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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

PLEASE help me stop breastfeeding :(

20 replies

loopyloops · 14/09/2010 22:31

I've really had enough now. DD is nearly 15 months and feeds morning, noon (if I can't distract her) and night. Nothing I or DH does can stop this.
We've managed in the morning and afternoon sometimes, but there is just no way she will go to sleep at night without it. Even controlled crying won't work. This evening we tried BFing her before her bath, then bath, book and bed (DH doing the latter) and she wouldn't stop screaming until I fed her. She eventually went down at 10, whereas if I feed her she'll be asleep by 7.30.

She gets so upset, I'm getting so upset and simply don't know what to do. Please help. :(

ps I want to stop simply because I do. It's tiring, it's tying me down (not able to go out ever) and I'm thinking about TTC, want a break from it. Please don't try and persuade me to carry on!

OP posts:

cece · 14/09/2010 22:32

Does she drink cows milk at all?

Original poster

loopyloops · 14/09/2010 22:33

Yes, she quite likes it but won't let it replace her feeds. She's never taken a bottle but is fine with a cup.

OP posts:

Greenshadow · 14/09/2010 22:38

Been there, done that...

Takes me back - DS2 was just about to turn 2 when he finally stopped, and that was only because I decided to do an evening class and just went out and left him with DH. Can't remember now what happened on subsequent nights (he's now 15) but it was that one night when I wasn't there that broke the routine.

DS3 was even older and didn't stop until he was just 3. Doesn't get easier as they get older.

cece · 14/09/2010 22:42

I have managed to dop the daytime feeds (DS2 is also 15 mths) but I too can't get him into bed and asleep without his bedtime feed.

I think we might have to go cold turkey. Just go out and leave DH in charge.

In fact after tongiht it might be a bit easier tomorrow...

Fozsjobear · 14/09/2010 22:51

I'm just weaning ds 9months and it's been hard work as he's refused bottle for months. In the end I just offered him a bottle every day and eventually he took it. I've been doing baby whisperer pick up/ put down technique to get him to sleep without bf and it seems to (after a few really bad nights) be working now. Good luck as it's such a big change for you both x

Original poster

loopyloops · 15/09/2010 08:35

Ugh no joy with the cow's milk this morning. :(
FFS, cold turkey may be the plan. :(

OP posts:

stargirl30 · 15/09/2010 08:48

I would try dropping all feeds except the bedtime one. Don't feel you have to replace the feeds with cow's milk - if she's drinking it / having cheese or yoghurt at other times then she's still getting enough during the day. Try doing something completely different instead and she might forget.
Then in a few weeks you could try dropping the bedtime one.

I stopped feeding DD a few weeks ago when she was about 21 months. It was quite easy so I think she was ready. You sound ready to stop but I just wanted to let you know that if you can bear to wait a little longer you might find stopping a lot easier. She went from at least 2 night feeds to stopping completely within 3 weeks, I was quite shocked.

Original poster

loopyloops · 15/09/2010 09:06

So in the morning, if we just get up and giver her her breakfast instead of trying the milk feed? She likes to BF before her nap, but I can avoid that one by making sure she's had a snack and is sufficiently tired.
Thanks for your help. :)

OP posts:

stargirl30 · 15/09/2010 09:13

I think what helped me was realising that she didn't have to have a cows milk feed instead of a breastfeed.
When we stopped at night I just told her the boobies were asleep and asked her if she wanted water instead. I promised myself that I'd feed her if she cried. She was fine with it, I think I was more bothered by it than her!
Let us know how you get on today x

GormlessHeart · 15/09/2010 09:20

I am in a similar position with determined toddler, although I am quite happy to keep the pre-bed feed going. To get rid of the morning one (which we did because it was turning back into a night time one) DH just went in all bright and breezy (amazingly) and took him downstairs for breakfast, totally bypassing me and our bed (where he used to have the morning feed). No replacement, just get on with the day. He was not amused but soon settled into it, although for a couple of weeks if he saw me in bed he would remember and get grumbly. He has forgotten about it now.

For the night time one, does she feed to sleep? Or just until sleepy? Could you time it and cut it by like 2 minutes every night until it's hardly worth doing? Much tougher as it is so linked with sleep, I'm finding.

Original poster

loopyloops · 15/09/2010 09:27

Usually she either feeds to sleep or until she's drowsy, then I brush her teeth and put her to bed, but she's still drowsy and falls asleep quickly.
I think you're both right, I'm going to try and bypass the morning feed altogether. Does mean getting up earlier...
Often she'll wake at about 5 and I feed her so that she sleeps for another hour or so. What do you think I should do at this time? I'm fairly tempted to just let her cry for a bit and see if she goes back to sleep. Her monitor has a function whereby you can play a lullaby, Sometimes this will send her back to sleep, sometimes not. I'm not really up for a 5am start to the day!

OP posts:

stargirl30 · 15/09/2010 09:32

you might b able to cuddle her back to sleep. will she understand if the boobies go night nights?

Original poster

loopyloops · 15/09/2010 09:59

No, tried it, she just grabs them and screams.

OP posts:

stargirl30 · 15/09/2010 11:36

I would concentrate on dropping the day ones by distracting her. When that's settled down after maybe a couple of weeks you can think about the night ones. A little at a time will make it easier for all of you.

Original poster

loopyloops · 15/09/2010 11:55

Thank you :)

OP posts:

babymutha · 15/09/2010 12:45

DD screamed every night for about 1-2 hours for 2 months when I dropped the night feed. It was utter hell. Next time (hollow laugh) I am either going to continue feeding it until it goes to university or go and stay at my mums for a couple of nights leaving offspring with DH to go cold turkey. If she knew I was there she wanted to feed and she just screamed and screamed no matter how much cuddling, rocking, bottles etc she got (and she was talking and nearly 2!)

Anyway after giving up night feeds, stopping completely was relatively easy (had to, got v ill). That was in January, she STILL grabs nipples when she's tired or upset and frequently tries to latch on when she thinks I'm not looking.

babymutha · 15/09/2010 12:52

sorry - not helpful post above. Loopy, take the path of least resistance, and if that means going to a spa for the weekend while your DP faces the music, so be it. It will be character building and bonding for him, and a blessed relief for you. Then when you come back, go out every evening at bed time (give her a kiss and say bye bye see you in the morning) get DP to do night night until she's settled in new routine.
Blimey I'm so good in theory. Shame I couldn't take my own advice.

Original poster

loopyloops · 15/09/2010 22:13

Thanks babymutha :)

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2010 22:17

i was gong to post same as stargirl

do it gradually, so cut out morning or afternoon first. just lots of distraction, lots of going out etc etc

then the next week do the other daytime feed.

give her a week or more to settle down with just the one feed a day. then work on that one.

Original poster

loopyloops · 15/09/2010 22:28

I'll do that. Managed apart from morning and evening today. Can;t do cold turkey unless I absolutely have to.
Thanks for your help everyone. :)

OP posts:

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