Breast feeding No. 2, with a very active No. 1 - advice sought

[koalabear]

No. 2 is due in November. No 1 will be 19 months old.

I B/F No. 1 until he decided he'd had enough at 7 months. However, for the first three months of his life, he fed every 2 hours, for one hour at a time. I'm not exagerating. At 16 weeks he was diagnosed with reflux, which explained this type of feeding behaviour (lots and slowly to aleviate his pain). However, because of this, I have no idea what "normal" breastfeeding is (if there is such a thing). What I do know is that I can't possibly feed No. 2 like I fed No.1.

So, can anyone give me any advice about what would be a suitable B/F'ing routine for a newborn when you also have to accomodate a toddler, who probably wont be old enough to reason with.

All suggestions welcome. Thanks

I have no suggestions I am afraid, but will be watching the thread as I have a 21 month old and am 37 weeks pregnant .

I've bf my 3 dds. First time no problem as only had dd to look after. With dd2 I had to accomodate school schedule as well as looking after dd1. DD3 the same as dd2 but had the two others to run after. Only way I managed was to bf whilst mobile. I now have strong arms!! Also being able to bf when out & about. I bf at the school, at shops, anywhere that my little one needed to bf. Also managed to do most tasks with just the one arm whilst bf. Couldn't do the ironing or other danagerous things but could tidy up, load/unload washing, make an easy meal. I never would have managed as some mums who sit down to bf whilst toddler plays next to them - mine might have done this once but not for the constant bf of a newborn. Good luck with this

thanks milward - i got quite good at the mobile b/f last time, but only to get the post / get a drink

i think you are amazing to be able to do the washing!

any one else got any suggestions about how to cope with b/f no. 2 with a toddler?

also, any one able to give me an idea about how often to b/f a new born? when do you get into a routine, such as 4 hourly feeds?

I have a 20 month age gap. I did lots of watching CBeebies, read books, did jigsaws (got good at holding ds with one arm whilst feeding!), talked to dd loads. Luckily, dd seemed interested in ds having his feed so we talked about that too. Used to feed him whilst she ate her dinner, tea, had some sort of snack so that took her attention.

When out and about, I usually sat down and pushed dd right up to me in her pushchair so we could talk. She occasionally got a bit wriggly but ds became the master of the short feed so we weren't usually still for long.

Good luck

Ds was three when dd was born, and I'm still, six months later, breastfeeding. Have no routine. Certainly not a four hourly one, but it works all the same. We go out quite a lot, and ds can be in a cafe eating cake or at the one o'clock club in the sandpit, while I'm feeding dd. The great think is that though she still feeds frequently, she feeds for much less time - ten minutes quite often. I can chat to ds or read to him and stuff while I'm feeding. I think with subsequent children you do tend to feed more on the hoof and if we have to go, well, poor old dd just gets unlatched and taken along.

BTW, both mine bf every hour or two, we never got to the 4 hour feed thing. dd just accepted it though, at 19 or 20 months it quickly becomes the norm for them. If he cried, she used to shout, 'Mummy, boob' at me (no matter where we were !!)

I have to say though that, even though I didn't realise it at the time, I was more experienced at bf so I was more aware when ds had finished than I was with dd (who used to feed for 1/2 hour regularly) and more confident to remove him if I thought he was done.

I worried about it beforehand too but it really did all fall into place when ds arrived. Personally, I bf when they were hungry and didn't watch the clock and it worked for me.

KB - thanks - but I had to just get on with everything as no help available when dh was out at work.
For bf a newborn - they will bf about 8-12 times in 24hrs at first. Time to bf will vary. Let your baby bf as often & for a long as it needs to help get your milk supply going & to meet the needs of your little one. Once the stomach gets bigger the time betwwen bf will get longer. At first is walnut sized so will need to be filled often! Best wishes.

I agree with everybody else really, forget about a routine, but do think about getting a ring sling (for example www.slingeasy.co.uk) - you can b/feed while carrying baby in sling and you still have your hands free to play with your toddler! Good luck!

kb,my dd was 3.5 when ds came along and I found b/feeding so convenient. There is always one arm free and at the constant feeding stage they are at leastpretty portable.
Think dd appreciated me being able to sit/lie with her,as I'm usually constantly on the go.
She too used to order me to feed him when he cried.
It was also incredibly convenient when going out. Dd did a lot of burning off energy in playgrounds while I sat on a bench,fed and read the paper.

Would you feel more confident of being mobile and doing tasks if you used a ring sling?

try this site

Baby will get the hang of it and DS will learn to adjust to it.

All the best.

