Feeling very teary and upset after giving up bf - normal?

[Alieight]

Have bf DS for just over 2 years. He was still feeding 5-7 times a day (depending on if I was working or not). Am now feeling slightly teary and upset and wondering if I've done something stupid.

I'd always hoped to get to 2 years, and hoped it would trail off naturally, but he was just as much of a boob monster as he was at 12m.

Anyway, he was due to go to Portugal with my mum for a week in August, while I joined them a week later (work booked a training course after I'd booked time off and refused to move it). So I decided I may as well bite the bullet and see if we could stop. He had spent time away from me before (3-4days), so I knew he would be ok without boob.

So I fly out to Portugal this week, and he's been fine. He's asked for 'beboo' a number of times, but is not particularly bothered when I tell him it's all gone. (Although did at one point with impeccable logic pull down my shirt and say 'Beboo not gone, beboo there'.)

Anyway, getting him to sleep now is a pain in the arse bit difficult, compared to before when I'd just feed him for ten minutes and put him in his cot awake. Plus, I really miss it, and keep having to slope off to the bathroom to cry.

I don't know what I'm asking - am just rambling now, but is it normal to feel so weepy after giving up bf? (Am normally hard as nails and cried watching the news this evening!)

I'm guessing your hormones will be fluctuating, plus bf is so much about attachment that I think you're bound to feel a bit funny about stopping. I fed DS til he was just over 2 although we'd cut it down to night feed only; I'd kept going that long because I enjoyed the attachment but felt it was time to stop. To give a 'replacement' for that close time, could you do something else that makes you feel close to him, eg milk & biscuit and cuddles before bed? It will take a while for you both to adjust but you will get there.

I guess it is mostly hormones, plus I feel really guilty....or something because he still wants to feed.

Am wondering now why I even thought it was a good idea to stop (have a bit of a mind blank) and wondering if I've done the right thing, which isn't helping. Somehow, now I've stopped, I don't feel ready...although I did before IYSWIM.

Do you have to stop/ I mean have you run out completely?

If you are regretting it, can't you keep going once a day and tail off, or something like that?

It's been nearly 2 weeks since I fed him - not sure if there's anything there.

Well I still have milk. Part of the problem is, when I've tried cutting down on feeds before, DS got really upset. I really don't want it to get back to how it was - I couldn't sit down without him wanting boob. If I knew it would just be 1/2 times a day, it would be a really easy decision I think....

Aaaargh, I don't know.I guess I feel like I was pressured into it a bit, and right now I can't really remember all the reasons why I wanted to stop, just all the reason why I want to carry on!

I'm no expert, but 1) he's only a little chap 2)he's got a fair bit of language going there 3) you both sound a bit sad about it.

Can't you come to an arrangement with him so it's not a boobfest every time you sit down, but you both still get a go every day when you need to.

THen you can tail it off as it suits yuu both, over as long a period as you feel like. ie get it down to 1/2 feeds a day over a few weeks, tell him that now he's a bit older we can do some things a bit differently.

It all sounds a bit cold turkey unless I'm missing something.

That is really good advice, and I think you've put the finger on what's been bothering me so much...he has pretty much gone cold turkey, and bless him, he's coped really well, but I feel so mean about it...

Need to think it over I think...thank you so much for your replies - really needed to talk to someone whose response wasn't going to be 'Well, now you're just feeding him for you rather than because he wants to blah blah bollocks'...

He has gone cold turkey and has coped really well, so if I were you I would be tempted to let it go. You have to at somestage and I think that if you went back now, it would make the next time you stop even more difficult on him and for you.

I agree with Numptymum, you should introduce 'cosying time' before bed, when you two get really close and share routine, love and comfort.

Well, that answers that question - I thought I'd see if he wanted bf before his nap today, and it seems that he's completely forgotten how to latch. He lay there with the tip of my nipple in his mouth with a puzzled expression on his face, and said 'No beboo, beboo all done'.

So I guess that's that then - thank you all for replying.

That's fascinating.
You won't forget him saying that in a hurry.

It is a bit sad when they move on, it is such a special time and it is normal to miss it.