Keeping baby awake for feeds

[CakeandRoses]

Hello,

I need some advice on keeping my 4 week old awake for night feeds. She can go just over 4 hours now in the night but then when she wakes for a feed, she's so sleepy that she'll only be on the breast for a couple of minutes before going back to sleep, I'll try to wake her up, give up, put her back to bed and then she'll wake up in 5 - 15 minutes and start the whole process again. This often happens around 4 times in a row, twice a night so it really disrupts my sleep.

She's my second DC and after my first being a colicky, winder, non-sleeper, I thought I'd be able to handle anything this one threw at me!

She's actually a great sleeper and a really calm baby so if I can crack this then I think we'll start to get some decent sleep in the night (which is essential as DS's wakes at anytime from 6.30am at the moment

I've tried all the usual techniques of tickling her, partially undressing her, walking fingers up her back, blowing on her etc. I admit I've stopped short of a nappy change as I'm so tired when she wakes up that the thought of getting up to do that is unbearable! I guess I could be cruel and get DH to do it

Any advice please?

winder = windy!

I had this.... I ended up changing nappies and stripping him down so he wasn't too warm and cosy. Only after his feed would I dress him up and swaddle. Yes, it was v v annoying and the last thing I felt like doing as I was unable to bf lying down and doze off myself but ultimately less annoying than being woken up four plus times each night and I didn't want him to get used to suckle to sleep and have a poor sleeper on my hands a few months down the road after he'd learnt all the wrong sleep associations. Incidentally mine also slept really well during the day so this feeding/sleep thing was a night problem and he is also Mr Calm! Goodluck.

Thank you Raejj. It sounds as tho there's nothing for it except a nappy change

Did you find your DS dropped a feed/slept thru quite early?

Actually (whisper quietly, touch all manner of lucky charms) he's now 16 weeks and although i give him a dreamfeed btwn 10-11 he now goes to bed at 6 and has for the past week slept thro until 6.30-7ish. He DOES wake in the night but unless it descends into all out crying i don't intervene and he seems to be be pushing himselfback to sleep. However he did unfortunately get used to suckling for a few mins to nod off so between weeks 8 and about 14 I did have a rough time trying to wean him off this habit ( I would give a dummy and he'd go back to sleep for hours or I'd listen to fussing for an hour or two until he started crying but I figured it was worth it in longer-term as I wept into my pillow). during the day I ended up having to switch to bottles / mixed feeding cos I could get the teat in enough to trigger his automatic sucking mechanism whereas it is pretty damn hard to push a nipple into a reluctant baby's mouth:) and satisfy myself he was getting the calories in and night waking WAS just habit. Good luck!

I had the exact same problem. Nappy change is most effective trick, but I also found that expressing during the day and then feeding my LO with that at night worked, as he'd manage a bottle when the breast just sent him to sleep.

That said, I did spend quite a few nights propped up dozing with him on the breast, asleep across my chest and waking for the occasional couple of slurps every now and again. The crick is only just leaving my neck.

Well exactly. I used to quite often wake up a few hours after I'd started feeding him and he'd still be half suckling on and off. With the best of intentions there's only so much wakefulness anyone can take in the night.

Thank you both of you. Have done a deal with DH to do a nightly nappy change each from tonight. Wish me luck!

And yy re the horrors of waking up finding your baby under your armpit after dozing off mid-feed!

would advise a quick nappy change so good luck cakeandroses! am off to bed myself now in hopes of having a few hours kip in a row...

am now just ff my dd but always found she'd go to sleep quicker on boob than bottle, so would also suggest bottle at night?

number of times have woken up with baby(fast asleep) on shoulder after winding was quite scary... she quite liked it though!

Success! DH changed her and I fed her at 11.30pm and then she slept until nearly 4am :-). Changed her nappy and stripped her off before feeding her again and then she went back down again til nearly 7 am.

Thanks v much everyone!

On a slightly different note, when did you instigate an evening bedtime routine? DD seems wide awake til 9ish and is also often cluster feeding til then so I feel like it'll be a bit disastrous to try to put her to bed in the evening quite yet.

I sound like such a novice considering this is my second! They were just such different babies - DS wouldn't sleep for love nor money, at any time!

One thing you said there are you getting out of bed with the baby to change a nappy? I just do ds2 on the bed he was sleepy too and needed the nappy change to rouse him
I just do it where I am on a mat or blanket one reason being I don't run the risk of him getting all woken up by me getting up and taking him to another room to change nappy.

I have never been a bedtime routine person I found with dd it was actually better to let her self moderate her sleep we all get on far better that way. What I did/do is do the same things every evening in the same order a little later when they were tiny bringing it forward a bit at a few months old.

They have had their bath/wash down, change into nightwear, feed, sleeping bag etc every evening.

Thanks v much Ineedacleaner - I was wondering whether getting up and taking her to her nursery for the change was necessary! Will try changing her on the bed tonight and see if that still wakes her enough.

