BF and slow weight gain - need confidence boost

[FortunateHamster]

Hi,

I've posted similar messages before. Basically I got DS weighed today and while he has gained weight, it's not as much as I was hoping for and he's dipped below his centile again.

Long story short: Born on 50th, went straight to 25th for few weeks, then down to 9th. Now just below 9th. Weighs 11lb 3oz.

My HVs are pretty good (ie don't immediately say use FF) and said it was fine and just to return sooner than four weeks so they could look at it again.

But I just feel a bit gutted. I am feeding him every two hours and am really getting into breastfeeding and yet something doesn't seem to be working.

There are a couple of things that could be having an affect. 1) he's easily distracted at the mo and keeps pulling off to smile/look around, etc and 2) I had a few green poo issues so ended up offering one side a feed. Would offer two if he clearly wanted it, but mostly one.

I'm thinking that I need to ensure I'm offering both sides with every feed and that I shouldn't assume he's finished just because he's pulled off a couple of times to look around.

He looks happy and healthy and not too skinny, and I'm still seeing several dirty nappies a day. Towards the end of the day they do sometimes get a bit green but as I've said I've tried the one boob a time thing and it didn't seem to do much.

I don't want to go to formula - it's not that I'm against it, but I am stubborn. Plus there are allergies in my family so I'd rather BF for as long as possible. And weaning isn't that far off, when I'll be able to introduce some more calories another way (will probably go baby-led weaning).

I don't know what I want to hear really, just some encouragement that I'm not a total failure maybe. Or some hints/tips if there's anything else I could try. I already go to a BF support group so latch is seen quite often (though he does latch on lazily sometimes).

HV can't be panicking if they aren't planning to weigh every 2 days. How old is your DS?

Keep going - DS will cry a lot if he's hungry so you'll know if he's getting enough to satisfy him.

Good luck!

"I'm thinking that I need to ensure I'm offering both sides with every feed and that I shouldn't assume he's finished just because he's pulled off a couple of times to look around."

I think you're spot on with your thinking FortunateHamster.

Sounds like you don't have too much to worry about- just a slight loss of confidence from you maybe?

I had a similar baby - born big (9lb 5) took him 4 weeks to get back to birth weight! and by about 2 months he was down around the 9th line... basically he would stop feeding when he wasn't actively hungry any more, so I would stop - we had one week where he put on nothing in 2 weeks, so I started offering the other side even when he seemed happy... he seemed to have another full feed on that side! Even though to all viewers he was full he evened out a bit and followed a line, but didn't start gaining proper weight until weaning - refluxy!

good luck, you are already doing fab, and I know how much of a disappointment it can be when you think its going well and they just don't put on what you would hope!

I had a similar problem with dd who was prem, initially fed on ebm (for 10 weeks) then when we got bf going she refused to entertain a bottle so I couldn't even give top ups (formula or ebm). I started to really regret bf because she was dropping centiles. She's still small (at 14 months is in 9-12 month clothes)and her stature is petite but she is a contented baby, enjoys solids and has only been ill twice in her life (a cold both times - a year apart). So I like to think that at the very least she has reaped some heath benefits. And I think the bonding helped - especially after her dramatic early arrival and the ensuing time apart when she was in NICU.

Thanks everyone. I forgot to say, he's twelve weeks old. I am simply frustrated as wasn't really expecting the weight gain to be low - feeding seemed to be going well, he seemed happy and then bleh.

badger, yes it is a bit of a loss of confidence. I just want to do well by him and to do well with breastfeeding - I feel like I'm failing him when he's not putting on enough weight.

mummy, you have it spot on - I thought it was going well! Grr argh, must try harder.

lady - am sure she has reaped lots of benefits, not least being close to you :)

Hello,

Glad the eminently sensible answers from MNers have put your mind at rest to a degree.

DD1 took 6 weeks to regain her birthweight and dropped from 50th centile at birth to a steady point just below the 25th - it was just her pattern and she stuck to it.

Have you come accrtoss Kellymom.com? It's a very good resource for bfing mums, and this page may be of particular interest to you: [[
www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/weight-gain_increase.html]] It's useful checklist if you have concerns and some techniques for increasing your DS's interest in continuing a feed.

Listen to your instinct - it may not be the loudest voice if this is your first baby, but it is likely to be the best one to listen to - you know your baby better than anyone else and if you think things are fine, they probably are. Likewise, if you have a concern, seek help and information from a source you trust. Congratulations on your successful breastfeeding so far!

