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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

were you bf or ff?

97 replies

foreverastudent · 12/09/2010 09:19

My Mum was always supportive of me bf (and didnt criticise for either ebf with DC1 or stopping early with DC2). I always took this attitude for granted but reading some of the bullying pressure other Mums have got for whatever choices they've made it sounds like I was vv lucky and should really thank my Mum for being well-informed and non-judgmental.

When she bf me (80s) I get the impression bf was still quite unfashionable and there was more pressure on her to ff than there is now.

So were other peole bf or ff when either was fashionable/unfashionable and has this effected how their Mums (and MILs) have supported them now?

OP posts:

hormonalmum · 12/09/2010 13:12

my dm bf me for 3 weeks, then had to go back to work mid 70's

I have tried unsuccessfully (low milk supply)to fully bf all 3 of mine. Mix fed dc1 and 2 to 5 and 7 months respectively.
dc3 - being mixed fed at 4mo.

My mum has said about each child I would never be able to keep up with their demands
It is not my fault I have always had low milk supply.

mil - Is always coy about how she fed her children. I suspect ff as she goes on about bf in a way I do not like.

Feel better, now I got that off my chest!!

EdgarAllInPink · 12/09/2010 13:16

Mum BF us (with little help from HCPs, and much tutting and comments about weight gain..) she was adopted so FF

1975 78 80 82

my youngest brother was given solids from 2 weeks s so v. hungry! All of us BF to ine year though - Mum is quite snippy bout extended BF into toddlerhood
.
DH and hs bro were also bf - Mil from strong tradition of BF. Her brother was BF until 5 as living in occupied Netherlands...

EdgarAllInPink · 12/09/2010 13:17

i should add my Mum ws v supportive of me BF my three, though annoying when i continued past a year.

My Mil was pro my BF but quite annoying about it...

ib · 12/09/2010 13:28

Bf, but on a schedule, on solids from 3 months and onto bottles at some point soon after. It was just the done thing at the time.

Mum and mil have never once commented about my feeding, one way or the other. TBH, I think they wouldn't dare.

Rightly so. I can be quite fearsome .

EmmaBemma · 12/09/2010 13:30

I was ff, (78) as was my brother (83). My mum was really supportive of me breastfeeding though.

Trillian42 · 12/09/2010 13:45

I was FF, as was my little sister (77 & 85), but my mum tried to breast feed my older brother but switched after 6 weeks to formula after mastitis & infections. She said she got no support in the hospital & that the nurses didn't even believe she had an infection despite all the symptoms! There was no such thing as maternity leave though, so it really would have been impossible for her - she was back working (though with a lighter workload temporarily) within a week of being out of hospital with me.

She is supportive of BF but kind of surprised it's still going ok at 13 weeks as most people she knows had given up by now. One poignant thing she said slightly sadly was that she didn't realise how much easier it was not to have to sterilise, mix up formula etc & wished she had known. She also commented the other day that it was amazing how my DD was thriving so well on BF alone .

Husband was FF as were all his siblings & PIL, though outwardly supportive, are just a little over eager to emphasise that this meant they could divide the load at night time, taking alternate nights to recuperate.

EauRouge · 12/09/2010 14:47

Forgot to say about DH, MIL breastfed all her children for about 2 years (DH is youngest, born in 69). That was in Canada, not sure how popular FF was there and MiL is Ukrainian anyway so probably wasn't aware of any FF culture. She has been lovely and supportive even though she is a few thousand miles away :)

jemjabella · 12/09/2010 17:04

My mum breastfed me until 5 months when she got thrush and the doctor told her to stop - she pumped until I was 8 months but "couldn't be arsed" to keep it up (her words!)

She BFed 5 out of 6 of us, so has always been pro-BF.

jemjabella · 12/09/2010 17:04

Forgot to say, I was born in '86.

just5moreminutes · 12/09/2010 18:15

I was born in 77 and my mum was advised to feed me carnation milk (yup, evaporated milk) as I have eczema.

cece · 12/09/2010 18:18

I was born in the 60 s and was FF.

Apparently my mum 'didn't make any milk'

Strangely my mil said the same thing as to why she ff my dh.

MoonUnitAlpha · 12/09/2010 18:35

I come from a family of bfers, and that definitely makes a difference to what you think of as the norm. My mum bfed her 3 til four months in the 80s, and all my aunts bfed their children in the 80s and 90s. As a child I saw lots of siblings and cousins being bfed.

Eglu · 12/09/2010 18:43

My Mum tried to BF me but I wasn't putting weight on and she was pretty much forced to give me formula. SS were actually involved because they thought she was starving me I didn't gain weight on formula much either, was pretty much a sicky baby.

With my DB my poor Mum had no confidence to even try BF. It is a real shame for her.

jandmmum · 12/09/2010 20:15

I was FF (75). I was prem and spent time in SCBU due to feeding problems and was "in a nice routine" that mum didn't want to disrupt by trying to BF. Sis FF her 2 and SIL FF her 4. I BF my DC1 for 10 months got some support from MIL who FF. Can't say my mum was either supportive or unsupportive. Think slightly disapproving of getting boobs out at any given time which wasn't altogether comfotable with myself but needs must. Am struggling with BF with DC 2 (5 weeks) discussed FF with mum and sis as currently mix feeding and both were quick to point out benefits of FF and dimiss many of BF claims.

pointythings · 12/09/2010 20:43

I was bf for about 6 weeks, my sister for about 3 - in 1968 and 1971. My mum had no help, endless trouble with mastitis and no bf culture around her at all.
The upshot of all that was that when I was pg with DD1 she tried to discourage me from bf because she felt I wouldn't be able to do it either and she didn't want me to set myself up for disappointment. I just did my own thing and bf both my girls for 13 months and my mum was completely supportive and very pleased - she too wishes she'd had the help I had with DD1 (from local midwives and HVs, amazingly enough!)

