dropped the morning feed by taking a drink, a couple of rice cakes and box of raisins to bed for first thing in the morning.
The bedtime feed was for me the hardest one to drop and really stressed at the thougt of depriving poor ds. A bf counsellor gave me this great piece of advice 'don't offer but don't refuse' - and I found, much to my amazement, that some nights he just wasn't bothered at all and I was offering out of habit. The feeds became more infrequent until they stopped.And much as I had loved bf, I felt liberated!!
Good luck - I am now feeding number two and have to remind myself how it all worked and how it stpped....

Ragwort · 30/09/2010 22:02

er....... just stopped - but then I had never 'nursed to sleep' - and I was very tough ! Grin

lindsell · 30/09/2010 22:22

ds (18mo) is almost weaned and planning to stop fully in the next week. We dropped the daytime feeds a while ago though as I was going back to work. What I did then was to replace a bf feed with a small amount of milk and a snack. I did the mid morning one first and then the mid afternoon one. Once we were down to just nighttime/morning I was going to drop the morning one but one night he just suddenly refused to feed! since then we haven't had a nighttime bf (though he has still had milk) So not much help there. He now only bfs first thing in the morning and tbh I am just going to stop one day v soon (though going to do a "last feed" first as sad about stopping!) and take him up some milk and then give him breakfast as soon as he gets up. I found that it helped if I got dh to look after him when I would normally have bf him so that he didn't look for it iyswim.

good luck

TakeLovingChances · 01/10/2010 08:35

The problem I have is I just have no willpower to give up! I keep saying I will and people in RL are telling me to.

BF is so easy to settle DS if he's annoyed or sore etc and I like the ease of it. I offer it to him when he's upset during the day and then I get cross at myself cuz I know he isn't really hungry, just we're in the habit of this.

I don't bf him to sleep at night, so that isn't a prob, just when I'm in the house all day with him it is too easy to offer him my milk.

Maybe I'm the only one like this? I don't know.

OP - sorry for hijack, but maybe you're the same?

Original poster
QueenFee · 01/10/2010 21:14

TLC I couldn't agree more. Except I also feed him to sleep. I have been trying to reduce his daytime feeds by keeping out and busy and giving more snacks etc but when he wants milk he wants milk and there is no convincing him otherwise. I think I would be happy to carry on longer term if it was just morning and night but as it is round the clock I am finding it quite difficult.

Lindsell, that was how my dd weaned but it was not a concious effort on my part she did it herself.
My ds weaned when my mum had him for a week when I was really ill and he never asked her for milk and never asked when he returned.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 01/10/2010 21:18

TLC - WHY are people 'telling you to'??
'BF is so easy to settle DS if he's annoyed or sore etc and I like the ease of it.' sounds lovely - so you like, your DS likes it.... why stop? because OTHER people want you to?
what the hell is it to do with them?? :-)
why don't you carry on while you both like it, and tell other people to mind their own?
both dds weaned themselves. it was lovely, and special and I am really really glad I let them and didn't stop because of external pressures.

TakeLovingChances · 02/10/2010 11:20

harpsichord In theory I know that to be true. It's my business and no one else should butt in. I think part of me does want to continue with AM and during the night feeds, to see what age DS and I can take them to. Yet, another part of me wants to stop and make a clean break.

The part of me that wants to continue is the part of me that's still in SAHM mindset, but I may feel different when I return to work in January.

At what age did your DCs wean themselves? I have been thinking about doing that as one of my options.

We're taking it day at a time now, see what happens. He gets an afternoon bottle and one before bed. I bf him if he wakes during the night and first thing in the AM.

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2010 16:56

I'm working FT and happy still to feed, it doesn't have to be one or the other

TakeLovingChances · 02/10/2010 17:42

Stealth I know that, just trying to think of my options.

