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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Urgent help- anyone in St Albans area?

24 replies

wakeupeverybody · 02/09/2010 10:27

I wonder if any of you are in St Albans (or Herts in general) and able to recommend any good breastfeeding counsellors or places my sister could go to get some help?
She gave birth last Thursday evening and was discharged on Saturday having not really got feeding well established- baby was soo sleepy that she didn't really attempt to latch on. They managed with syringing etc, but had really poor advice and so by the time I visited on Monday, my niece was really dehydrated and a little yellow. She ended up readmitted for help with feeding- and my sister coped by expressing and giving a bottle as well as trying feeding.
They were discharged within 24 hours but the midwife didn't come yesterday and she is still really struggling. Supply is good, baby is attempting to latch etc, but she just needs someone to help advise/encourage and help her get through this, and to help her avoid having to express and give top ups.

She says she has some details of tel no.s of NCT etc but I wondered if any one could recommend anyone or whether there are drop in places that you can recommend. She is soo tired that she can't really think straight to get herself organised to phone someone. She is desperate to continue to breastfeed. I have bf my two so have recent experience but she needs someone sensible to see her locally . They are prepared to drive some distance if needed

Thanks in advance

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
Original poster
wakeupeverybody · 02/09/2010 10:27

whoops didn't preview
Clearly I am very grateful!

OP posts:
misdee · 02/09/2010 10:33

i am in wgc. i know there is a breastfeeding clinic here at the oak tree childrens centre on monday mornings i think.

hobbgoblin · 02/09/2010 10:36

Don't know about local BF counsellors but if she wants a friendly bit of support from a BF mother of 4 and parenting support worker (me) then I'd pop in as am in St Albans.

Offer there if wanted. :)

browneyesblue · 02/09/2010 10:58

There is a drop-in breastfeeding support group (with health visitor) in Hatfield on Friday. It's at the Queensway Health Clinic in Hatfield town centre from 1pm - 2pm. It's followed by a Bumps and Bundles group (2pm to 4pm) that I and some other mums who breastfeed go to, if she would like some informal advice/general support. There are normally peer bf counsellors at both groups too.

I can't think of any groups running today though :(

Let me know if she'd like me to meet her there for moral support - I'll be going to the later group anyway and don't mind going a bit early if it will help :)

MumNWLondon · 02/09/2010 12:28

my SIL and Brother just had similar with their baby last week. They found out about a weekly breastfeeding clinic (edgware) - worth pushing hospital / HV / midwife for what is available. They have hired hospital grade breast pump and are offering top ups after each feed, but hope to drop these soon.

Original poster
wakeupeverybody · 02/09/2010 13:14

Thank you for all your replies!
I will let her know, especially about that group on Friday. And thanks for the kind offers hobbgoblin and browneyesblue.

Her midwife has just been and told her to feed 10 mins on each side and then offer a top up, which I am a little (make that alot) Hmm and Confused about, but she is happier with a plan. (and has told my mum she doesn't want any more advice as too confused Sad.) It is horrible at the beginning when you get so much different advice at the start. She needs to sleep so she can think straight. I'm going to gently suggest she tries to feed for a little longer if baby is keen.

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 02/09/2010 13:37

can she just snuggle in bed with baby?

Original poster
wakeupeverybody · 02/09/2010 13:59

That's what I've suggested hobbgoblin. I'm now in danger of giving too much advice- I'm worried she will start to beat herself up (if things don't work out) about the fact that I did manage to bf (not without lots of problems to start with)... (tis hard being an older sister!).

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 02/09/2010 14:13

I reckon just agree about no more advice and say tune out and tune in ,i.e. tune out the many words of wisdom and tune in to baby. Have lots of nice snacks and drinks brought to her between snoozy moments and forget all except baby snuggles. That's what you're saing isn't it...you just have to make it sound non-advicey!!! Best wishes to her and you the new auntie. :)

MumNWLondon · 02/09/2010 14:19

Am v surprised by the 10 mins on each side - my SIL and brother who also got readmitted with dehydrated baby last week went to specialist breastfeeding clinic (in Edgware community hospital) and were told that she needs 30 mins on each side, and if she has less than 60 mins in total to offer bottle of EBM as top up.

SIL finding that provided baby feeds for 40-50 mins she's refusing the top up (or drinking it and then puking it).

I agree though that finding a group for her best. Worth also pursuing the hospital to see if there is one like the one offered at Edgware.

AngelDog · 02/09/2010 14:47

If she does get to the stage of wanting more advice:

There's a bf cafe in St Albans at the St Albans Children's Centre in Church Crescent on Wednesdays 10.30-12.30. It's run by two alternating HVs. I went twice: one HV was great, one was useless.

There were some trainee NCT bf counsellors there too who were helpful. There is an NCT bf counsellor in St Albans (there was 6 months ago at least), so it might be worth ringing the NCT to find out if she gets to the stage where she wants more help.

But it sounds as if the quality of HCP input has been rubbish. I had hardly any help on the postnatal ward at the QE2 in Welwyn, but the community midwives in St Albans were great. Mind you, I didn't have any particular problems apart from latch adjustment.

tiktok · 02/09/2010 15:00

I was going to post and say she really needs to see a midwife - but it's very disappointing that the one they have seen has given such very poor advice. 10 mins a side followed by a top of formula is very likely to be the death of breastfeeding. I can't think of any bf situation where this would be appropriate :(

She has already been let down by the hospital - both times - and then left unvisited after discharge. It's shockingly bad. And she's been left under-confident and upset, dreading any more conflicting advice.

