Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Right. Tonight is the night. I am going to do it. Any words of wisdom?

10 replies

YunoYurbubson · 21/08/2010 15:08

This is sort of a sleep thing, but mostly a boob thing so I am putting it here.

2 1/2 yr old ds just HAS to stop waking for milk all night long, or I will be forced to sell him to a nicer mummy, one who can go for years at a time without more than 90 minute stretches of sleep. I caaaaaan't do it any more.

I WANT to be a wonderful Mary Poppins attachment mummy who meets the needs of her child. But I also want my 2 yo not to be rancid with overtiredness by 9am every day because he thinks that night time is a 12 hour boobathon rather than a time to sleep.

We have bought him a Big Boys Bed.

I am going to do it.

Q1. Should I feed him to sleep as normal? In his new bed? I feel as though the new bed should never have a breastfeeding association, but then I also don't want him to hate and blame the new bed for the new regime.

Q2. What do I do when he wakes in the night?

Q3. How about if he creeps in to my bed and latches on without me noticing? It has happened many times before.

Q4. How do I stay strong when he screams (which he will) and wakes dd (which he will)?

Q5. Actually, is this a really stupid plan? Shall I just wait until he naturally stops waking to feed overnight? Surely he will do eventually? And if not, then there will be a natural break when he leaves home to go to university or get married? (JOKE).

OP posts:
RubyBuckleberry · 21/08/2010 16:07

"I WANT to be a wonderful Mary Poppins attachment mummy who meets the needs of her child. But I also want my 2 yo not to be rancid with overtiredness by 9am every day because he thinks that night time is a 12 hour boobathon rather than a time to sleep."

You ARE Grin. He has had 2.5 years of the ultimate hih class comfort whenever he wants it. It IS ok for him to learn that he can happily sleep on his own!

  1. I would move the feed to before a story. He will kick off but you will have to dsplay endless patience and resolve. He will/can only blame the new regime for so long - a few days maybe, before he will probably really like the new one, particularly if you give him loads of time before bed.
  1. Just take him back to bet and rather boringly say, its night time, its ok, just go back to sleep'. Grin.
  1. Put a bell on your door knob so you hear him.
  1. Just breathe and think of the full nights sleep this time next week. Write out a 'reasons for doing this' chart. DD might not wake. If she does... hmm tricky one... can she sleep in a different room for a few nights? She might not - my niece didn't.
  1. Its a brilliant plan. He might not do it eventually - don't know.

Whatever you do, don't cave as that really will confuse him.

This is what I would do. Hth.

Good Luck
x

Original poster
YunoYurbubson · 21/08/2010 16:35

Thank you so much for replying Ruby. I really need a bit of support if I am going to do this.

Okay, the bad news is... we're too late. I am in a different time zone and it is already bedtime here and ds is asleep in my bed. And dd is asleep in ds's new Big Boy bed.

Hmm

I know.

But I don't think ds is 100% - he has a bit of a fever. And he didn't nap for the first time ever today so he was vile and cranky.

Tomorrow. I WILL do this tomorrow. It WILL be done.

I shall have a child who sleeps for a full night in his own bed.

Q6. What counts as a full night? I am desperately hoping to eventually get 6 hours uninterrupted sleep. Is this unrealistic?

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 21/08/2010 16:55

Okay, when he's sick is not a good time.

I would say six hours is a full night.

You will get there. We did it differently, I used to feed DD at bedtime and then if she woke at 10pm, waited till 10:15 to feed her (cuddling her etc.) so her night feeds crashed into one another and after a few weeks she just didn't bother waking up.

Morloth · 21/08/2010 16:58

Q1. Should I feed him to sleep as normal? In his new bed? I feel as though the new bed should never have a breastfeeding association, but then I also don't want him to hate and blame the new bed for the new regime.

Maybe last feed somewhere other than bedroom but part of bedtime routine. So, feed, bath, story, bed.

Q2. What do I do when he wakes in the night?

Lots of snugs and cuddles, but don't feed him. Perhaps offer sippy cup of water so you know he isn't thirsty. He absolutely still needs comforting, and the easiest way for him to get that is to latch on, but easy isn't always better and as long as you are cuddling him then I think it is pretty certain he will still feel safe and loved.