ShowOfHands · 12/09/2010 20:48

I was bf for 9 months, my brother for 12 (1980 and 1978). My Mum said I self weaned and she was distraught. Having supported me to bf dd (3.4 and still bfed), she worries that it was a nursing strike and wishes she had persevered.

MIL bfed 4 children, all for 12 months. She's supportive but doesn't know I still feed dd as she thinks post 2 years is 'weird'.

darcymum · 12/09/2010 20:52

I was ff from birth and I'm glad!

I have a very poor relationship with my mum and would hate the thought of being bf by her. I bf my three and hope they won't be repulsed by the thought of it when they're older.

poppysocks · 12/09/2010 21:54

I was ff after a few weeks of bf were put to a halt thanks to mastitis. Brother and sister (twins) were ff but that was down to the fact that they and my Mum nearly died during the birth and recovery for them all took quite some time . We are all have the constitutions of proverbial oxes though now .

DH and his DB were breastfed and MiL was v. involved in the early days of her local La Leche League.

My Dad was anti-bf, feeling that it was all a lot of fuss about nothing and that healthy babies and mum were more important. MiL was v. pro-bf but despite her general wonderfulness, her enthusiasm was an added pressure when things weren't working out well for me as I felt that she was yet another person I was letting down. Mum expressed no opinion, except in support of whichever way I was heading at any given time. It was only after I'd finished feeding DD2 that she admitted how pleased she was that I'd mastered bf in the end with DD2.

cupcake75 · 12/09/2010 22:10

I was breastfed for 6 months (1975), my brother (1976) for 1 month and my other brother (1981) for 19 months. The youngest brother she fed for that length of time as we moved to a tropical country when he was too young for the various strange vaccinations.

She apparently would have fed me longer but she had an operation and thought she was going to be in for about a week. As it turned out she was home the next day and was upset about having weaned me. My other brother she got mastitis and was advised to give up. Though apparently he didn't have a very good suck reflex.

Was very supportive of me and helped me establish breastfeeding in the first couple of weeks.

blackcurrants · 12/09/2010 22:19

Mum FF my brother (75) after being utterly unable to latch him on, with absolutely no help. She then FF my older sister (77) and me (79). My SIL, sister, and I are all BFing. SIL for around a year for each of her three, Sister for a year for both of hers, and while preg with no 3 too! I'm BFing DS (6 weeks and thriving) while I write this. Poor Mum was told she had the 'wrong kind of nipples' and as she's always hated her large breasts (self-conscious, terrible body image) I imagine it was easy for her to believe the nurses.

Mum is very pro-BF and supportive, but also doesn't really know how it works, and so expects our babies to work like FF ones. She is a bit weirded out by our feed-on-cue, co-sleeping setup. She regularly says that she worries we're all being 'too drained' or 'too tired' and means BFing, I think, but at the same time says that she wishes she'd been able to BF us and she's sad she didn't get any support. So... a mixed bag! In general, though, she's supportive.

fernie3 · 12/09/2010 22:42

As far as I understand I was breastfed at first but my mum was diabetic and was having trouble keeping her blood sugar under control and got quite ill (my brother was stillborn after she became very unwell during pregnancy - and she spent alot of her life struggling to control the diabetes). I was moved onto formula and my sister was formula fed from birth.

harverina · 12/09/2010 23:35

I was formula fed (1982). My mum says that breastfeeding was never an option - that it wasnt even mentioned . She is very supportive of me bf'ing but still has very outdated ideas. For example, she can't undertsand why my DD does not get water to drink (she is 5 months and EBF).

CakeandRoses · 13/09/2010 00:40

marking spot for a more civilised time of day (or a middle of the night bf )

maktaitai · 13/09/2010 00:58

I was ff in 1969, my mum having had a terrible time with attempting to bf my older brother, plus having her mother who had bf 5 children breathing down her neck. My MIL was told when dh was born that 'she would never feed him' and to put baby rice in his bottle on day 2, which she did.

I started bf with ds, but we were back in hospital at 4 weeks and began mixing, which led to total ff at 21 wks. I don't feel either my mother or my MIL were at all supportive of bf in more than a superficial way, but really, who can blame them?

ayjayjay · 13/09/2010 07:39

I was FF in 75. Currently EBF 9 week old DD and while mum isn't wholely condeming of feeding choice she isn't very supportive either.

The main issue is feeding on demand and she keeps trying to push me to increase the gap between feeds from 1.5/2 hours to 3/4 hours and keeps asking if I've thought about moving to FF to acheive this. This is annoying but comes mostly from concern that I'm exhausting myself and will make myself ill so I am tolerating it as it is well intentioned.

She also has issues with modesty and is forever suggesting going into feeding rooms when out when I'd be happier sitting in a cafe instead of being locked away.

Length of feeding is also an issue and shes always asking me at what age I'm going to stop despite the fact I've told her many times that i'll probably stop at 6 months or so when weaning.

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