Am I ever going to be able to exercise again?

[Petsville]

DS is 6 weeks old and exclusively BF on demand. I'm sore, achey (particularly my back) and look so dreadful I can't bear to face the mirror any more - I fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes but I don't look like myself at all. I exercised all through the pregnancy and stayed pretty fit, and now I'm desperate to get back to some kind of exercise but can't see how when DS is so unpredictable. I can't leave him with DH for an hour and a half if he's likely to spend all that time screaming for food, and I haven't been able to express much so far because DS seems to want to feed so much at the moment.

I hate to mention routine - I know it's a dirty word on here - but when is he at least going to get a bit more predictable? Am I going to have to start giving him formula if I want to get any exercise and feel better? Feeling really low this morning, please help.

I really remember feeling how you do - not desperate for exercise, but that feeling of having to be very close all the time in case DD needed feeding. I didn't know what else to do with her, and we had a bit of a rough time with jaundice right at the start, so every time she so much as squeaked I fed her. I remember watching my MIL walking her up and down soothing her and feeling like snatching DD and feeding her straight away. It's so hard to know your baby is crying when you could stop it immediately with you magic boobs.

BUT

My dad is a bit amazing at bouncing babies up and down to soothe them, he and my mum came over and took DD and she cried and he soothed her to sleep by walking up and down with her on his shoulder and I realised that actually it was OK for her to be soothed by others and that my boobs weren't the only way.

and if you're out of earshot then it's a lot easier!

just feed lo and then go somewhere closeish, for an hour. to a coffee shop with a paper or just walk/cycle somewhere close by. make DH promise to ring you if lo becomes inconsolable. In a couple of weeks you'll be fine doing this and as the weeks go by you'll be able to get away for a bit longer.

Thanks, RobynLou, that makes me feel better - I'm sure you're right. DS was jaundiced at the start too (though fine now).

Getting your DH to come to the leisure centre sounds like the best plan so there's the minimum amount of time between feeds.

Actually, abr1de, I don't deserve your defence! I posted before the bit about how great Petsville's DH is with the LO.

However, Petsville, I second abr1de again about doing something which is good for you.

Also, Petsville, make sure you don't let yourself dwell too much on how wonderful DH is and what a "useless mother all round" you are. That probably only feels true because you are still tired and just not with it. People forget that giving birth is a major effort, on top of months of strain from what is effectively a parasite (so: running a half-marathon/full marathon - depending on labour after a long period of less than physical fitness.) You will learn, and in time your experience will outstrip that of DH. Make sure you realise when this happens, and take satisfaction in it, rather than continuing to think of him as "the competent one".

For another thing, you say that you were keeping in shape and cycling and so on, but this suggests to me that you are vulnerable to the myth that women "bounce back" in the manner of these idiotic "celebrity" women (who are scared that have nothing else going for them but their looks and body). They have normalised an absolutely absurd and dangerous view of the postnatal period.

If I've got the wrong end of the stick on that, as well, so be it, but let me just repeat what I said earlier: this is far too early in your child's life to despair!

In our area there are things like buggyfit, where you can wrap your baby up warm in the buggies, meet some other mums and walk round the park/ do some exercises etc. Baby stays asleep with the motion. How about something like this?

I EBF and had a c-section, I first started going out on my own to exercise at 5 months old. Before that I found lots of walking (baby sleeping in pram) and the EBF made the weight drop off - I was the lightest I'd ever been.