Colic baby - please help not coping

[Buckler]

Hi hoping this is the right place for support. My dd turned 8 weeks on Tuesday and has seemingly turned into a monster, she cried non stop all day only stopping to feed (bf on demand) then crying again, i called the health visitor who said she had colic, she did calm down after her eveing bath and slept till twelve then today she's been screaming non stop all afternoon she wouldn't settle at all with me. I feel heart broken my dd who was starting to play and interact more over the weekend has now turned into a baby who screams exclusively. What am i doing wrong? I feel scared about how to hold her now and so scared of her screaming again all day, when she cries i just cry o know this doesn't help. Does this get better any tips please help feel like a failure. My dh works 11 hour days and tries to help in evening but majority of day i'm on my own i have hurt my back from holding her non stop on one side, i have friends who have offered to help but bf makes it harder and i hate leaving her plus most of my friends have children so don't really want to burden them.

Hi saw your post and didn't want you to go unanswered. I have a 2 week old baby ( hence me being awake at this time) so I haven't come across colic yet although it I think it may happen as he does have fussy tendencies in th evening.

I'm sure someone more knowledgable will be along later meanwhile i would suggest you try cry-sis who also have a helpline open from 9am for help with colicky babies and their mums.

Hello - firstly it will pass, I know it's nearly impossible to believe when you're in the middle of it but it will. We went through a similar stage and I was convinced it was 'colic' and would last forever but was lucky it was just a couple of weeks for us. There's lots of reasons but could be wind, just a fussy few days, a growth spurt etc. It might be worth taking her to the doctor but likely he will just say 'colic' but might ease your mind (a little - I know it's really hard to deal with crying all the time and makes you feel desperate).

There's some great ideas from a guy called Harvey Karp who wrote a book called 'Baby Bliss' or 'Happiest Baby on the Block' in the US. You've probably heard some of his ideas - swaddling, shhing noise rhythmically and quite loud in her ear, playing white noise etc. Also getting a swing can really help if you don't have one already? You can see a lot of his stuff on Youtube if you don't want to buy the book.

Have you tried putting her to the breast more often too, that can sometimes sooth but I know it's hard when it feels like all you do.

I really, really recommend taking the help when it's offered. Just being able to take 30 minutes to have a shower and a cup of tea while you're not responsible for a crying baby can make a big difference.

Most of all, you're not on your own, so many of us remember the desperate early days, especially that feeling when something changes and you're wondering where your calm baby went. It will pass, it just won't feel like it until it does. Hang in there and come back to vent any time you need to xxx

Oh yes, and you are not doing anything wrong! Even if it seems like she's not comforted by you holding her because she's crying, she knows you're there and are her mummy, it's just one of those early day things about babies.

Buckler I would fully agree with everything that Monkeytoo has said - I found the Harvey Karp book really useful although if you are having such a ruough time at the moment you probably don't have time to read it. If I remember correctly the 5 points are

1. Swaddling -tight so it feels like LO is still in womb
2. Rocking - again as if they are inside you so must be swaddled for this
3. Rocking whilst they are on tummy obviously - you holding them not in the cot!! Stops the "falling" reflex we all get as we go off to sleep - can't remember the posh name for it
4. Shhing noises very loudly or "white" noise from radio - supposed to sound like the blood going through your Aorta in your abdomen so needs to be slightly rhythmic
5. Sucking - either through feeding or dummy

There is a great theory behind it but you don't need to know that to get it to work. You must do all of top 4 in order and 5 is last resort type thing - the other thing is getting it the right way which by the sound of it the You tube videos show.

You also do need to take help when you can - my Dh also worked long hours when we had DD now 5 and it was hard even though he was really close to home he couldn't come and help.

Hope it gets easier soon.

This is about 9 minutes long and puts it in the correct order!!

This works really well for colic if you want to try it.

