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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BF a 9 month old

35 replies

NewbeeMummy · 23/08/2010 12:33

I'm basically looking for a bit of support here.

I currently bf my 9.5 month old dd for her first feed in the morning and her last feed at night.

I didn't think this was unusual, but having mentioned this to a few other mums, I'm told this is very unusual and I need to stop doing it as soon as possible. I'm also getting pressure from my OH to stop feeding her now, as he feels she's too old to be BF.

I want to continue for a couple reasons
a.) I heard that it was good to feed morning and night because that's when babies need and use the most nutrients from their milk.
b.) I really enjoy BFing and feel sad at having to give up what I view to be s special time with DD.

Just to add DD settles herself happily, so I don't need to BF to get her to sleep, there have been occasions when I have had to leave for work before she wakes up and she will happily take a bottle instead of her feed from me. Although she has teeth, she has only bitten me 2-3 times in total.

Is it selfish of me to continue BFing, should I bow to the pressure and stop now? Is 9 months unusually late in a babies life to be BF?

OP posts:

tiktok · 23/08/2010 12:37

Er, why on earth stop?

You enjoy it. Your baby enjoys it. Breastmilk is always a nutritious and valuable food and drink. Why would milk from another animal be better for her? She's a baby - she enjoys being breastfed and it is good for her. Vague notions of her being 'too old' come from where? Social expectations only!

There are loads and loads of us on mumsnet who have continued to breastfeed for far longer than 9 mths anyway!

Cies · 23/08/2010 12:38

Of course it's not selfish. It's wonderful.

I'm typing 1 handed as my 9mo ds is currently breastfeeding.

The WHO recommend bf until at least 2 yo.

If you're happy, then carry on for as long as you want.

MollysChambers · 23/08/2010 12:39

God no. I bf'd 1st til 12 months, 2nd self weaned at 10 mths , 3rd til 15 months. Seems mad to stop at 9 months if you don't want too. I would keep going until at least 12 months if you can. That way she can go straight on to cows milk and you don't have to faff about with formula. It is not at all selfish to carry on. It is still beneficial to her. She's only 9 months!!

(BTW I'm no tree hugger, jesus sandal wearing hippy...)

StealthPolarBear · 23/08/2010 12:39

it is fine :)
Bash your OH over the head with a copy of The Politics of Breastfeeding :o

witchwithallthetrimmings · 23/08/2010 12:40

The norm is for babies of 9 months to be bottle fed (if you define this as what most babies do), but many many babies who are bf up to 6 months carry on for the rest of the year and beyond.

some arguments for you
bf helps with introduction of new foods (reducing intolerances and allergies)
when they are sick or teething or generally off their food it is a good way for them to get the nutrition they need
when they have a tummy bug (more likely after 6 months) it is a safe sterile way for them to get digestable food that gives them the energy they need to get better
good emotional support for them when dealing with separetation and attachemnts issures
crunch is though you both enjoy it so why stop?

CharlottesClan · 23/08/2010 12:42

im an oddity around my area too. just because you are different to mainstream doesnt mean you are doing wrong. in any way shape or form.

who does indeed recommend to 2, and i also second doing to a year to save the faff and expense of formula.

witchwithallthetrimmings · 23/08/2010 12:45

it is amazing how some can make
"you are still feeding, you are amazing" sound like
"you are still feeding, you are such a freak"!

prettybird · 23/08/2010 12:46

I fed ds until he was 13 months old - started giving him some cow's milk when he was 12 months old ( I had been back at work full time since he was 4 months old, so expressing for his drinks during the day was taking its toll - not that I had minded :))

As others have said, WHO recommend until 2 years and if you and dd are still enjoying it, why stop?

StealthPolarBear · 23/08/2010 12:48

WHO recommend it until at least two - there is no cut off point!

Original poster

NewbeeMummy · 23/08/2010 12:52

Thanks so much, I really appreciate all your comments.

I was really begining to think I was a complete freak of nature, and completely selfish to want to continue BF'ing.

Thanks for the backing, I now feel a lot more confident and will stand up to those who have questioned it.

OP posts:

Wigeon · 23/08/2010 12:56

Not at all weird or selfish - in fact I'd say it's the opposite - you are feeding desipte the fact that a 9 month old is usually wiggly, might bite, you are still dealing with breast pads, leaky boobs etc etc. I think it's something to be proud of. In fact, if you want to BF til 12 months (or beyond of course) you can go straight onto cow's milk and skip formula all together.

From your post, it sounds like there are zero reasons to stop and lots of reasons to continue.

Why on earth do your mum friends think you should stop immediately? It's the best possible milk for your child.

Why does your OH think you should stop?

BTW I fed DD til she was 12 months . And know quite a few people who fed their DCs at 9 months - not at all weird IME.

sweetnitanitro · 23/08/2010 12:58

You are definitely not a freak! I'm still breastfeeding 22 mo DD, and I'm 14 weeks pregnant- people have given up trying to tell me to stop

Is there a breastfeeding group like La Leche League near you? I just started going to a local group and it's brilliant to chat to other BF mums.

