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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

I feel shit today

8 replies

Mookymoo · 29/08/2010 23:18

My 7 week old is feeding like a maniac and is colicy. We were supposed to go out today and I expressed because we were meeting a group of friends and I didn't feel like 'whapping them out' and my DH knocked over the bottle in the fridge spilling it all, and didn't notice until we were just stepping outside the door. Then he got impatient when I said I didn't want to go - I was upset as it takes organisation and my DD was in the pram and screaming by then- and said why not just express some more. I just couldn't as I feel as though I might as well walk around top less as it is, feel like everyone expects my breasts to be public property, I know that sounds weird. I don't feel like I have anything left of myself any more but also get anxious in certain situations with my daughter (feeling extremely over protective, have been to a couple of family events where people I don't know have ended up holding her after I've passed her to a relative and it really freaks me out) and feel I can't be apart from her.
Have felt fine since the birth but today I feel a bit like I'm losing the plot, and no-one told me about all the maternal guilt I would feel over everything I could possibly doing wrong.
Is this normal? If anyone can give advice I would so appreciate it as I just feel like sobbing my heart out.

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LeoniPoni · 29/08/2010 23:40

Oh Mookymoo Sad I feel for you!

DS is 8 weeks old and I've had a few days where I've felt just like you. I've had a good cry, binged on cake and demanded DF tell me what a fantastic job I'm doing Grin

When the madness has passed I've just put it down to tiredness, hormones and adjusting to bbeing a mummy and responsible for such a precious little life.

It's scary isn't it, loving someone so much? And learning to let go of them enough to allow others to hold them and bond with them is tough, but we do it because deep down we know that they need to learn to enjoy being with other people.

About the breastfeeding...I'm afraid I'm still learning too! No practical advice really. Some days I feel like a milk machine and people are expecting me, my DS and my breasts to fit in with their schedule. It's irritating and has upset me a few times but in the long run bf is what I want for us so I just have to put up and shut up really!

What I have found has helped though is to resist the urge to sit around topless at home while feeding DS and practice feeding so that nothing is seen of my ugly floppy boobs and my tigerbread, flabby tummy. I feel confident enough now that nothing can be seen by anyone when feeding in public. It means I'm not stuck in and if I haven't expressed enough to take out with me can just do it myself.

I really hope you feel better soon Mooky. It's a lot to adjust to isn't it? Being a mum. We will though! Grin

Mookymoo · 30/08/2010 00:08

Oh you sound so nice and I sound like such a basket case!
I didn't realise how panicy I would feel about strangers holding her, I don't have anything against it but it makes me feel sick with anxiety when it happens.
I should be grateful because we haven't had any problems with breastfeeding and the occasions I've been caught short I can do it out and about and I don't mind if I'm with the other mums and parents I know and family. But I don't always have the right things to wear to let me do it discreetly and have days when I feel less confident so I like to use expressed milk in a bottle then.
I just hate it when other people have these expectations and think you're happy to sit in a pub garden on a bench and do it at the drop of a hat!
God I sound so oppressed and neurotic but I'm really not, which just compounds my feelings of losing myself

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LeoniPoni · 30/08/2010 00:47

Ah give yourself a break! It's only been 7 weeks! You don't sound like a basket case or oppressed!

Don't worry about losing yourself, everyone who has breastfed that I have spoken to has said how at times they felt like public property and just wanted to have their body back. I just think we have to remember that its not forever and it's another aspect of 'us' another brilliant ability!

I may put it on my CV!

jetgirl · 30/08/2010 01:07

It's not surprising to feel anxious about strangers holding your baby - it sounds like you're a loving protective mother. She is the most precious thing in your life and you spent 9 months growing her inside you.
And whoever came up with 'it's no use crying over spilt milk' had clearly never dropped a bottle of expressed breastmilk! Probably a man [grin!]

MoonFaceMama · 30/08/2010 07:23

mookymoo, i just want to remind you what a fantastic thing you are doing.

It's awful isn't it, that post birth bit when there's loads of tmi questions and much revealing of body parts that aren't often revealed, and all that when you've taken a physical and emotional battering, not slept properly for months (what with late pg bladder etc) and are awash with hormones.

But just remember this is all because you have done the most wonderful thing. You have created a new life. It may seem like a tiny baby at the moment, but really it's a proper human in disguise! Grin

And not only have you created this being from scratch (bar a few measly chromesones), grown it within you from a few cell to a viable baby and birthed them in to this big crazy wonderful world, but now you are sustaining and nurturing it with the best food that their possibly is for it, produced by your own body.

Amaizing isn't it! So if you don't feel like going out don't! If you don't feel like feeding in public, don't! If you don't feel like hiding your tears, don't!

It's early days, be kind to your self.

I know what you mean about not having anything left of yourself. I think in part this is because having a baby changes you, so it maybe hard to recognise your self. But you are there, stronger than ever, and, remember, doing a wonderful thing.

Sorry no practical advice, but it will get better. Smile

Mookymoo · 30/08/2010 10:20

Thanks so much for your lovely words everyone. I'm feeling better for it being a new day, and I WILL be going out today (lovely but clumsy DH is back at work! he's probably grateful to be out of my way!)
I guess it's all too easy to think that the hormones have settled down, when in reality they're probably still all over the shop and not contributing in a good way to the new mother experience!
It never ceases to amaze me how warm and supportive people on here can be in reaching out to other, so thank you very much

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fifitot · 30/08/2010 10:30

Glad you are feeling better. I am feeling a bit blergh myself today. DS is 7 weeks too. I am fed up of the evening cluster feeds that see me sat on the sofa from 5-10 every night, fed up that one boob is consistently larger than the other no matter what I do, fed up that DS is sucking the very fat off my bones! (Am naturally skinny and at the moment look terrible - I have no bum!). I also have a bit of a prolapse in my vagina and feel about 150!

So - you are not alone!

BTW - If I am out and about and don't feel like getting them out - I feed in the car and have a cushion in there just for that purpose. It means I can listen to the radio at the same time too.

Mookymoo · 30/08/2010 10:46

I can totally understand how you feel, I lost sensation in my bladder for the first couple of weeks, making me incontinent so I felt about 150 too but it was certainly a big motivation for pelvic floor exercises! And am constantly lop sided now matter what I do.
I hope things get better for you too. I've sat in the car a few times, fretting about traffic wardens once as her feeding took me over the time on my ticket!
She is worth all of it though :)

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