Give 2 droppers (1ml) of infacol before the feed and a syringe (2.5ml) of dentinox in the milk if you are bottle feeding or in the mouth if breastfeeding. Then feed half the bottle or halfway through the breastfeed, burp him and give the other half and burp again. Leave it for 10 minutes and give 2 spoons (10ml) of gripe water, wait 5 mins and burp again.

You need to do it for every feed without fail and it could take at least 4 days to completley kick in.

Mine did this, was diagnosed as silent reflux, and instantly improved after first dose of infant Gaviscon. Colic is often caused by reflux. Try the Gaviscon, if it works you have reflux, if not, well what have you lost? Mine changed overnight from a hell child driving me literally and certifiably insane, to a lovely wee lad.

Also have you thought about wearing some sort of sling?

Mom Tai and Toddler Hawk are excellent, and even have a head support for when they go to sleep. Despite the name the Toddler Hawk can be used for newborns, you just roll the bottom up to make it small enough, so it is better value as it will even fit a 5 year old.

OP really feel for you its so draining when they cry like that and it can feel relentless.

Have you tried the tiger in the tree hold I always finds that calms my DD down. Also will baby sleep when out in the pram or in the car? It might be worth taking them out for a bit when it's really bad to get them to settle.
I also found that putting the hoover on would stop the screaming for a bit.

This Slumber Bear is good because it contains a battery operated compartment that plays white noise and you can take it out in the pushchair with you unlike a CD. You can pick them up cheaply on Ebay and NCT sales.

You are doing everything RIGHT. You are trying to do what's best for your baby and you are asking for help. Colic is utter hell but it will stop.

My suggestions are:

• Let a friend take her for a walk in the pram. It often helps colic, gives you a break and they aren't going to be burdened - they are wanting to help. An 8 week old BF baby will be fine away from you for 1/2 hour or an hour.

• If you can afford it, take her to a cranial osteopath.

• Try gently "bicycling" her legs with her on her back - it can relieve trapped wind. You can also gently massage her tummy in slow, big circles.

• A sling is a great idea. I would recommend a Kari-Me or MAM type sling - a stretchy, wrap sling.

• Keep a food diary and compare it to her behaviour to see if anything you're eating is linked (for me it's dairy).

I know you're going through hell and it's heartbreaking but try to be kind to yourself and don't blame yourself - you're doing everything right and most babies go through this horrible and scary phase.

Oh, colic is hideous.

A sling is a really good idea. Scientific research experiments have shown that babies who are carried in a sling for 2+ hours a day cry a lot less than other babies (something like 40% less, IIRC). This works best if you have them in the sling before the crying, but if you pop them in the sling once the crying starts, it does help although not so much.

Being able to hold the baby in a sling should help your back etc as the weight is distributed more evenly across your back & shoulders, and depending on what sort you use, you may be able to feed in it too.

You could try hiring a sling to see what type suits you best - google 'sling hire' and you'll find some companies. Or search for 'sling library' - there may be one near you.

The unsettled period for most babies peaks around 6-8 weeks so hopefully it will improve soon.

I'd get her checked out for reflux too, though, just to put your mind at rest.

Hope it improves soon, and do take up any offers of help you get - it really is desperately awful if you have a baby like this.

Where abouts are you? I would be happy to lend a mei tai or wrap if you're local.

Don't discount overtiredness as a factor in colic. Spending a few days devoted to getting them to sleep by whatever means necessary may be helpful. Otherwise we relied on a sling and reducing stimulation from tv, radio and other people.

I have been there and it is unspeakably hard. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. This won't help much, but DS was a screaming miserable baby who nearly broke me. And he became the most charming, sweet, affectionate, articulate and funny little boy you could imagine. I promise this will pass and better days will come.

Hi, You don't mention her feeds apart from to say that she's being breastfed. Sorry to sound a bit crass but what happens if you put her to the breast when she's crying? If this soothes her, I would just feed her!

Someone said in an earlier post that feeding would be the last resort after swaddling, white noise etc but bf would be the first thing I would do.