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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Am I the only one who does not enjoy BFing?

22 replies

Dotters · 16/09/2010 18:56

DD is 4 weeks old and exclusively demand led breast fed. I have no issues with feeding in terms of getting her to latch on, or feeling any pain or discomfort.

I do dislike breast feeding though. I read with envy people who say the experience is special, helps them bond or is something they can enjoy.

I can't even really explain what I dislike - its the sensation definitely, but its also the lack of any pleasant emotions too.

I intend to breastfeed for a full 12 months, but the though really depresses me at the moment.

Am I alone feeling like this?

OP posts:

jemjabella · 16/09/2010 19:01

I didn't like it or enjoy it for months. Thought I was missing something or doing something wrong because I did not love the apparent precious bond with my daughter (don't get me wrong, love my daughter but that was in spite of breastfeeding not because of it).

It all changed around 4-5 months, when she started to look at me, pat me, smile at me etc while feeding. These days I couldn't imagine not feeding her!

Original poster

Dotters · 16/09/2010 19:18

Thank you Jemjabella - maybe I shall hold on to that thought to get me there, and if I can make it that far I can go all the way, even if I still hate it. At least I hope so.

OP posts:

MumNWLondon · 16/09/2010 19:47

Dotters, it gets much more rewarding at around 6-8 weeks when the baby looks up and you and smiles!

I felt the same at the start each time, yet now am at 5 months going back to work in 3 weeks and now wondering whether I should keep on going, even though stopped at 6 months with DD and 5 months with DS.

Mishy1234 · 16/09/2010 19:49

I'm tandem feeding (DS1 2.5 and DS2 3 months) and have to say there are certainly 'moments' when I really dislike breastfeeding. There are times where it's been really heavy going and I've felt quite down about it.

Then the issues clear up and when things are going well again it's great and I wonder what all the fuss was about! Just to say that it's really a 'swings and roundabouts' thing for me and no, you're not alone.

singarainbow · 16/09/2010 19:53

I breasfed all mine for at least a year and hated it! I did it for them, and because it was easier, but somehow always hated the feeling of being so "tied", and they all were able to have bottles of expressed milk. I felt guilty for this, as you do, but you are still doing it, and good for you, because that shows how selfless you are!

5DollarShake · 16/09/2010 19:55

It does get better - honestly! I remember feeling like like that with DS, and then all of a sudden it got much more interactive. And much, much quicker, too. It really is worth persevering - quick, easy, rewarding and convenient - no sterilizing faff. :)

BaronessBomburst · 17/09/2010 00:31

I felt like that too and got really fed up BF - I think it was around the 4 month mark I decided I'd had enough. DS is now nearly 7 months and we've started on solids and it makes me sad to think I'll be feeding him less. I don't know what changed, or when, but I love it now. Get yourself a copy of Gabrielle Palmer's 'The Politics of Breastfeeding'. There's a thread about it. It'll certainly spur you to want to carry on, and the way it's divided into subjects means you can dip into any part of the book and read any section at anytime so don't get put off by some of the weightier bits!

nickytwotimes · 17/09/2010 07:36

Dotters, I agree that it is really tough the first 6 weeks.
Then things start to get better and one day you sit down inthe comfiest seat in the house with a coffe and the radio and your baby starts feeding and you think 'AAahh, this is so realxing and lovely'!

It is early days yet. You are doing really well.

jemjabella · 17/09/2010 08:38

Oh yes, definitely agree with Baroness - The Politics of Breastfeeding will definitely inspire you to see BFing in a new light :)

Well done you for continuing despite disliking it btw - forgot to say that yesterday. It is important and you are doing the right thing

nickytwotimes · 17/09/2010 09:49

yy, politics of breastfeeding made me want to bf more than anything else, ever.

FioFio · 17/09/2010 09:55

This reply has been deleted

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fifitot · 17/09/2010 09:56

I am on my second stint. BF D for 2 years - didn't love it or hate it but found it hard work initially then quite easy later - especially when weaned onto food and only doing about 2 short feeds a day.

Am onto 9 weeks with new DS at moment. I am finding it pretty exhausting tbh. Combination of night feeds, cluster feeding for hours in the evening and looking after DD. I also am fed up of breast pads, nursing bras, knackered tops which are stretched due to having to lift them up all the time! I am trying to get to 4 months and then will re-evaluate.