Q3. How about if he creeps in to my bed and latches on without me noticing? It has happened many times before.

Wear a bra for a few nights, probably an old one so it is comfy.

Q4. How do I stay strong when he screams (which he will) and wakes dd (which he will)?

"This will pass, this will pass, this will pass" repeat as needed.

Q5. Actually, is this a really stupid plan? Shall I just wait until he naturally stops waking to feed overnight? Surely he will do eventually? And if not, then there will be a natural break when he leaves home to go to university or get married? (JOKE).

He will stop naturally eventually, it is up to you whether you want to wait for that to happen or if you need the sleep now. Not a stupid plan though.

Morloth · 21/08/2010 17:00

Oh and agree if he is sick don't do it now, wait until he is all better.

RubyBuckleberry · 21/08/2010 19:15

Hi Yuno, deffo don't do it when he is sick - wait till all is settled again. When you decide to do it, stick with your plan, whatever you decide, and you will get there. The 'boring' in the night worked for us - DS went from waking 5 times to sleeping ten hours in a row the next night. He only fussed for two minutes each time. 4am was a bit more difficult - I gave him some water and rubbed his back... I had to convince him that I would come when he cried but that he didn't really need me to be/fall asleep...

Anyway, good luck! Def. not a stupid plan Grin.

Babieseverywhere · 22/08/2010 09:43

My older children both night weaned around the 2 year mark.

DD1 was already in her own bed in her own room. I offered water when she woke at night. She would drink the water and go back to sleep. DD1 started sleeping through a couple of nights of water offering.

With DS who was still co-sleeping at the time. I told him that he milk was only for daytime and he just accepted it ! Then I moved him gradually to his own bed, which seems to have worked this week. Thank goodness as we have a newborn in our bed now.

Personally I would try to night wean whilst he still co-sleeps and then introduce a new bed. I think managing two changes at the same time could make things harder for him and you.

Good luck :)

theboobmeister · 22/08/2010 18:27

My DD also night-weaned at 2, and moved into her own bed a few months later (she still creeps back in the middle of the night, though).

Could you do the two things separately? Each alone is quite a big change for a little'un.

With night weaning I explained beforehand that we weren't going to have boobie at night anymore, and that when she woke up we would have a nice cuddle instead. For 2 nights, when she woke up we had nice cuddles plus angry screaming! But from night 3 onwards it was fine and we never looked back.

A few months later we bought her a big girls bed, we spent many weeks with her talking about it and reading stories on it before she slept there. We talked about it like an exciting, positive step and said she could decide when she wanted to give it a try. Also told her she could creep into my bed when she woke up. And that worked fine!

Original poster
YunoYurbubson · 22/08/2010 18:31

He still has a fever. Not tonight.

I think my resolve is waning. I am just so damn tired I am not sure I have it in me to start up a crying, wailing, gnashing, weaning circus at night.

I do appreciate your posts though. God, it would be so much better for everyone if he would just sleep at night.

Ho hum. Decision made for me tonight anyway.

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 22/08/2010 18:36

Q1. Should I feed him to sleep as normal? In his new bed? I feel as though the new bed should never have a breastfeeding association, but then I also don't want him to hate and blame the new bed for the new regime.

I would tell him that from now on you are not able to bf him in this new bed and make up some crap excuse why not e.g wrong angle or material it's made out of - he's 2, he will believe you

Q2. What do I do when he wakes in the night?
Prepare him beforehand that he wont be able to feed and comfort him when he wakes but keep your breasts firmly off limit

Q3. How about if he creeps in to my bed and latches on without me noticing? It has happened many times before.

Wear a bra and sleep on your front - be alert at all times

Q4. How do I stay strong when he screams (which he will) and wakes dd (which he will)?

Block out the cries, he will cry for a few nights but keep your goal in mind of stopping and focus on that

Q5. Actually, is this a really stupid plan? Shall I just wait until he naturally stops waking to feed overnight? Surely he will do eventually? And if not, then there will be a natural break when he leaves home to go to university or get married? (JOKE).

I had to do the above to stop both mine feeding. It wasnt easy but I really wanted to stop so saw it through.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread