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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Urgent helped need re breastfed baby in SCBU

38 replies

PuzzleRocks · 26/08/2010 19:11

Apologies for not searching the archives first. And for any mistakes I may make. I am rushing this.

My SIL had a baby three days ago by emergency cs. He was five weeks prem. She has initiated breastfeeding although he has also been given some formula by staff.

My brother has just called me and tells me she is dreadfully upset. The ward staff have told her that she must go home. They cannot acommodate her any longer. She has not expressed sufficient milk to leave. And even if she had she does not want to be separated from her DS.

I am possibly clutching at straws but does anybody know what her rights are. Can they force a breastfeeding mother to be separated from her child?

Any advice will be gratefully received. I want to help her but don't quite know how. And am too far away to be there physically for support.

Thanks.

OP posts:
CharlotteACavatica · 26/08/2010 19:16

Hello PR, is this in the UK?

happyland · 26/08/2010 19:18

She should be able to stay. What hospital is it? My ds was in for two months and i stayed the whole time to breast feed on demand. they would ring the ward at night etc whenever he woke. I used the hospital pumps too initially so he could be tube fed ebm rather than formula. No one could have made me, nor did they ask me, to leave. I was made to feel quite welcome, although maybe there was not so much pressure on beds?

If she has to leave could she borrow the expressing machines and freeze it. In the scbu we were in there was a freezer that you deposited all your named and dated ebm for the staff to use?

happyland · 26/08/2010 19:19

Just to add, I did ask my consultant not just the ward staff, early on, whether I could stay with him. SO they knew my plans. Also we did live about 40 mins away.

Original poster
PuzzleRocks · 26/08/2010 19:19

Thanks for replying.
It's Cheltenham General Hospital.

OP posts:
traceybath · 26/08/2010 19:19

I had ds2 at 37 weeks and he spent a week in NICU or just over.

I went home on day 3.

The nicu should be able to give her a decent expressing machine, containers for storing the milk in and a steriliser.

I then set my alarm and got up and expressed every 3 hours and each morning took my expressed milk in in a cool bag.

They will definitely facilitate bf.

I then went back in for 48 hours and stayed in a little flat within the hospital with ds to get bf established.

Good luck to your sil.

deemented · 26/08/2010 19:22

So they are discharging her from the postnatal ward?

She should be able to stay at the NICU as much as possible, and NICU should be able to supply her with a breastpump to take home with her. There should also be provision in NICU for her to pump - a little room somewhere, or blinds she could put around her.

If milk supply is an issue the NICU doctors could prescribe her with domperidome to increase it - or there's always the possibility of a milkbank if theres one in your area?

stripeyknickersspottysocks · 26/08/2010 19:26

We have this problem where I work. There are 40 beds on the p/n ward and we're often at bed crisis state. We can't keep women on the ward if they themselves are not needing care.

SCBU have 4 parents' rooms but there are normally more than 4 babies on SCBU.

skintbint · 26/08/2010 19:26

i stayed in a room outside the ward for a week, and then went home (had two toddlers as well) but expressed and stored in the scbu freezer. (like tracy - i set my alrm for every 4 hours - dd2 was bigger - and expressed, and delivered every morning)

before dd2 was discharged they offered me the option of staying in the scbu rooms for 48 - 72 hours to make sure bf was established, but after 5 weeks all i wanted to do was take her home tbh.

Original poster
PuzzleRocks · 26/08/2010 19:27

Yes from post-natal.

Thank you very much. I will pass on your messages.

OP posts:
CharlotteACavatica · 26/08/2010 19:33

Ok i just spoke to my mum who used to be a nurse for what its worth and she said there is no way she should be seperated ESP if she is breastfeeding, she needs someone there to support her asap if shes not ready to speak up herself, how about your brother? You must feel bad not being able to be there, but you can still help her, bless her, theres no way she should be asked to leave! She needs to find out why they cant accomodate her?

HairyMaclary · 26/08/2010 19:36

Just to reiterate what the others have said, I left after 5 days, DS was born 11 weeks prem. I pumped every 2 hours during the day and every 4 hours at night and left it in the freezer at the NICU. I built up a supply over the weeks we were there.

DS was too little to bf initially but he had only bm through his nasogastric tube. I spent all day in the ward, bf when he got bigger and expressing, kangaroo care at other times. I often came back in the evening too. Just before we were discharged we spent 48 hours in a room getting it all established 24 hours a day.

The baby will not need much bm for the first few days, if she can express before she leaves it may be enough for the night and she can come back first thing, she should have open access, to feed him.

Leaving hospital without your baby is very, very hard, she has my sympathy.

traceybath · 26/08/2010 19:36

Charlotte - I suspect they just won't have the beds - that was certainly true in my case.

But you can be in the NICU for hours and hours each day.

I used to turn up early and leave late.

But she should be able to get bf established - I did and went onto bf ds2 for a year.

CharlotteACavatica · 26/08/2010 19:42

To be fair ive not had any exp of having a baby in scbu, so my opinions are based on what this poor girl 'should' be able to do, and as my mum has said she was nursing many many years ago, but id have thought when trying to establish breastfeeding any separation is bad!! Id be cross that the nurses had given her ds formula (although again my inexperience with any prem care is non existent) I suppose lack of bed space is hard but how can anyone excuse separating this lady from her tiny baby, surely there must be something they can do!??

traceybath · 26/08/2010 19:49

Charlotte - Its really hard. Having to leave your baby in hospital is incredibly difficult but if there aren't the beds - then thats what has to happen unfortunately.

But you can get bf established - I suspect her baby is probably being fed by nasogastric tube as Hairy said.

I know with my baby formula was discussed but he had sugar water or something like that for the first couple of days then the colustrum I'd hand expressed and finally my milk.