I am doing it - but only for the baby.

passionberry · 17/09/2010 10:27

Yep - I found it really hard going for the first 4 months. Was sore at times, gave me back ache, hated having to sit still for hours on end, felt self-conscious etc, etc.

Was gutted because everyone kept saying - it gets easier at 6 weeks, it gets easier at 3 months - and it never did!

It got better for me about a month ago (dd 22 weeks now) - it's really lovely when they can smile and engage with you more. Also she can pretty much latch herself on now! And I like the feeling that I can go anywhere/ do anything and always have food on tap for dd. Just got back from holiday and didn't have to worry about hydrating her in the heat - my milk was doing that job for me.

Still find frequent night feeds hard - never got the hand of feeding lying down - but overall it's got a lot, lot better.

Woodlands · 17/09/2010 10:32

i used to really hate the sensation at about that stage, but i 'm used to it now (9 weeks) and am really beginning to njoy it now. hang in there, it gets better!

have ordered the politics of breastfeeding on amazon, looking forward to reading it!

darcymum · 17/09/2010 10:37

I never liked bfeeding and I never grew to like it I wouldn't go so far as to say I disliked it though. For myself I would have preferred to be bottle feeding.

Despite this I breast feed all three of my children because I knew it was the best thing for them and I am very very glad I did, I consider it a small sacrifice. I fed them for six months, seven months and eight months and acutely wish I had continued longer. Good luck.

Petsville · 17/09/2010 15:26

I don't enjoy it either - DS is nearly 5 weeks and I'm not getting anything positive out of feeding him, even though it doesn't hurt any more. I'm carrying on because it's good for him and in some ways easier for me (can go out without worrying about bottles, formula etc), but I really dislike being permanently tied to the sofa and it's giving me back ache. It's definitely not a bonding experience for me: I think DH has bonded better with DS than I have because feeding isn't really interactive, he just plugs in and gets on with it. I might just as well be a bottle! And don't get me started on being solely responsible for the night shifts.

Again · 17/09/2010 16:49

It may take a few months. Do you think you'll enjoy bottle-feeding any more though? I think it's the lack of interaction at the start and the fact that it's just an instinct to feed rather than anything emotional to begin with.

Being a new mum is hard and brings up all kinds of emotions in us I think. Bottle feeding doesn't protect us from those though and all of these anxieties may just be the way that nature ensures that we put pressure on ourselves to try our best. I for one hated the palpations that I got in my chest in the early weeks. This is hormonal however and a call to action so that our bodies will produce more milk and we will feed the baby.

AngelDog · 17/09/2010 20:11

I find I have patches when I dislike bf but still want to do it, and then longer spells when I love it.

I did find that it gradually improved with time though. At 4 weeks I don't think I was enjoying it much.

Well done on getting this far even though it's not much fun, and congratulations on your little one. :)

Karoleann · 17/09/2010 20:16

I hate it. I actually makes me feel nauseous and can't imagine why anyone could enjoy it. I've never got the special bit either. I bf both of mine for 3 months - personally I couldn't contemplate longer. I'm pregnant with DC3 and will probably bf for 3 months again.

Saying that, its still very early days for you and you may fine you enjoy it more when little one isn't feeding so often and feeds more quickly.

NotanOtter · 19/09/2010 23:50

i am exactly the same
like you i do it for each child 10 or 12 months
ruins the baby bit for me - i wish i liked it!

PartialToACupOfMilo · 19/09/2010 23:59

It's all so true. I thought I was missing something until about 3 months and I can clearly remembering saying at the BF group I went to that I was fully prepared to continue BF for as long as dd wanted to but that I didn't understand why people thought it so wonderful. To me it was yes the best thing I could give to dd, a bonding experience and above all a convenient, cheap and healthy way to feed her. But dear God I was knackered and sometimes it felt like my whole existence centred on this small open mouth. I still feed her now (when I'm there, so w/ends and school holidays only, otherwise just morning and evening), she's 9.5 months old and I absolutely love it

NotanOtter · 20/09/2010 20:22

Karoleann - makes me feel nauseous too . Physically sick ad GRUMPY - the opposite to the hormonal high i was led to believe i would get

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