Advice please- give up bf? Stressed out

[pollyannasgladgame]

My son (3.5 months /exclusively bf/ gaining weight well, now 15-3)has stopped being hungry for his day feeds for the last four weeks. Instead he is starving at 7pm, 11pm, 2am and 4:30 am ( not always exact but follows a 3 hours-ish schedule).

How do I break this cycle of hungry at night and not in the day- help please! No pacifier ( dummy/boiled cooled water) helps eke him out even for 5 minutes in the night - so I feed him and then the next day his feeding is out the window again.

He actually sleeps well between feeds and is improving in his day naps so sleeping doesn't seem an issue.

He has been on a 3 hourly cycle and this week I have been following the guidance in the Baby Whisperer book to move him onto a 4 hourly schedule. The result is that he still takes small feeds in the day but now just every 4 hours. My milk supply seems to have lessened and now don't have enough to cope with his big feeds after 7pm.

Am exhausted from the lack of sleep and stressed out with the fear of not producing enough milk. Have been expressing to try and keep up the supply but it is wearing me down and getting close to quitting with bf altogether.

Bottle feeding formula is so tempting in that I will be able to gauge more easily how much he is taking and can share the night feeding more wtih my husband. But I really wanted to continue bf a bit longer.

PLease help!

Everything I've read with any real understanding of how bf works says that scheduling feeds is a very bad idea as it can result in messed up supply.

Maybe if you feed on demand for a few days and see what happens? It sounds like your baby's not getting enough during the day and 4 hours is a very long time for a tiny baby to go without food or fluids.

Good luck! :)

BF on schedule isn't a good idea - it can mess up your supply, and also their day / night feeding. Maybe try feeding on demand throughout the day, see if that makes a difference.

The BabyWhisperer book is very bad news for the majority of breastfeeders I'm afraid.

Your supply is currently out of tune with his needs so try to 'offer' feeds every 2 hours during the day and when he asks at night. Eventually he'll make the shift.

Go to bed at 8pm and get up at 8pm. From 8-midnight get someone else to mind the baby, only bringing him in for feeds.

Put the book in the bin and offer the breast all day long, don't wake him at night but if he wakes up and wants feeding then do so.

Your supply will be dropping off because it is no longer being demanded.

That Baby Whisperer book has a lot to answer for .

Loads of good advice here already so won't add anything. Hope you get things back to how you want them pollyanna.

Hi polly, sorry to hear you're having a hard time at the mo. You have done really well to come so far.
I'm just wondering what you would hope to achieve by giving a bottle of formula? It won't make your ds be hungry when he isn't. You'll just have x ounces to throw away when he refuses. And then possibly a screamy baby when he throws you a curve call and decides he's hank marvin. At least with bf the milk is ready when he is.

Ime (limited!) "routines" chop and change in the first months. This has been true for me, bf and my friend, ff. It seems to me ff may be easier to begin with but now you have bf established you have the advantage of the flexibility it offers.to me ff just seems like a constant struggle to have fresh safe bottles ready when you think the baby will want them, only the baby has other ideas! I think what i'm saying is that it isn't the bf making the baby erratic...it's the baby! My advice would be to bf when he's hungry and don't worry about it (if possible) he'll settle down again soon.

Thanks all for your advice.

Today I have been offering the breast more often - sometimes he's been interested other times he hasn't. THe odd thing with demand feeding currently is that he rarely demands it! And he is sprightly and good humoured not lethargic. maybe he is a super efficient feeder and is getting more than I realise?

Will continue with the demand feeding and see what happens - hopefully feeds will become more day than night based.

As it's teh weekend I'll get my husband to bring him to me for feeds tonight adn I'll hopefully be able to get more sleep.

Thanks again :)

Good stuff Pollyanna

interesting article on the subject :).

could be having a growth spurt so bad idea to reduce the number of day time feeds
dd2 started feeding more at night at this sort of age-it was exhausting tbh but it did get better eventually. You just have to go with it really and not worry too much about routines.