Oops, just realised I got his first centile wrong - he was actually born on the 25th, then dropped to the ninth where he's been until he's gone just below it now.

Thanks Lastyears, I like Kellymom and will read it over again. My gut does say he's fine - he's laughing away to himself right now!

there you go then Fortunate- trust your instinct, look at your laughing baby and other indications of a healthy baby aside from the charts.

Please don't say you feel like a failure- you're doing the best you can for your little boy.

fortunatehamster- I was in the same boat as you about 14mths ago...

My DD2 was born prem, but on 50th centile. came home, stayed at same weight for a week, then gained only a couple of oz the next week, then got ill and lost all weight gain, and was back to birth weight. Then by 4 wks old she'd dropped to below 0.2nd centile. The SCBU HV's forced me to put her on bottle dispite me not wanting to, made it out like she'd not develop right and i'd be neglecting her if i didn't... i knew otherwise but in the pressure started givving formula, that for her weight she was gatting 70% of her daily milk intake from the formula, in a week she gained no more than the previous week on just BF, so they made me up formula... a couple of days later my milk started to dry up, and i refused to give up, spent 24hrs feeding almost constantly to up my supply again. When they came a few days later she'd gained the most weight so far... they said maybe it was better to put her on the formula- then i told them i'd stopped it a few days prior and her weight gain was down to my feeding not the formula!!

She continued to be a slow weioght gain baby, and only weighed 12lb 9oz on her 1st Birthday, but she's now 19mo, walking, chatting away in her own language, she's still only tiny, weighting around 17lb but she's happy and healthy and honestly, i forget we had all the trouble at the start.

Some babies are born much bigger than their genes say they should be, and sometimes some babies take longer to gain their weight, but if he's happy, and you're happy he's a healthy alert baby then i dont see any need to worry.

I personally found the regular weigh-ins so stressful- and haven't had her weighed at clinic, she was discharged from her consultant a couple of months ago, and it's not abnormal for a prem baby to be seen till 5yo- so if the cons has no worries on her weight i dont either :)

Oh, and i'm still happily breastfeeding her 3-4 times a day!! :)

Hope your little one continues to thrive, and you're a happy mummy whatever the outcome on the feeding. :)

awfully written, I'm very sorry- hope it's read-able (even though i couldn't read and understand most of it myself)... i'm v.tired but couldn't let it go unsaid and babbled it all out in one huge breath!!

Not awfully written at all - thank you for telling your story :)

My DS1 was on the 91st centile when he was born. It took himnearly 6 weeks to get his birthweight back. And by the time he was weaned onto solids he was on the 9th centile! It is really hard with your first when you don't always have the confidence to know whats right and really need those extra signs that everythings going well. I remember one week when he'd only gained 1oz and i just went home and cried. I had very little support from the midwives who told me he was too big to ebf! And left me feeling very self indulgent for wanting to feed him. My family could see I was struggling and also felt that he should have some top ups. Luckily the HV were much more supportive. I'll never forget the moment when a HV told me what a lovely experience I was giving my baby - it was the first time anyone had said I was doing the right thing.
DS1 was not held back at all by his early slow weight gain. He crawled at 7 months and walked at 10 months. He's now nearly 9 yrs and is a healthy, active, intelligent boy.
You are doing a wonderful thing for your DS and giving him a great start in life. Try not to worry too much about his weight. All babies are different. These tiny baby days don't last for ever - it probably seems hard to imagine but it wont be long before your DS is a robust toddler charging around yout home! - so try to relax and enjoy them while they last! Good luck!

Sorry I haven't read all the posts, but have you tried switch feeding. I used to just keep switching sides until she wouldn't take anymore (well sometimes this was around 10 times).

She was also born on 25th and went down to 2nd at 4 months, but she crawled a few days after 6 months. She was also an incredibly fussy eater. She is better now, normally does 4 sides.

honestly don't worry - my DD2 was born on the 50th centile and is now just below the 9th. Last time I had her weighed she was 12 weeks and 10lb 8, so even less than your DS. I had a good chat with the HV about weight, as several family members had tried to suggest she was too small. The HV said it was completely normal for BF babies to drop a couple of centile lines and that a good birth weight just meant it was a healthy pregnancy and had no relation to how big/small the baby was actually going to be.

Keep going, sounds like you are doing great!