Ive had mares with mine tbh - sorry - my dd is 2.4 yrs and she has been v jealous. Made worse by having severe thrush in breasts and DS mouth which lasted 8 weeks and meant feeding went on for nearly 1hr and a half at a sitting for some time. There is no miracle answer and lots of babies dont fit "routines" (dont care what GF says!) i fed on demand and made sure i had lots of goodies to hand with daughter that i brought out only at feeding time. Got her a doll that she could "feed" at the same time and as a last resort recorded all her fav tv programs on sky +. My DS is now 19 weeks and things have been easier maybe for the last 6 weeks so all i can say is that it may be tough - expect it to be - dont expect to be able to do all the same routines at the same time for your toddler as you used to, nor expect to get into a routine as quick with your newborn as you did with your 1st. Things will fall into place eventually and the best you can do is try and be relaxed about it and not worry if things dont get done. Hope that all made sense - sorry for the rambling reply!

Also, don't feel guilty about putting on the odd video to keep no. 1 amused for a while. Hate Barney, but there were times when he saved my life!

My DS1 fed for ages at a time, but DS2 has been more efficient, and I think my supply has been better. (Well, I know it has.) That being said, in the early days, we did a lot of "reading and feeding" - all three of us in a big bed, with baby on the boob, while I read a book to DS1.

I'm also having these questions as I will have 18 month gap between my two darlings. I suppose you have the same issues with bottle feeding if you have a newborn and also a toddler, ok you may have a partner in the evenings to do some feedings. I'm going to enjoy my evenings feeding and get DP to do the other chores!

The sling looks a great idea especially if you need to get mobile to run after toddler. I think cbeebies will be a lifesaver too. I'm really anal about the housework as well and I'm trying to calm down and say it will wait!

My DD has always been a speed feeder and never that hungry, even as a small baby I had to remind myself to offer her a boob every 2-3 hours so I'm hoping this one is the same.

Haven't got time to read all your replies, so some of my advice might have already been given... If so, sorry.

I'm currently bfeeding no2. dd1 used to feed for an hour at a time and I was dreading it with no2. But, dd2 is so much stronger and feeds a lot quicker. 10-15 minutes is normal. If we're at home, I tend to give dd1 a treat (raisens or soemthing naughtier...) and we sit down and watch cbeebies together. Or, I try and conicide the feedings with trips out so that dd1 is otherwise engaged. I'll feed in the park whilst dd1 runs around or at the library whilst she looks at books and plays with other children. dd1 is almost 3 so a bit older then your one. Also, sometimes I have to just let dd2 cry for a bit whilst I do things for dd1 (esp bath time and story time). Having spoken to lots of my local mums it seems like 2nd (and subsequent) babies get a bit of a rough deal to start with, but they all come through it. I felt awful letting dd2 cry to start with. She's 6 weeks now and I'm getting used to it and less stressed.

Good luck!

thanks everybody - great advice here! good luck to sweetkitty and piccadilyC

I was determined I would bottle feed as I had a toddler with SN who was just over 2 when I had dd2 - at 10 months she is still being breastfed along with her solids. I would put on Nick jnr (TV) or get dd1 to sit up on the couch with me when I was feeding - Dd2 took ages to feed at the start and it probably took us a good 8 weeks to get sorted.

At first dd1 was a little resentful of the time dd2 took up but she got better. It was hard in the early days but we all perservered.

koalabear my dd was 2.3 when had ds1. I always had a drink and snack ready in the fridge for the next bf session. That way if dd started hounding me I could send her to the fridge to get her snack. I also bought a magnetic sketcher to draw on whilst sitting next to me feeding (can't lose the pen as attached) or would encourage her to feed her own "baby" at the same time. I was determined to enjoy my bf sessions as it is the only time you get to sit down and enjoy the cuddle without "help" from dd. I also had a cordless phone and kept that with me so no interruptions there either. Good luck.

i've got dd1 age 2 and dd2 3 wks. at first it was really hard esp. when dd1 wanted to jump all over me in the rocking chair and my breasts were really sore! now i let her sit in the chair and i go on the floor! also am more mobile too. i have a 'betterbabysling' and its great, though still need at least one hand to feed. i can walk around if feeding with dd2 in 'underarm rugby ball' position. i think trying to get into a routine would almost be harder...i would say feed as and when but be prepared to unlatch baby when needed - i find papousse or sling helps her go longer between feeds if needed - and also be prepared for a few toddler tantrums - lots in my house but she also adores her baby sis, so no long term harm i'm sure! Hope it goes well for you, honestly, I was really terrified how I was going to cope but we're doing fine, despite feeds every hour at the mo x