Considering trying DS with a dummy <wince>

[QueenOfFlamingEverything]

I never thought I would consider it.

But.

DS is 17 days old and has a tongue tie. Local policy is an arse such that its going to be ages and a lot of faff before we can get it divided (have another thread running on that).

He is managing to feed quite well - we had some problems but these are much better after some good advice from my midwife, he is weeing/pooing plenty, alert, settles ok between feeds, and my nipples are not too sore. No idea if he is putting on weight as he still hasn't been weighed but I'm pretty sure he is growing.

So far, so good, but he is simply not able to comfort suck at all. Once he is done actively feeding and gets sleepy he loses his latch and cannot regain it, and he gets very frustrated. This is worst at night and it can take us well over an hour to calm him down and settle him to sleep, sometimes several times a night. He wants to suckle, he tries so hard and bangs his head against me and roots and flails his little arms and scrabbles at my breast and its very distressing for both of us . Sucking on my finger can calm him, but its a bit awkward when I am trying to sleep as well!

Now I am quite happy for my babies to feed as much as they like, and would love to have him feed for comfort if thats what he needs. But as he has so much trouble doing that, I am thinking about trying a dummy just for those times when he is unable to latch and getting frantic. I don't want to do it, but I hate to see DS so distressed. I realise babies with TT may well not be able to take a dummy either btw. But would it do any harm to try? I would feed him absolutely whenever he would feed, it would only be for when he was too tired to stay latched on.

I'd say try it. After masses of soul searching (and a thread on here!) we tried ds on one. He spat it out again and I thought: after ALL THAT!

he'll take one now and then, but I was so worried about nipple confusion, nipple preference - nah, he'd rather have boob, thanks. Sometimes DH can use it to soothe him and get him off to sleep when we KNOW he's not hungry and I've got to go out. (DS is 4 weeks old and v. 'sucky'). . . so I'd say try it. I don't think it will harm BFing if you feel like it's going well, and as long as you're not using it rather than feed on demand, I doubt it will cause your son any problems.

I may be v. wrong, but I'd say try it! Your DS may surprise you and be disgusted with the very idea! :)
Good luck!

Second opinion for the tongue tie? DH was told dc3 had something wrong with his tongue and I fretted and turned out he was fine.

WRT the dummy, go with it. I wish I had with dc1 as he still sucks his thumb now and will need a brace imo. My other children had dummies and while they loved them I took them away at 6 months and now have perfect teeth and don't suck their thumbs.

Well I just tried it and DS was not impressed.

He's now screaming on my shoulder trying to get his hand to stay in his mouth.

oh that's such a shame, i was reading the first three posts and was gonna say go with it just like those above, but then got to your last post where you obviously just did give it a go and it didn't work....

i never wanted to use a dummy, hated them, but then i ended up with a sucky baby and within just a few days we gave him one and he loved it. and i genuinely believe it helped him with his latch and with feeding.

it's worth checking out with a breastfeeding counsellor why he can't latch on once he's come off. my sister was amongst the many wonderful people who helped me with feeding, and one thing she taught me is that when DS comes off mid feed he may have difficulty latching on again becuase the breast and his mouth are both wet making it slippery. so i started to wipe my breast and his mouth with a muslin if he came off mid feed and it's amazing the difference it made. seriously.

you just don't get little tips like that from the midwives/HVs.

My DS couldn't hold a dummy but is a sucky baby, I was advised by hospital to try an old fashioned cheery tip dummy (helped him with relex pain). At 12 weeks he still can't hold an orthodontic dummy but LOVES his cherry tips. Boots essentials do some good ones. I never planned to give him one either, but it makes him so happy I've let him keep it even though meds have helped with the stomach pain.

I gave all mine dummies early on

It was either that or my nipples fall off

All were/are excBF for first 5-6m

Ds had his first tooth at 3 weeks so v happy for him to suck/chew a dummy since I can't give him much else. He only really likes the cherry soothers, not the ortho ones.

I dont know anything about the toungue tie so sorry if this wont work at all but none of mine would take the dummy very well including my current littlest (who is now coming up to 4 weeks old). I put a little bit of milk on the end just so that they would keep it in for a few seconds and once it was in it was normally stuck for a while - dont know if that is just my children or if it might be worth a try for you!

My first son loved his dummy, but the next two refused them. They were both great fist chompers (for DS3 practically every photo of him in the first few months shows him with his fist in his mouth!) and it seemed to sooth them and didn't interfere with the breastfeeds. They both grew out of it once they worked out how to do other things with their hands.

my little girl is 12 weeks old and has a dummy from time to time( I also wince, and somehow still hate the idea- im a dentist!); and has since 4 weeks. she is really sucky; but now is starting to pull the dummy out and stick her fingers and thumb in instead.
( yay) I have kind of got over the whole 'chav 3year old with a dummy' ishoo- and now think' why make life a misery for myself?'

The other reason I thought to reply to this threat; is that She had a profound tongue tie; and we had it snipped without LOCAL or general at day 6. There is a brilliant woman (DR lawson) at the RVI in Newcastle who does them every week and has NO waiting list apparently ( hence why we got in so quickly) our midwife faxed a referral at day 5.
With the patient choice charter thingumy it may be worth asking to be referred to a different PCT- and if you arent too far do try Newcastle. I believe she is the only person who does it in the North without a General Aeaesthetic.

Give me an email if I can help. xx