Your suggestion re the routine makes sense to me and would fit well with letting her dictate her evening feeds/sleeps at the mo, which feels right.

In the early weeks would you do the change/feed/sleeping bag and then put them in a moses basket downstairs with you or do the routine later when they were ready to go to their bed upstairs?

I had to wake ds to feed him as he was trying to sleep through from 2 weeks, while not gaining weight. I used various techniques: changing him, undressing him, cold damp cotton wools on the soles of his feet and when I was really desparate, squeezing a small drop of water into his ear!

I started my routine day one! He goes down at about 630 yhaving started his night routine at 545. He doesn't have huge daytime naps but if I have my evenings and he sleeps at night I don't mind so much:)

Congrats on success!! I just used to chain him on my bedroom floor (if I did on bed sods law he'd wee sans nappy and I'd have a urine soaked duvet aaargh.

At about 14 weeks I stopped the nappy changing.

DH thinks it's cruel (so I worry that it is but still do it), but I keep a bottle of cold water to hand and when he starts to drop off I touch him gently on the cheek with it . Works wonders (discovered this by accident).

I squeeze cold water on my DD's face if desperate!

Hoping 'chain' was a typo for 'change' Raejj altho there have been times when chaining DS to the floor didn't seem too excessive

Katiekins3 and Zimm - stoopid question but how do you keep the water cold enough? I've tried room temp water from my glass but that definitely isn't cold enough for waking this baby!

Sorry yes stupid predictive typing keyboard thing.

Stupidly didn't do the nappy change for the middle of the night feed last night (toddler DS had been up screaming with teething earlier so I was v zombified) and had a terrible night with DD after that so it's proved that the nappy change is essential!

I did all middle of night feeds before 8 weeks downstairs in front of TV. Took babygro & vest off, nappy change after one side, tickle toes etc to keep awake.

If I tried to feed in bed it would have been like you describe....in terms of dozing off and anyway at the start he wouldn't stay latched on lying down.

I also started with a 6.30pm bedtime from around week 2, as soon as BFing established, although had awake time 10-11.15 ish.

Down to one night feed at 6 weeks and slept through at 8 weeks.

MumNWLondon - Thanks for this, very helpful.

When you say sleeping thru - what would that mean in terms of hours?

Oooh the thought of a whole night's sleep!!

Wow MumNWLondon impressive!

Cakeandroses - by sleeping through I mean to 630ish am give or take 20 mins either way:)

I personally keep baby in his room with Moses basket. Feel bit of a bitch for doing so (hello newborn, now spend hours by yourself in your mums bedroom) but I wanted to get him accustomed to nights being for sleeping in dark in room and not think evenings are for playing. All feeds conducted in said room, minimal lights and only gentle whispers and cuddles. Start as you mean to go on mentality! Meant nothing to him until about now. Actually it probably still means nothing but he does fall asleep about 630 so maybe it worked after all. Did the same with dc2 (I started her routine at about 4 weeks) and bless her she goes to bed at 7 and spends an hour babbling in cot until she drifts off to sleep then usually silence until 630 when she wakes us all up singing twinkle twinkle :)

CakeandRoses I do the loose bath sleeping bag routine even now when ds2 is still in the living room with us of an evening and (frantically touching wood) he is settling well -he's 9 weeks today- and for the past few weeks is realiseing what night time is.
He doesn't settle at a specific time it can still be anywhere from half 8 to nearly 11 but he does do bigger chunks of sleep through the night and has done for a good few weeks we get about 6 hours in one go now.

He was esactly the same at night as your baby at night but now he is settling better and having a bigger chunk of sleep he is feeding well when he does wake and going straight back to sleep.

Took your advice re bedtime an for the last two evenings DD has slept in her crib upstairs all evening! We did a shortened version of DS's bedtime routine at the same time (starts at 7pm, in bed for 7.30pm) and then put her down into the crib in our bedroom. Tonight she still hasn't woken up for a feed, over 4 hours later (getting up a bit annoying now as I don't know whether to go to sleep myself or not!)

We keep pinching ourselves as we didn't get our evenings back last time round til DS was at least 4 months old.

Incidentally, the reason we put DD upstairs already is that we have an Angelcare sensor pad which means I can switch off a bit - when she was sleeping in her moses basket in the sitting room, I'd be checking her breathing every 2 minutes . You can imagine what I was like with my PFB!

ineedacleaner good to hear your DS is starting to feed well when he does wake, hopefully my DD will start to do that soon too.

Wow! Good news:)

It's amazing when you first get a few hours to yourself isn't it! I got it very early on with dc2 in evening (sadly not night time boo)but with dc1 it was ooh several months.

Brilliant hope you had a good night in the end. We are getting better and better at nights now and ds2's sleeping bag I discovered is a big thing in him realising already that i is bedtime i've discovered when he goes into that before a feed at bedtime sort of time he is more likely to go to sleep after it for a good few hours.

Now he is feeding better i'm not sat there with matchsticks holding my eyes open either trying to get through it.