Explain to me why bf is worth it

[ExistentialistCat]

Couldn't bf DD1 and it nearly broke my heart. DD2, 1 week old, seems to have got the hang of it and I'm delighted, BUT not sure whether I can keep this going...

DD1 is only 14 months old. I seem to be attached to DD2 ALL THE TIME and although DD1 is very independent and has taken all this in her stride, it's asking an awful lot of her. It's just about possible while DH has bits of paternity leave that he can take, but what about when he has to return to work full-time?

I've been advised by MW and HV that co-sleeping will help me to establish breastfeeding. I HATE co-sleeping.

I quite like some sort of routine. Not rigid, she-who-must-not-be-named routine, but some structure and predictability. This seems impossible with bf at the moment.

I know that ff isn't all rosiness either and didn't exactly enjoy the sterilising, boiling, cooling down and all that faff last time round. But a lot of things were much simpler - knowing roughly when DD1 would want another feed, knowing how much she'd had, being able to plan my day and get out and about.

Please don't just tell me to keep going for 6 weeks and it will all magically get better. 6 weeks feels like a lifetime when you haven't slept for a week.

I feel that bf is pushed so hard these days that it must be virtually illegal to even consider ff out of choice rather than necessity.

oh oh oh forgot to say, it is a very cool way to lose weight, as long as you remember to slow down on your eating as your baby feeds less and turns to solid food more,

remember, breast milk is very sweet (I have tasted a bit for fun, as it was there!) very creamy and very abundant, and all those calories are coming off your body. Make milk mummy! you will be a great mum whatever you feed your babe though, I am sure!

I am BFing my DS who is 4 weeks old. I struggled sooooooo much (and still struggle somewhat) with BFing but gradually things are getting better. Could you express a bottle a day? It is a faff but at least it gives your boobs a break and allows DH to feed too. I just keep thinking of a) the health benefits b) the money saved and c) the extra 500 calories I can eat a day (not sure that should be in biscuits but hey!). Good Luck.

Congratulations on the baby.

On the breastfeeding, it is definitely worth persevering (this comes from sby who had all bfding complications in the book, various times) because:

• it is good for the baby (allergies, guts, etc, see learned posts above)
• it is good for you (lower rates of various cancers, lower risk of osteoporosis)
• it is easy once you and the baby get the hang of it
• it is free and on tap
• it helps returning to pre-pregnancy figure
• it is great to look at your baby, esp when bigger, and think "I made him/her, all of him/her- s/he is me" (including the extra kilos put on since birth)
• it is a lovely feeling (the relaxation hormones afterwards help you sleep and keep you calm and relaxed- am quite hooked on it)
• it helps bonding
• it is an excellent way of ensuring you sit down and take the time to rest and enjoy close physical contact with your baby.

And some breastfed babies do have very regular lives. Mine certainly did- he started to feed regularly when I had to express (exclusively expressed for 3 weeks due to a number of the complications mentioned above which made feeding at the breast amazingly painful, even with painkillers)... Anyway, when I started expressing DS would have a bottle of EBF then sleep, wake up, play a bit and feed again. The cycle was three-hourly during the day while at night he started doing a six hour stretch at about 2 weeks. When we returned to the breast, he pretty much stayed on that "timetable"- except it was not a schedule dictated by me, but by his cues. Now he is 8 months old and still lives like clockwork, feeding four-hourly from the first morning feed (any time between 6am and 7.30am) until about 8pm at night, when he has last feed and goes to bed (again, when he gives tiredness cues, not by the clock).

All this to say that it is really worth sticking with it, life will improve (but I realise you probably cannot believe it now- I certainly could not). Good luck!

I'm now at 5 weeks with dd2 - dd1 was ff and this is soooo much easier! And lovely too, and it's kind of nice to have an excuse not to clean Dd1 is 2.5 and my sling is my friend!

With DD1 I did a mixture of BF, FF, and expressing, it was hell! DD2 is 14 weeks now and still BF, and it is so much easier!

• no faffing around with steriliser

-when we go out I can just pack the change bag and leave, no worrying about how many bottles to bring in case we're out for longer than planned etc

• instant source of comfort when DD2 is crying

-I can BF in a sling while playing with DD1 in the playground

• as pestia said, it's nice to have an excuse to sit down while DH does the cleaning
• my friend with a baby the same age is FF and hers is still in no routine either, so FF doesn't necessarily mean a better routine
• weight loss definitely quicker this time

If you can get through the first few weeks it IS worth it. But if you decide not to then don't beat yourself up, as you know from DD1 she will be fine either way. Do what suits you best.

If, like me, you have a baby who never ever says no to the offer of a boob, then you can go anywhere and know that you can always keep her quiet as long as there's somewhere to sit down. And as long as s/he doesn't slurp too loudly.

But I totally understand how you're feeling. My one piece of advice would be not to take anything to heart. HP's have to push breastfeeding because that's their job, but sometimes they don't realise when it's time to stop talking by the book and look at the real life situation. You know the facts, you're intelligent and you know yourself and your baby. It's your life, your baby and your decision.

Oh and one more...

If you were travelling in your car and got stuck in the snow for hours on end, you could still feed your baby. OK, maybe that's not that likely- but you never know.

Think I've had one cup of coffee too many this morning.

You may joke, crikeybadger, but that's a real possibility up here! That and running out of formula due to being snowed in. Those scenarios featured in my own decision making!

There you go then, reason 102 to keep breastfeeding!

Thank you so much, everyone. Your replies have hit just the right balance of reminding me that it is my decision and encouraging me to go on. I'm taking it a day at a time as best I can!

Good luck - I'll be thinking of you!

I just had to come back on this thread to tell all you lovely people who wrote with words of encouragement that DD2 had put on 5 ounces in 5 days when she was weighed the other day!! I am comically, ridiculously proud of this even though I feel like an absolute husk at the moment!

There is nothing more relaxing in the world than breastfeeding lying down