Need to give up BFing. Please help!

[tummytickler]

Hi
I am still breast feeding ds. He has just turned 3 years and starts school next year.
I am pregnant and exhausted, and have horribly sore boobs. Ds still likes to wake once or twice during the night for bf , and I am so, so, so tired.
He is happy to go without at nursery, or if I am out, or he is staying at Grandmas. He will drink from a beaker or mug no problem.
We went out to buy him a new special beaker, for night time drinks. This did not work, and a night of screaming ensued until I was so exhauted I gave in and fed him to get some sleep.
HV suggested I go away on my own for a week . Yeah, right.

Please help me - it is slowly killing me, I feel so grim all the time, if I could just knock the bfing on the head at least that might make a bit of difference to how i am feeling.
Sorry - I sound like a real heartless cow, but i am not, i am just exhausted.

might make soem

ooops - sorry, a bit of weirdness on the end there

You have my total sympathy. DD is almost 2 and still feeds loads. My Mum suggested the same thing, that I go away for 'at least 4 days' and hey presto when I return DD will be off it .

I have no practical advice I'm afraid. I've tried flat out saying no (but I always give in after the ensuing crying/physical wrestling). I've tried telling her she's a big girl and doesn't need booby any more. I've tried distracting her. I've tried telling her Mummy's boobies are broken . Nothing works.

I had no definite cut off point for bf. I naively believed that she would self wean between 1 and 2 but I'm beginning to think it's an urban myth .

You're not heartless. I completely understand and wish I knew the answer .

You've given your ds such a brilliant start to life, please don't feel guilty at all.

It's completely understandable that you're ready to stop bf.
When i weaned ds off bf he was old enough to understand that it hurt to bf at night (i was also pregnant), i told him so, i started cutting the feeds short and explaining the pain, and after several nights he agreed there were no more night feeds.
A little later on, to stop the day feeds, i used a trick given to me by my midwife, and put a squeeze of lemon on my nipples in the morning. He disliked the taste and wouldn't feed. He had a yoghurt instead. He tried again later and the same thing happened.
I hope this helps. Stay strong and sane for you and your ds and in good health for your next lo. And Congrats!

Bunny I too thought that somehow we would just stop bfing, but here we are and he is as keen as ever!
saucetastic - how did your ds sleep when you told him that bfing hurt and night feeds had to stop. Did he still wake up and try for a while, how did he react when you said no? The lemon is a idea. I don't know if i could do it, it feels a bit mean. But i think I may just bite the bullet, stock up on yogurts and try! he is at nursery tomorrow and Wednesday and staying with my parents over night tomorrow night, so maybe when he gets back.
It makes me feel a bit :( to do it though.

Do you have a DP? The only way I managed to stop night feeds was to get DH to do the nights (not feed, just cuddle) for a month to break the habit. DS was younger than yours though - I think if I was doing that now I would spend a few nights somewhere else. I wouldn't try to do it all at once - cut the night feeds out first because they are the hardest to distract away from.

DS is 2 and still feeding night and morning - not quite sure when I am going to stop so feel free to ignore as I have not been in your shoes yet!

I do have a dh, but he is not really in a position to get up at night and help. He works long hours, sleeps really deeply (I cannot wake him up) and does not want to if only i had that choice.
Might try talking to him again if i really have no joy though.

Leaving your DS for a few days is a good idea. That's what some tribes do.... Do you have someone e.g. your mum who could help take care of your DS while you go on holiday?

To be honest, i can't remember too well, even though it wasn't that long ago. There were a couple of nights where he was crying for a while (not excessively long tho) and i held him till he fell asleep. Then through the night he would wake up, discover that there was nothing on offer, whine a little, but was too tired so fell back asleep. I can't begin to tell you what a joy it was the night he first slept through. Though after 2 or more years of not sleeping through myself, I've yet to get back into my own sleep pattern.
I thought the lemon thing was a little mean also, but it paid off when it seemed to be his decision to stop. And the relief was truly immense.

Tummytickler my dh was also aghast at the suggestion that he would have to settle ds in order for night weaning to work. He is a reasonable bloke but v heavy sleeper and totally refused to accept that this was even an option.