Help! Will my premature baby ever get off the bottle and learn to breastfeed?

[Love2Dance]

My baby boy was born at 32 weeks with IUGR. Birth weight was 1.2 kg (2 lbs 6oz) so he was initially tube fed expressed breast milk. The hospital staff were very supportive of bf and we started kangaroo care etc. Then he was transferred to our local hospital where I was pushed to allow a bottle at 34 weeks. I said no (worried about nipple confusion) but eventually, like so many others, I gave in and allowed bottles as was pretty clear that the hospital was not going to support me trying to establish breastfeeding in hospital (despite me voicing my concerns about latch we were asked to do a "trial" of bf for 2 days. He lost 35g and they still discharged him).

I bfed DS 1 (now 3.5) with no problems. I am now entering my 7th week of expressing. I do it when I am supposed to as much as I can (tricky with another DC). My problem is the latch. DS is now 2kg/4lbs 6oz. He can suck, but sucks nipple. When I try to get him to latch, even if he opens his mouth wide enough, he re-positions himself or pulls back to suck so that his mouth is only open wide enough to take in the nipple and a bit of areola. It's as if he doesn't want to have his mouth open really wide, possibly because he does not have to do that with the bottle. I try to latch him on again and again but it just isn't happening.

I veer between despair that he will never get it and hope that he just needs to grow a bit more (my nipple/areola area is pretty big and he is still little). My nipples are very sore and red. Following various pieces of advice I have:

• Switched to Early Years Breastflow bottles and teats to make him work a bit and open his mouth a bit more;
• tried different positions;
• offered the breast at every feed;
• not offered the breast at every feed when it was clear this was too tiring/frustrating for him (and causing me much anxiety);
• offered the breast at the start of the feed;
• offered the breast in the middle and end as well as the start so he was not so frantically hungry and missing the target each time.

Has anyone been in this situation and managed to bf? I have seen a local bf coordinator who had helpful suggestions. Although he nearly latches at times he does not stay that way. My health visitor says it will come and not to put a time on it, but how long do I plough on with this? I am exhausted and desperate to hear any positive stories. Apologies for long post. I would appreciate hearing from anyone.

My ds was born at 34+6 and very sleepy, I wasn't feeding him directly until he was 8 or 9 weeks old?

Ask for all the support you can, practical help with the house and your other child

It was a slow transition, I dont think he latched on til week 6

Be kind to yourself, do whatever you need to get through, you can do it

I used to give an ounce, latch him on and feed, then top up

I also did biological nurturing to latch him initially, google it there are some amazing videos

All the best, congratulations, and again, take care of yourself x

I fed my son til he self weaned at 14 months

My last wasn't prem but was very ill and tube-fed but eventually I did get her to bf but it took forever, I had 2 other toddlers.

I seem to remember each feed taking an age, trying to get her to suck and keep going.

I second Chibi's answer - get as much help as you can with the rest of life so you can concentrate on the feeding.

and also, congrats!

I wonder if using a supplemental nursing system would help? See for more info

Hi there. Well firstly congrats on your DS and well done for expressing for him. I have been there and know how tough that can be.
My DD was born at 31 weeks weighing 3 lb 3. She was tube then bottle fed and we did eventually get her breast feeding. Our problem was slightly different to yours - she just refused to do anything other than stare at my boob. Or lick it if I was leaking.
We moved onto tommee tippee bottles which are quite 'boob shaped'. This seemed to give her the idea of latching on. I offered boob only once each day because she was so small and I didn't want her getting over tired.
Eventually when she was about 36 weeks gestation and 4 1/2 lb she seemed to get the idea and started feeding.

I wonder whether your wee one I'd just that little bit fired and sleepy and small and needs to grow a bit before he can feed from you. I'd suggest trying the tommee tippee bbottles and just try to go easy on yourself. You are doing a fab job and I am sure that with patience your wee one will get there eventually.

DD is now ten weeks corrected and EBF so it can be done.
HTH

As I'm sure you've guessed I mean "tired and sleepy" not "fired and sleepy"...

Thanks so much for the replies and helpful ideas, I really appreciate it. I looked at biological nurturing. What a lovely idea to try with a non-latching baby. I actually had a go but DS was a bit windy/colicky at the time so didn't really work. Not sure if the 6 week limit to that reflex applies to prem babies' actual or gestational age, but even if it's too late I am sure that nuzzling etc. on the chest/breats area must encourage the baby and I will try it again.

I do actually have the Tommeee Tippee bottles. I am on the Breastflow for now but will definitely keep the TT as an alternative.

I will also try to relax a bit more. I have decided not to try every single feed until he has the energy. I still really hope we will get there. I have been told to always offer the breast first but like Chibi I have also tried to give a bit from the bottle when he is very frantic before trying seriously with the breast. I think it does help that he is not so starving.

Thanks for the support ladies.