You are not selfish at all, it is the best thing for your DD and it's good for you too!

Wigeon · 23/08/2010 12:58

As well as thinking of your own and Witchwithallthetriming's positives, you might also like to think of the disadvantages of stopping now:

Formula more expensive than breast milk
Much more of a faff
Much less convenient
Breast milk is perfect nutritionally

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 23/08/2010 12:59

Glad to hear it, Newbee! Really, a simplistic response (to the critics) is why would you pay for formula when breastmilk is free? The very fact that a 9 month old can't yet drink cow's milk and need special formula milk which is designed to try and replicate human breastmilk seems to indicate, to me, that it's physiologically normal for you to keep breastfeeding her. Does that make sense?

Not that it's wrong to breastfeed a one year old either, obviously, but it seems really counterintuitive to give up breastfeeding, when you enjoy it, and then spend money on a substance manufactured to replicate the substance you've just voluntarily stopped producing.

Why on earth anyone would tell you that you should stop as soon as possible escapes me. Even if it were their business, which it isn't, what on earth could they see as a downside? I literally can't think of a single downside to breastfeeding a nine month old if you and she both enjoy it.

Bettymum · 23/08/2010 13:06

It does make me cross when other people try to pressure women into stopping BFing, it is so silly. I BF DD till she was 16 months, I went back to work when she was 8 months so I just did morning and evening feeds from then on, but it was such a lovely way for us to reconnect when I came home, and to have a cuddle before I went to work. I dropped the morning feed at about 14 months, and although I was a bit wobbly about stopping the evening feed at 16 months DD wasn't in the least bothered so I guess she was ready.
I'm currently BFing DS (4 months) and hope to continue as long as he wants to feed as long as I can fit it in whilst trying to get myself, DD and him out of the house by 8am every morning when I go back to work again .
Good for you, stick to your guns.

MollysChambers · 23/08/2010 13:12

Not selfish. Selfless.

wonderstuff · 23/08/2010 13:13

I fed dd until she was 2yo - gave myself a target of 6 weeks when she was born I was worried it would be difficult to wean her but actually she readily accepted the 'big girl cows milk' when we were both ready to wean.

Milk is a really important part of the diet for toddlers, why switch to formula, and the hassle that that entails when you have the good stuff free and readily available?

lowrib · 23/08/2010 13:24

Your breastmilk has been designed by millions of years of evolution to be perfect for your baby. Why pay for an inferior product (formula / cows milk) if you don't have to?

I found I got quite a lot of pressure fro peopl to "give up" BF when DS was around 10mo. Now he's 20mo and still BF, strangely I find people ask less. I wonder if perhaps they think I'm a lost cause now

I took courage from seeing a woman feed a 2yo on the bus when DS was about 10mo. Now if I feel funny about BF in public, I remind myself to be brave as I might be giving other mums courage to do the same.

Notquitegrownup · 23/08/2010 13:29

lol Wonderstuff, I had the six week target too and weaned by boys at 3 and 3.5

Had lots of pressure from family and friends to give up too. So glad that I didn't give up before 2yo. DS2 broke his leg badly at that time, and as well as all of the other advantages of feeding my lo, it was wonderful to be able to offer him his favourite comfort drink whilst everything else was very painful and confusing for him.

Keep on posting here. I didn't know about extended feeding with ds1 and thought I was the only one in the country doing it!! There are a lot more folks than you think, and you'll meet lots here

BinkyNic · 23/08/2010 13:48

keep going until you or DD wants to stop, I managed until 12.5 months. Would have gone on for many months more but my DD kept pulling off and biting.

She's 9 MONTHS not Years, nothing unusual at all with what you're doing. All of my friends carried on until 12 months or so at least.

moajab · 23/08/2010 13:57

I am still feeding my 18 month old and would probably never speak to DH again if he put pressure on me to stop! It's a lovely experience you're giving your baby - she probably loves snuggling up to you for her feed - it's such a wonderful emotional bond for you both, as well as the numerous health benefits. Breastfeeding doesn't last forever, so enjoy it for as long as you can!

Wigeon · 23/08/2010 13:58

Tortoise - that is such a simple, common-sense but really great post. I think it expresses what I think but didn't quite know how to explain.

ButterpieBride · 23/08/2010 14:02

I'm feeding a 9mo, and she is one of the younger bf babies and children that I know!

9m is still quite far away from extended bf in my eyes anyway, we are still firmly in the no question about bf area :)

loopyloops · 23/08/2010 14:05

I am still BF my 14 month old. I don't see this as selfish at all. In fact,I'd quite like to stop but she just won't let me!

Carry on as long as you and your child want. If people make comments you can either correct them, ignore them or stop speaking to the idiots!

If it's only morning and night (lucky you btw, we're still 3-4 times here...), do people even need to know?

TrinityRhino · 23/08/2010 14:07

you are definitely not a freak
gecko is 3 and still bf

please carry on if that is what you want to do

I'm with butterpie

there is no way that 9 months is extended bf

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