I don't want to feel like this anymore

[Liloosmum]

My 16 week DD used to be a good sleeper, sleeping from 9ish until 4-5 and then sleep again until 8. That all changed after her 12 week jabs. I put it down to a growth spurt, but she seems to have got worse again. I'm breast feeding.

We were having a 48 hour cycle where she would sleep until 4-5 one night and then the next night wake up 1ish and then 4ish which wasn't too bad because at least I got a decent night every other night.

But the past couple of nights she has slept until 11.30-12ish and is then awake again within 3 hours and then awake every 1 and a half hours to 3 hours (if I'm lucky!)

She's had her 16 week jabs today so it will probably all change again, but I've just had enough of it and feel so tired all the time. I've got a nearly 4 year old daughter who has just started pre-school so I've got to get her to school in the morning and then occupy her all afternoon too.

I've spoken to the health visitor and all she could suggest was transferring DD to her cot instead of her moses basket because she might be waking herself by bashing into the sides of her basket and then wanting milk, but then I'd have to get out of bed to feed her so I might then get even less sleep. The HV said that DD should have sleep more than 1 and a half hours at night even if it is another growth spurt.

I don't know what I want/expect anyone to say really, just wanted some reassurance.

Hi liloosmum. I'm afraid i don't have much advice, as i am in a similar predicament with my dd2. now 18 weeks and been all over the place since around 15-16, waking every 2 hours after 12pm. i started a thread on here not long ago about it, as i too feel totally shattered and also have dd1 at preschool so have the morning/afternoon issues you do. all i can say is, from what i remember from dd1, it definitely does get better eventually. sorry can't be much help but you are not alone!

Sorry but fluctuating sleep patterns are normal and it will change again - can't say when.
Have you considered co sleeping, and feeding lying down? DD is 1 and is up fairly often through the night (best she's ever done was 8-3am) and that's how I keep my sanity

Me too. I'm shattered - dd2 is 18 weeks. We co sleep and she won't go into her cot at all and a previous good pattern of 9 to 4 or even 5 is now 10 to 1 or 2 (12.20 last night) then every hour after.

fluctuating sleep patterns are definitely normal up to about 6-8 months i think. in my experience, it settles down massively then, once they are taking more solids and mobile so wearing themselves out more in the day. i'm not sure i would be able to carry on with frequent night wakings for much longer than that though, certainly not for over a year!

I am so pleased (in a wierd way) to read this. My 18week old is up every couple of hours at night also after midnight and I wasn't sure if it was "normal". The most sleep I've had in 3.5 months is 3 hours in a row.

The joys of motherhood (!).

Liloosmum - really sorry that you're feeling so rubbish. No advice but much sympathy.

Sounds like the 4 month sleep regression to me. It's due to a huge developmental spurt around 19 weeks (adjusted for whether baby was born early or late), when LOs become more aware of the world around them and more sociable.

More info here, here, here and here.

It does pass. I'd also recommend co-sleeping & lying down to feed - I started at 4 months and really wished I'd tried it sooner.

Your HV is talking rubbish IMO - lots of babies do this. At 7 months my DS was waking every 1.5 - 2 hours from the start of the night (which he also did at 4 months). At 5 months he only woke once or twice a night, though, and likewise at 8 months. We're stuck in the 9 month regression at the moment, but it does keep on changing.

phew - I'm not the only one. My 19 wk DS (ebf) is up every 2 hours, which is particularly annoying as he slept brilliantly when he was first born (8 - 2 or 3 every night. Heaven) I felt so smug, then at 10 weeks it veeeery gradually changed and now it really is every 2 hours

I hope it settles down soon - until then, I'm just happy he's up and straight back to sleep after a feed. If he starts STAYING up...

Anyway, I also have a DD who is nearly 3, so I feel your collective exhaustion. They all sleep eventually don't they? Don't they?

We had a better night last night. My DH suggested putting the mattress from the cot next to our bed so I only had to bend down to pick her up and could still sit in bed to feed (and we haven't changed the cot bed back to a cot yet!) I don't know if it was because she had more room, or if it's just coincidence, but we went to bed about 8.30 and she slept until about 2 and then fed for about 20 minutes. She then slept again until 7.15!

I didn't sleep very well because I was almost waiting for her to wake up and my boobs were a bit uncomfortable because they're not used to that much of a break, but I do feel better today, almost human! I really hope it continues!