Ok, now I need hardcore advice re unsettled baby on the boob

[PacificDogwood]

Following on from the lighthearted thread (which btw helped me realise I am not alone, so thank you to all contributors ) I am now looking for some serious advice and encouragement to stop me from giving DS4 away stopping to BF .

DS4 is just over 6 months old, not at all interested in solids (tried purees and half-hearted BLW) and still BFing every 2-3 hours. That is tiring enough, but not my main issue: the fact that he is never happy/settled on the breast is really stressing me out. He has never had that milky, 'drugged' loss of consciousness after a feed that I knew from the others. He always seems to 'fight' the breast with tugging, moaning, pinching, scratching, legs and arms going like the clappers, back arching. He often bobs on and off the boob like a demented yo-yo (pardon the mixed metaphors, like I said, he's doing my head in..) and cries before, during and after feeds.

He has been seen by HV, GP and paeds. I am a GP myself and haven't got a clue what I would advise another mother in my shoes.

He has had treatment for presumed reflux (Infant Gaviscon, Ranitidine, Lansoprazole, Domperidone) all with little/no difference.

He has always gained weight, but remains small at just above the 2nd centile from birth. I used to be really worried about his weight/strange poos (now normal) and constant crying. Now I am not so much worried anymore, just at my wits end, aaaargh!

I have tried offering a FF top-up in the evenings (his sleep, or lack of, are a whole other thread..), but he does not want it and it certainly has not made a difference to how hectic/unsettled/fidgety he is.

Any ideas? Anyone? Please?

hmmm well.... i think weight and solids are red herrings here. some babies aren'yt ready for solids at 6 months. and if his weight has stayed around the same centile that's not a cause for concern

his behaviour is within the realms of normal. all of mine have certainly done exactly what you describe. I wonder tho if the extent is unusual. ie, mine didn't do it as very small babies, and they didn't necessarily do it at every single feed
does he do it at night?

what were his strange poos like? what happened when you gave him formula? was he worse the day after or just the same?
have you considered the possibility of a cow's milk protein intolerance? that can lead to irritability, fussing, lots of crying... it could be worth cutting it out of your diet for a few weeks just to see if it makes a difference?

what about cranial osteopathy? perhaps he is uncomfortable in a nursing position? what was his birth like?

the breastfeeding every 2-3 hours i would also say is well within the realms of normal. my second baby was still feeding hourly at 9 months and the third was definitely still at least 3 hourly at 6 months tho less now.

Thanks for your thoughts, thisisyesterday.

He has had osteopathy x3 when he was @ 3 months old with little improvement although the lady who did it came very highly recommended.

CMPI was on our list of possible problems (although it is so exceedingly rare in EBF babies which he was until very recently). I went dairy free which again did not change anything.

He poos were very bright or dark green and stank to high heavens, like rotten eggs when he was tiny. They abruptly turned 'normal' (yellow and runny, not so much Chicken Korma - sorry if TMI) in week 12 although I had not changed anything.

He recently has at times taken a bit of FF around bedtime - anything from 0 to 5 oz and it does not make any difference; neither good nor bad. By that I mean he does not sleep any better/longer and he is equally not more unsettled. Admittedly his nighttime feeds are the most peaceful ones with the least fussing and he usually goes back down again easily - unless teething/cough/constellation of the starts gets in the way...

I know the feeding frequency is normal and am going with the flow. Although I am going back to work the week after next and was hoping to be able to give the CM some food for him - that's not going to happen by the looks of it.

And WOW at what a milkmonster you no2 was! Good grief!
I feel a bit stupid as he is my 4th and you'd kind of think I'd have it all sussed now with the rearing baby/feeding/sleeping etc etc - but no; he is teaching me that I have NOT every day, the little sod .

Oh, and I suppose I am prepared to accept that he is simply a fidgety child, but it is just No Fun feeding him.

The German term for 'BFing' is 'stillen' which means 'to calm/quieten/make still' and it is such a lovely image IMO: crying, hungry, unhappy, frantic baby made calm and comforted by mum's breast milk. It just aint like that here...

My LO is also small, at 26 weeks she just nudged above the 2nd centile, and also rarely settles at the breast, although it doesn't sound like as much of a fight as you have on your hands.

Might swaddling help? Might keep his hands out of the way at least. I also find a quiet room with no distractions helps, but I'm sure you've tried that.

Finally, I had to accept that she is either a quick feeder, or just doesn't have much appetite... she rarely takes more than 5 minutes on each side for a full feed, and hasn't for ages. Maybe your DS4 is the same?

Poor you.

Not much to add...

If it's any consolation my DC3 fed every 3 hours or so til 8 months...

I would resort to an electric (rented) pump to really up your supply if you really want to go on

Mine did all that you describe when the let down was not strong enough and they had to 'work' to get it

when i upped the milk production ( freezing the pumped stuff - gallons of it!) they fighting stopped although a couple of my boys have not had that milky drugged dopey look you describe

I know it's hard but i actually like the pump more than feeding when its like this and the joy of KNOWING the child has more than enough milk is bliss

Hey, thanks, everybody, for the sympathy, of course it helps .

Oh, yes, we need a quiet room; I am also not allowed to speak to anyone whilst feeding nor can the telly be on. Or a page of a magazine/book be turned...

He tends to feed 8-12 minutes on one side, then about 5min on the other.

I am off to bed now, but will check back again tomorrow.

hmm definitely weird nappies! i wonder what changed???

what is he like the rest of the time?

oh and has he always "fought" on the breast? because i know it is common for them to get really distractible around that age and just fidget a lot. but if he has always done it then obviously there might be more to it

it certainly does sound as though he is uncomfortable feeding... hmmmm

i am out of ideas though, but hopefully some more people will come along soon with other thoughts on it!!!

honestly the more you say the more it sounds like mine- that quiet room thing drove me nuts

vicious circle though - stress - slower let down baby starts fighting- stress etc etc etc

I empathise !

actually it could also be the opposite of notanotters problem... fast letdown and he is struggling with it??

could be but with the baby on 2nd centile i wonder. I would imagine an over quick let down with a younger baby causing spluttering and agitation but not really in 6 month old

Three of mine were like this and they were the slowest weight gainers

I swear boys are greedy buggers from the day they emerge and just want it and want it NOW

I love this pump

I swear by it

I am still here - damn that MN !

I think it is a slow letdown rather than fast - he has a pronounced preference for the R boob as did his brother.

NotanOtter, the stress/slower let-down is exactly it!! I think that is part of the reason why nighttime feeds are nicer - we are both half asleep and NOT uptight/stressed.

DS1 was a bit like this and everybody and their brother assured me 'those are the clever ones' and DS1 is... but, good grief, there are times at the mo', I'd settle for a 'normal' child, whatever that is ...

Must go to bed, must go to bed, will not check active convos again...

have a look here... my local LLL groups are fab, might be worth giving yours a call, or visiting if there is one near you