CharlotteACavatica · 26/08/2010 20:03

Fair enough i suppose, i just know i couldnt and wouldnt be separated, easy for me to say i know, but how incredibly awful to have to leave them Sad poor PR's SIL, its awful, no-one should be seperated from their baby that early Sad

traceybath · 26/08/2010 20:06

It is horrid Charlotte but you don't have much choice unfortunately.

The facilities in the NICU my DS was in (RUH in Bath) were dire - it was absolutely tiny and the poor staff really struggled with the lack of space.

skintbint · 26/08/2010 20:13

tracey - yes dd2 spent a couple days on parenteral feeding too, to get her settled before they put her ng tube in. i expressed the first night, but i don't think she actually got any ebm for a few days.

charlotte - you're quite right, but actually after a week i was quite grateful to be able to hand over to the scbu staff, go home and set my alarm to express, and then sleep. having a baby in scbu is exhausting - sometimes it is a guilty relief to lie down in your own bed so that you can get through the next day on the unit.

they pretty much all allow you to move back in to get bf established before discharge though.

Rebecca41 · 26/08/2010 20:17

When my DS was born 5 weeks prem and was on SCBU, they told me to express every 3 hours (he was tube-fed for a week). I had access to their breast pump.

After a couple of days it looked as if I'd have to go home due to the bed situation, but they promised me they'd lend me a breast pump to take home with me.

I lived 40 minutes away, so I was devastated. As it happened a bed became available so I didn't have to leave. But if I had, I think I'd have stayed in a hotel or with friends nearby so I could be with my DS all the time. I couldn't bear to be away from him.

Is her baby tube fed or actually sucking himself? Because if he's sucking then I would simply refuse to leave the hospital. I often spent the entire night sitting on SCBU anyway, and I'd have battered anyone who tried to make me leave!

scallopsrgreat · 26/08/2010 20:18

My DS was in SCBU 36 hrs after birth for 6 days. I was discharged 4 days after birth but could stay in SCBU all day and night if I wanted to. There wasn't any beds though so I did go home at night but was there practically all day. I was breast feeding and my supply wasn't matching demand (probably the stress as that soon changed once he was with me again) so they used the milk I had provided and mixed with formula so he had EBM every feed. My DS had hypoglaecimic problems so needed to be fed regularly and with a prescribed amount!!

Hope your SIL is OK and try and get her to be assertive. God it is so confusing and terrifying. You really don't whether you are coming or going or what to do for the best. I hope she and your nephew will be good in a few days.

scallopsrgreat · 26/08/2010 20:20

That'd be hypoglycaemic!

Fifilottie · 26/08/2010 20:48

My LO was five weeks early and in hospital for ten days. I was discharged on day three.

It was very hard and I couldn't believe I was separated from DD. I went to the hospital early morning and stayed til late night every day. It was hard but I had no choice.

I expressed at home and at hospital every three hours(or more) to promote milk supply. By day six i could bf her a bit and formula top ups were given in the hospital.On day 8 and 9 they allowed me to stay with DD in a private room to chick bf was going well. When home it figured my milk supply was too low. I had to spend two weeks expressing after every feed(had to wake her every 3) to enhance supply. It was such hard work but I perserved(6 months on and am still ebf).

It is difficult but the hospital are prob not obliged to offer a bed. Good luck to your SIL...Am sure her LO will be home and safe soon.

Good luck

Original poster
PuzzleRocks · 26/08/2010 20:48

Sorry for disappearing, DD2 is cutting molars at the moment.

Rebecca - he is sucking now. I believe the tube has come out this morning.

Thanks for all the additional posts and for sharing your stories. I'm just waiting to hear back from my brother now.

OP posts:
mrspear · 26/08/2010 20:55

Just to add my baby was born 10 weeks early in SW London and we live in SE London. Five days after birth i had to leave. My husband had to help me walk to the car sobbing. Sad I then got two trains the next morning to see him. This carried on for six weeks.

Back to OP - glad he is sucking. But if they insist she still has to go home tell her to keep pumping night and day. Yes she must set the alarm for the middle of the night. I am still breastfeeding 10 months on. It is possible. Good luck to SIL and baby. Hope the little one is home soon.

domesticdiva · 26/08/2010 21:04

Hope everything is going well Puzzlerocks, my story is similar to everyone elses really in that I just expressed overnight when I went home and brought the milk in the morning. SCBU provided me with all the bottles, labels, and a cooler bag in which to bring them in. My DS was 8 weeks prem and I was discharged after a week on the maternity ward but the SCBU was open to me and DH 24/7 until DS1 could come home a couple of weeks later.

It may be worth your SIL/bro enquiring about whether the SCBU has a 'settling in flat'. Ours had a couple of fully equiped rooms i.e. bed, kettle etc in which parents could stay in for the run up to taking baby home. They are especially good if DC need special care at home e.g oxygen etc. Just a thought for later as it certainly worked for us. Good luck Grin

domesticdiva · 26/08/2010 21:04

Hope everything is going well Puzzlerocks, my story is similar to everyone elses really in that I just expressed overnight when I went home and brought the milk in the morning. SCBU provided me with all the bottles, labels, and a cooler bag in which to bring them in. My DS was 8 weeks prem and I was discharged after a week on the maternity ward but the SCBU was open to me and DH 24/7 until DS1 could come home a couple of weeks later.

It may be worth your SIL/bro enquiring about whether the SCBU has a 'settling in flat'. Ours had a couple of fully equiped rooms i.e. bed, kettle etc in which parents could stay in for the run up to taking baby home. They are especially good if DC need special care at home e.g oxygen etc. Just a thought for later as it certainly worked for us. Good luck Grin