Feel so sad and guilty for giving up

[pumperspumpkin]

Help me please. I'm hoping my emotions are just all over the place, but I'm sat here crying. I feel like I'm letting my son down by stopping feeding him. He's very nearly 14 months old. So many people on here seem to feed for ages, I feel like I should be too, that I have no good reason to stop and I'm just being selfish and a bad mummy to him. It is/was (even typing was makes me cry more) going fine, he was starting to bob from one side to the other constantly (we were down to one feed a day) for ages, as though he was just playing but if it was a game, I guess he was enjoying it. It was just getting so hard when my daughter wanted to sit on my lap too and play with me and all he wanted to do was bob from boob to boob, but was it THAT hard? Should I persevere?

I'm so worried I won't be able to cuddle him as much, I loved it being just us two and special.

Oh dear - the tears are dripping on my keyboard. Blubberypumpkin.

You are not letting him down, you have done a wonderful thing in feeding him for so long :)

You will still have lots of snuggles and cuddles you'll see. It is pretty common I believe to have a bit of a rock bottom hormonal come down when you stop feeding so keep that in mind, enjoy your children and know that you are amazing.

Oh bless you! You've done brilliantly. If you're ready to stop, then that's fine.

FWIW - dd stopped at about 13 months. DS1 at 12 months. DD was coaxed. DS1 was self-motivated to some extent (looking back think was a nursing strike, with hindsight).

You're probably feeling hormonal - I think stopping feeding has an emotional and physical impact, particularly if you are unsure about your decision. But you will definitely still have cuddles with him. Definitely.

I do feel for you.

Thank you both. I thought I was (ready) but feeling like this makes me doubt it. I really hope it's just hormones. My husband just doesn't get it.

My daughter was early and I spent three weeks exclusively expressing whilst she was in hospital, I felt like the one thing I could do for her was that and then it was so hard to get her feeding and we did it, I was so pleased - then with my son we did it, we got through the agony, it's been going so well - when I've doubted myself it's always been the one thing I could do and tell myself I was being a good mother, and now that's gone.

You've done really well to do it this long. I felt a bit sad when I stopped too and still miss it sometimes.
Have lots of cuddles with both of your kids - and tell yourself that you are still a good mum, bf or not.

Oh please don't feel bad.

There is something extra special about being cuddled without them reaching inside your top - like they're cuddling you rather than your boob.

Have you actually stopped or are you just thinking about it?

Last feed was on Monday morning. I work Tues-Thurs and we were running late on Tuesday (and he's been taking ages) so it seemed the natural opportunity to drop it and see how it went. My husband has been getting him up so he doesn't stretch out his arms for me and my boobs so I think that's part of it, I don't feel like I've seen him as much.

I remember it well.

You do need to decide tonight though what you are going to do tomorrow. DD1 stopped at 13 months - she refused first then I avoided the siutations where she would ask (sitting on the sofa for example) and before I knew it we'd stopped. I was ready though so maybe that's where the difference lies - you need to decide if you are ready.

If you do decide to stop then you'll get him back, honest

you know what breastfeeding is great and really important for little babies etc etc etc.... but you have to stop when it feels right for YOU as well as baby!

If he is bobbing around between the two my guess would be that he doesn't need the milk, he's just having a drink and play?

If its any consolation with my too I fed to 10 days with DC1 and 6 and a bit months with DC2 - he was a biter little fecker

You've done so well - in a strange way I think when we've 'managed' to breastfeed for so long it can feel awful to contemplate stopping - as if you've got through so many hard times, and yet you're contemplating stopping doing something that is relatively easy...and that your child loves... BUT it's never completely easy is it?

Even now (at 19 months) with my DD I have moments when I just want to scream 'GET OFF ME' - a far cry from the earth mother style attitude I think we sometimes think we should have as longer-term breastfeeders. My DD now has a new habit of going onto one boob for a couple of seconds, then asking 'other?' and after a couple more seconds back to the first boob, and so on, ad nauseum, I guess a bit like your DS is doing Once again I'm thinking of stopping - Ultimately I don't know when we will stop, or how; but to get back to your OP I think you know what it is you want to do - there are costs and benefits to both courses of action, and I know neither will feel like the perfect solution at the time.

Anyway, I'm rambling - effects of the mid-week pint I guess I just wanted to say I think I can understand some of what you're feeling - you're not alone!

I mean something that is now relatively easy, of course, compared to the early days/weeks/months

Despite the collection of full term breastfeeders on here, you are part of a very small minority. You should be proud that you've done so well! :)