I want to stop breastfeeding. Can you tell me how to?

[PavlovtheCat]

bear cub wants to feed most of the time, in particular at night. He wont sleep without my milk, without a big fuss, and then for no more than 20 mins. he paws me for milk continuously, i am drained. i need a break from it all. i had plans to feed morning and evening but he won't let me do that so i want to stop completely.

How can i withdraw the milk from him without too much distress? what do i need to do? with dd, she did not feed like this, and gradually stopped herself. bear cub will just feed all day if i let him.

Pav is this recently getting worse? Mine has had phases of it, and usually it's the worst time to withdraw it though it makes you feel so desperate - I have no idea why they have the phases. But if you are able to hang on until this is finished and he is back to more normal routine, you will be more likely to succeed I think.

I have no ideas for stopping as we still bf at 3yrs3 months and I am in the same boat this week!

I will watch with interest..good luck x

How old is he?

flight no not recent, although the amount of night wakings has increased, and i guess his demand for as much in the day has increased. But he has always wanted lots of milk. he fed 1-2 hourly as a newborn. He is a Milk Monster of the highest order.

he is teething though so i do know that is making him feed even more, or guessing so, but he is going to be teething for a long time yet.

DH has him in the mornings when I am at work, and he is ok without milk, without me, but does not sleep as much as if he had a milk feed.he is offered, and sometimes takes a bootle, but not when he knows i am in the house.

sorr forgot to say his age that would be very helpful.

He is almost 9 months.

Oh if I could only turn back time...i would be introducing ds2 to a bottle right about NOW

I think you need to employ DH and the bottle in this plan

maybe remove yourself from the premises at the requisite times for a few days so he gets accustomed to doing bottle more

This is somethingI was never able to do due to lack of available DH! I would say take the chance now. You don't want to end up here in 3 years time still unable to get any respite. lol

Have you introduced solids or purees? That might be a way to start. It could be that as he's getting better he needs more calories than before so is needing to stimulate even more milk production. But at 9 months he should be having some solids and that will help him get the calories he needs without you.

Maybe try baby led weaning?

We have offered the bottle for months now,introduced it a while before I went back to work so we could get him used to it, and also, as he fed so often, to give me a break sometimes, and sometimes, for a good week he will take it, and not only take it but want it, and drink a whole bottle. He used to take a bottle at 11pm, DH would give it to him, and he would drink the lot, did not really improve his sleep, but meant i did not have to feed him for that. He would be fine with me feeding him the bottle too. But its hit and miss, and after a while taking the bottle, just as we think we have it sussed he changes his mind. Now, when I am not here, he takes it, much of the time, and if he doesn't take it, it is because he is not really hungry (he has snacks now too in the morning, guessed he does not perhaps need milk then?) but when I am here, he is pawing at me.

I guess, it might have increased a bit, maybe because I am working now and not around in the morning?

japhrimal oh i had a little chuckle! He is the hungriest baby I have ever met! He is being weaned, and eats purees, and finger food. He eats, well anything he can get his hands on! He has 3 square meals, plus 2 puds, plus snacks during the day. He probably equals the amount his piglet sister eats (maybe not quite but he did finish her mash last night!).

We cannot stuff any more food into him!

Lol, solids isn't the answer then!

Have you checked Kellymom? I'm sure I saw an article on there on reversed feeding patterns when a Mum goes back to work.

i shall go have a read of kellymom, sounds interesting about the returning to work and reversing work patterns.

i am so drained. It is not good for any of us, especially the night waking, i need some space from it. I want to be able sit down without him tucking at me for milk.

Here's the article I saw with links for more info:

www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/reverse-cycling.html

i read the article with interest, makes sense, the being away for part of the day, and also the distraction. He feeds more when I am around, but also he stops a lot to watch/laugh join in with his sister prancing around, or if we are out he gets distracted by new sounds/people/sights. those two factors together are probably combined, added to the teething mix.

DH said 'what a load of cr*p' he thinks because he is almost permanently attached to the boob and eats a ton it must be right.

But I think maybe also you have a point japhrimel about the building up milk supply, even with the food, if he is about to grow, he must need more milk as well as food and he is eating lots atm. And, DH took him out after his 2pm feed, and the last few days he has fed twice in the afternoon, and he missed this today. By 5pm my boob was full, have not had full boobs for ages as he has drunk them dry!

Little man has been a nightmare here recently, too - BUT I say with hope that his first tooth cut a week ago, and almost overnight he has cut down on his night and day feeds.

I hope it eases off soon :( Have no advice on stopping if that's what you want to do... But either way - I hope you get some sleep and sanity restored to you soon.

Will he take a cup?

My DS wasn't quite such a milk fiend and I only fed him at particular times of day at 9 months (I think it was morning, after lunchtime nap and evening at around 9 months) but would never take a bottle but he would take drinks from a tommy tippee beaker. Never milk though but he was eating loads by then including yoghurt and cheese.

He ate as you have described above too. Any time I was trying to drop a feed I would give him a huge meal and then only offer him breastmilk after the food.

Not sure if any of this is useful as your situation sounds a bit different but thought I would post just in case!

With night feeds I did find Elizabeth Pantley's (No Cry Sleep Solution) method quite useful (it was at about 5 months for us - we had just returned from overseas so DS was jetlagged and waking frequently to feed in the night). It took about 2 weeks of allowing him to feed when he woke but gradually reducing the amount of time at the breast before releasing his latch and putting him down in the cot. We were using a dummy as well though which made this a lot easier to put him down.

mini we have the ncsc book too. I tried, and failed. I guess I was not ready to follow a 'regime' when I first tried it at around 5-6months, figured he would settle into his own routine in time. Maybe I should try again.

oh and yes he loves a cup. He loves water from it, mess little thing though! But he only likes it as some fun, rather than his actual source of milk.

However, currently, he is desperately trying to drink from DDs pretend bottle for her doll! I might offer him a bottle instead of my boob this afternoon.

So, given that I am still contemplating stopping bf'ing, any suggestions on how to do so without upsetting ds too much? in particular night feeds.

Lots of support so far, so advice on how to stop!!