When the dust settles, perhaps you can encourage her to write and complain.

tiktok · 02/09/2010 15:02

Oh - and she doesn't have to feed longer than 10 mins a side. The baby can have less time than this, and on one side only, if this is what the baby seems to want. Frequent, responsive, effective feeding.....without timings....is the way to go. Top ups only if medically necessary.

Original poster
wakeupeverybody · 02/09/2010 20:34

Thanks for your messages. I totally agree that the advice and care has been absolutely terrible. I am so Angry on her behalf- it is amazing that she has continued- what I didn't mention in my first message was that she was seen the day after her first discharge- when her milk hadn't come in- and when she said that feeding wasn't great, was left with some 1 ml syringes and told that the MW would come back 3 days later Shock giving her no indication at all that once her milk was in, she needed to feed more than 1ml at a time Sad

I totally agree re 10 mins each side strict rule is (at best) not helpful. The top ups are of expressed milk not formula though- so I am hoping that is better for her longterm hopes for breastfeeding. I think the midwife was trying to help as she is so tired and last night spent 1.5 hours feeding at a time (every 3 hours)- clearly something not right- so maybe telling her to restrict how long she is trying was helpful? I know that with my first we had a similar poor start to feeding (although I never had to do the top ups) and feeds did take up to 1.5 hours (including nappy changes etc to wake her). But the expressing will take time, so surely it would be better to just be breastfeeding! ARGH

I will encourage her to call the NCT counsellor. Just have to be very careful not to add to the conflicting advice she is getting, and phrase it all in the right way.

OP posts:
browneyesblue · 02/09/2010 22:22

There is a list of local breastfeeding support groups here

It seems up to date, but there are phone numbers if she needs to check. It may be worth printing out. Even if your sister doesn't need it now, she may find it useful in the future.

I can remember how hard it is in the very early days, so I really hope she manages to get a bit of rest :)

Original poster
wakeupeverybody · 02/09/2010 22:34

Thank you browneyesblue- that is brilliant.

She managed to get 2 naps in today so when I spoke to her she was feeling a bit better. She has promised to call the NCT lady tomorrow morning, and also has a friend of a friend coming tomorrow who is/was a midwife. Fingers crossed they will give sensible advice. Her own midwife is coming on Saturday. I've pointed her in the direction of the Jack Newman video clips on line as I suddenly remembered that I found them helpful in the early stages.

I'm just hoping for her, that her DD will not get so used to bottles that she refuses the breast- but it is important that she doesn't get as dehydrated as she did at the weekend, so I guess top ups are necessary until she can feed efficiently.

OP posts:
reallytired · 02/09/2010 23:01

Hemel Hempstead hospital have a drop in on Saturday and Sunday morning for help with breastfeeding. This is run by midwives.

There is an nhs breastfeeding group run by health visitors on Thursday afternoon in South Hill Centre, Cemetery Hill, Hemel hempstead, 1.30 to 3pm

Or contact La Leche League

randomchance · 03/09/2010 21:59

There was a breastfeeding specialist in St Albans when I had my little boy 18 months ago who was really nice and helpful so worth asking the midwives if she is still around - the normal midwives weren't all that much help with that side of things.

Definitely worth calling the NCT though, the HV is St Albans are politely described as understaffed.....meaning they have a set number of responses designed to get rid of you as quickly as possible. Any queries about breastfeeding result in being told to give formula top ups and then wean to solids at 17 weeks.

sonia77 · 03/09/2010 22:14

there is a harpenden group meet on a monday i thought at the oval in the clock building that is supposed to be good. im in st albans if she wants some mummy company my little one is 4 1/2 months now and have persevered , its sooooooooooooo hard!! would love to help if i can. little and often is fine at the beginning. google kellymom i think is a site which can help

AngelDog · 04/09/2010 09:21

Ah, yes, should have thought of the Harpenden group - they're really helpful and friendly. They have a sling library too which is great. That saved my sanity with DS! Website here.

I saw a nursery nurse called Melanie Wedd who worked with the community midwife team & gave advice on bf. I don't know how knowlegeable she was as I didn't have any particularly bad problems, but all the advice I was given was in line with the NHS / WHO recommendations which is a start, and she was good at helping me sort the latch / feed lying down etc.

Original poster
wakeupeverybody · 05/09/2010 22:07

Well, she seems to have turned a corner and is still breastfeeding- well done her! Still doing the top ups but has had some sleep and sounds/feels more human, so hopefull can tackle weaning them out at some point. She has a nursery nurse coming to see her this week- so maybe that is the same person as you saw AngelDog?

I'm going to recommend that Harpenden group as well, tomorrow she has the HV coming (and I will warn her about the quality of their advice Hmm

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to post- she is really grateful to the kindness of strangers for all your ideas.

OP posts:
reallytired · 05/09/2010 22:31

We done to your sister.

browneyesblue · 05/09/2010 22:35

That's great news :)

It makes a real difference when you get a bit of rest - even if it is just a nap here and there.

I think the best advice any new mother can have is to trust in her own instincts - she shouldn't be afraid to ignore any advice that doesn't suit her and/or her DD! It can be overwhelming (and not just in the very early days!), but with a bit of support and sleep, things do start to seem much clearer.

She's lucky to have such a caring sister :)

AngelDog · 06/09/2010 13:05

That's great! :) It does sound as if it's the same nursery nurse, wakeup - can't be that many of them working with midwife teams. I found her very helpful, so hopefully she'll be able to give some good advice.

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