Why does the thought of expressing fill me with dread?

[5DollarShake]

DD is 5 and a bit weeks old, so I'm in the thick of endless night time feeding and starting to feel the effects of sleep deprivation.

DH is on at me to express so that he can help. I should be jumping at it, but the thought of expressing fills me with dread!

I am still struggling to push DD into a 3-hour feeding routine, and so am still spending a fair amount of the day feeding her. The thought of also being strapped to an expresser does not fill me with joy. I tried it when DS was tiny and it just seemed like so much effort for so little return (knowing that the machine is nowhere near as efficient as an actual baby).

Then you've also got the hassle of storing the milk and sterilising all the equipment.

Plus, I just know I won't be able to sleep through her waking to feed, and him trying to settle her - it will just defeat the purpose.

What's wrong with me - other people obviously manage to do this with great success!?

Can anyone who does it share their experiences and let me know if it's really worth it?

Thank you! :)

I hate expressing too and only express so that I can go out - eg to leave with babysitter incase he wakes up, or if I leave him with my mum or Mil. So have little stash in freezer which is useful (eg when I went to pick my parents up from heathrow and DH called to say DS2 awake for feed earlier than expected), but no I have never managed with great success.

And yes hassle of storing/sterlising. However if you really are sleep deprived then maybe nice to go to bed at 7pm and know that your DH can do a feed at 10pm ish - but only if you can put earplugs in and sleep through this (also your breasts might have other ideas if they are used to 3/4 hourly feeding).

I don't express. I don't want to! I did when dc1 was in scbu but it's so much easier to just bf.

I don't hate it but can't be bothered with it all. Feed the baby not the pump I reckon.

Get DH to do something else that will help- like cook dinner.

i tried this and it was a waste of time!

my full boobs woke me and i had to deal with dh's sleep deprivation.

maybe other things could help - more rest, someone taking babya walk in the day and letting you nap?

also i find more feeds in the day means fewer night wakings

sympathies!

I'm with nearly everyone else - waste of time. Easier just to feed. Good to have a stash for emergencies though I guess as suggested.

Just to offer a different experience, I don't mind expressing and do so at least once per day. :)

It works for me as DD will often go for several hours between feeds in the morning, then frantically cluster feed during the evening. (Then sleep through-!)

I express in the morning while she's peaceful, then DH gives the bottle of expressed milk that evening to give my poor nipples a break for an hour!

It's very sweet seeing my DH and DD cuddled up on the sofa together. :) I know DH loves being able to feed her.

I have a 5 week old too - tried expressing but didn't like it one bit! We've decided instead just to try to give an occasional bottle of formula instead, once every couple of days, both so I can get a break sometimes and so that ds is used to bottles/formula to leave with babysitters etc. As it's occasional I don't mind the cost of buying the ready prepared cartons.

Don't do it if you don't want to! Sleep deprivation is utter horror but maybe there's another way to improve it. Your baby is so young and you know it will improve in a few weeks but in the meantime you need to get through those weeks in one piece!

I assume you're working on getting plenty of hindmilk into her during the day. Do you co sleep? If not would it work for you? We do with our 10 week old, and it works well for us. I learnt how to sleep lying down and he just helps himself. I sleep much better.

I agree that your boobs may not tolerate no night feeds and if done often it may affect your milk supply.

Sympathy :( but it will improve.

Expressing so he can "help" is a false economy IMO - you spend just as long washing, sterilising and of course expressing as you would have done feeding in the first place! Also, it can cause supply problems this early on. It can be helpful for some people, but it's not generally a good first resort.

Things he can do to help:

Change nappies, change clothes, change bedding

Make you food (from a cup of tea, to the evening meal, to making you stacks of sandwiches which you can eat during the day one-handed whilst feeding while he is at work)

Wind/settle the baby after a feed

General household tasks like washing, cleaning, washing up, etc. If you are behind on the washing could he take it ALL to the launderette and get it all done in one go so you are back to the beginning?

Look after the baby for an hour so you can sleep/get a hair cut/go for a walk etc. (Feed just before you leave, the baby will be absolutely fine for an hour or two)

Have a bath with the baby and do some baby massage afterwards - again this ought to buy you about an hour's free time to sleep, read a book, go on mumsnet... (This was my absolute favourite suggestion, actually, I made bathing DS' dad's "specific" job as breastfeeding was "my" job and he loved it, it was a really special time for them) This is also a good beginning point for a bedtime routine in the future, and Dad gets skin-to-skin time with the baby which has loads of advantages as breastfeeding does.

Take the baby for a walk in his pram or to the supermarket, again to give you some space. (And do some shopping!) Supermarkets are open 24 hours don't forget - if needs be, he would not be the only frazzled parent of a newborn wandering around at 9pm, or even 3am.

Help with night feeds by bringing the baby to you, you feed lying down and barely awake, he waits until you are finished and then does the winding and resettling in cot bit. (If not already co-sleeping, which cuts out the need for anyone to get up!)

Totally echo bertiebotts What a helpful post! Feeding lying down whilst half asleep with the baby in the crook of your arm is possibly one of the most amazingly snuggle feelings ever :)

BertieBotts post was excellent but just wanted to add that at 5 1/2 weeks you really shouldn't be forcing a tiny baby to go 3 hours between feeds. Breastfed babies just aren't designed to 'work' that way. Their tummies are tiny and breastmilk is used so very quickly, they need feeding often.

3 and 4 hourly feeds are a side effect from a generation of formula feeding. It's unrealistic to expect that at this age.

Lots of good advice here and the last three posts in particular are absolutely spot on

re: the three hourly routine - why are you struggling?

i introduced my version of a three hourly routine which meant that during the day never went longer than 3 hours from start one feed until start of next BUT would have a small gap if DS2 seemed hungry - the routine was: feed, awake time, then a sleep etc. It didn't actually matter if the cycles were shorter.

mumnwlondon some babies just get hungry quicker...Mine could never get beyond 2.30 much to my frustration as I too wished to follow EASY when I first started out. Wish I had just chilled out about it now. You can't tell a baby it's not hungry...not ime anyway!