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2010 17:50

yes, sorry, just anther vote for the "if it isn't broken don't fix it" approach

harpsichordcarrier · 02/10/2010 19:40

tbh I don't know what age, soon after three I think. It was seamless and painless, it just happened, so there wasn't a significant date.
I do wonder why put themselves and their children through all the hassle and misery of stopping before they are ready. it doesn't make any sense to me, tbh.
I carried on bf through 3 or 4 day absences, full time working, pregnancy... it was a part of my relationship with both dds that came to a natural end.

TakeLovingChances · 02/10/2010 20:40

You've given me food for thought (even though this didn't start of as my thread!) will def think about it all.

At the minute, DS is enjoying feeding from me, and I'm enjoying feeding him. Good stuff. Will see what happens. :)

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2010 21:44

harpsi, did they stop before school, and if not did it cause any issues?

harpsichordcarrier · 02/10/2010 22:30

:-)
they both stopped soon after their third birthday. by that age it was not regular, and it tailed off to very occasional feeds/snacks/cuddles. by three and a half they had both completely weaned, but I couldn't pinpoint the last feed for either.
they were lovely times.

StealthPolarBear · 02/10/2010 22:46

DS is still going. He can go without if there;s a reason, such as tonight when he was at MIL's all day and was put to bed straight from being asleep in the car. Or if I'm away. But if we're both here he has to have a bedtime feed, and I can't see that ever stopping!

DitaVonCheese · 02/10/2010 22:56

If people replaced feeds with snacks, what snacks did you use? The only ones that I think would distract her adequately (chocolate milk, chocolate full stop, Cheese Strings) are not ones that I want to give DD as often as she wants to bfeed!

hellymelly · 02/10/2010 23:01

I'm still feeding my toddler (3).I have no idea when she will stop as she is very keen not to right now,but I am quite happy with that,she will stop when she's ready.She still sleeps next to me and I'm just enjoying her really,the only time I feel I should stop is when I get negative comments from others,my GP being a case in point.

StealthPolarBear · 03/10/2010 06:39

DS is happy to drink cows milk, and so we probably used that

Flighttattendant · 03/10/2010 07:15

The answer I think is waiting but also, introducing something else as an alternative as soon as poss.

Ds1 took cows milk from a bottle at 16 months, so I stopped then...his bottle replaced me as the source of comfort in that way.

Ds2 wouldn't countenance cows milk at all till a few weeks ago and he was 3 in June.

I'm still night feeding atm but less, as he has a bottle before bed, then gets to sleep in seconds on me because he's full.

I give him a bottle of milk when he asks for my boobs in the day, or say have your bottle then you can have a bit of mummy's milk.

He seems to be resigned to this a bit now. The pressure is off and I feel far happier. It's having a substitute and he's not great with actual food yet so it helps to know he's getting something.

essenceofSES · 03/10/2010 07:46

I'm another one with the opinion of focus on what you and DS want to do and what works for you.

When you or he do decide to wean, take it a day at a time. My DS is 17mo and still feeds morning and bedtime. Up until 2 nights ago, he fed to sleep but I decided to stop that. The last 2 nights I've fed him 10mins from each side and then put him in his cot. He's cried and last night he clung to me with both hands as I lowered him in BUT both nights, he's been asleep within 15mins.

There are no easy answers or easy methods but go with your gut feel and that is usually the answer.

DitaVonCheese · 03/10/2010 10:24

Thanks, will try to palm her off with milk. Kind of working at the moment though I need to find a convincingly non-spill cup and remember to wash it out before it goes rancid!

Original poster
QueenFee · 03/10/2010 21:25

Thanks for all your responses.

I think because DS doesn't take a bottle I am feeling a bit trapped as if I am away for any reason he just crys for DH which neither of us like.

I also want to wean as we want another baby which isn't going to happen till he stops. (Hi from the other thread Dita!)

I think I would be happy to continue to feed him for a while yet if I knew I could go out without him screaming for starters!

I know some people would think it selfish of me but I am generally with them 24/7 and on occasion I just feel the need to have some me time.

OP posts: