HAs anyone given up breastfeeding and not felt guilty?

[zeeboo]

I've been struggling with feeding for the 11 weeks of DDs life. We use shields as she won't latch properly, in the early days this meant pain and cracking/bleeding and so the shields were necessary for healing but now she won't feed without them. Ive had mastitis three times due to poor drainage.

We also have other issues, including her feeding every hour for half an hour, her not sleeping for longer than 35 mns at a time except at night when she can go two-three hours some times.

Basically, I don't think I want to keep struggling any more. I gave her a bottle tonight and she drank it down, burped and went to sleep happily and has been asleep 3 hours now. She seemed to happy afterwards whereas usually after a feed she's crying and unsettled or dozy but not asleep.
She's generally a very unhappy baby and I think she's tired and possibly hungry. She is gaining weight and growing fine though.

My worry is that I'll regret giving up breastfeeding despite now being perfectly happy in my own mind with the decision to mixed feed with a view that it's ok if my milk gradually dries up. I'm sure BF vs FF threads here won't help!

So, anyone out there who's done a similar thing and not looked back?

Yes, I did 16 years ago and my DD1 is beautiful and talented and has not been at all ill or disadvataged by being fed ff from 3 weeks old (neither has DD2 who only had one bf before going onto ff).

I'm sad that it didn't work out but not guilty. I said on another thread earlier this week that I cannot describe the relief I felt when she took a bottle, seemed content and we both stopped crying.

But at the end of the day it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you know in your heart that you've done your best (and 11 weeks is good going)then that's all that matters.

I do know the benefits of bf but I really can't understand why people get so het up by other peoples' feeding choices.

You are your DD's mom and you know what's best for both of you. Be happy with your choice and enjoy your baby (it goes by in the blink of an eye - sniff).

Thanks TB. My older children are all formula fed babies so I know that they do grow up just fine. Its the act of giving up that I'm finding hard...

I think a bit of guilt and sadness at the loss of the intamacy BF gives you is inevitable. BUT that does not mean that its not the best thing for you to do.

I had to FF after only a few days and it was def the best decision. But I still missed it

The guilt flies out of the window as soon as you see your baby drink that bottle, look content and fall asleep! :)

We've just started a "FF support" thread here, come and say hello!

In fact, I might add - I felt more guilt when I was bf and getting it all wrong and he spent a lot of time crying & upset! I know also that he wasn't getting enough to eat... how's that for guilt? :(

I have been happier both times once I stopped bf than when feeding.....I am sure, in fact, that my bf is connected to my PND (not that you needed to know that). I have not a moment's guilt: anything is better than nothing. I honestly believe that doing what was best for me was also best for the girls, since I a happier Mom means a happier baby. And you can't be happy if you are constantly worried that your baby isn't happy. You are doing the right thing. And don't go on any feeding threads (except supportive ff ones)

started mixed feeding with dd after 4.5 months of us both crying, not sleeping and general despair. Mixed fed til 7m then swapped to ff best thing I ever did, hellish bf experience directly linked to my pnd.

With ds gave up completely at 5m as I felt myself slowly going crazy with the restriction of bf and also developed insomnia again as I knew I was going to be up every night and this prevented me from sleeping. Both times without guilt. Iwas v unhappy bf, and a desperately unhappy mother isn't great for a baby.

No need to feel guilty - all babies are different and you are being a brilliant mum by understanding your baby and giving her what she needs ie moving to FF. I'm from a generation where almost all babies were bottle fed - my mum said that women were given an injection in hospital to stop milk production after birth as a matter of course - and we're all ok. So well done you on taking a difficult but positive step to nurture your baby. Best wishes.

Zeeboo Please, please don't feel guilty about FF. It's understandable you want do what's best for your DC, but the thing to remember, (and I'm sure lots of parents on MN will tell you this), when you are giving your DC FM, you are NOT GIVING THEM POISON.

You know you're doing well and have nothing to worry about when:-
a) Your LO is happy, well fed and contented,
b) You are happy and content that your LO is
c) LO is thriving and you can imagine them giving you grief when they're a teenager
But most of all, you should be proud you are ensuring you child's survival.

Keep us posted on how you're getting on.

Zeeboo do not waste this precious time on guilt. It sounds like you have come to a decision you are happy with so just enjoy your baby and don't beat yourself up about it.

i gave up breastfeeding both mine and didn't feel guilty about it. perhaps that was because i didn't join mn until after that point

my view on it, is it was my decision and i do not have to justify myself to anyone.

Thanks so much ladies. I'm in total shock, she slept for three hours this morning and has now gone to sleep again, with no crying, for another nap. She never slept like this before. She's still mainly had ebm so it's the bottle rather than the milk that's helping. Still, dh has bought a big tub of formula and I'm not afraid to use it!!!

I started mixed feeding at 5 weeks and stopped at around 15. Don't feel guilty. Did what I could and hated doing it.

Meant to say. I do feel guilty now that we misjudged this poor baby and went on and on about how high maintenance she was, and how she wasn't a happy child, which was odd as she always felt happy in utero. Turns out the poor angel was knackered and starving. Today she's been so easy to care for It's unreal.

Great news! Mine too is "easy" now that I get around 6 hours a night sleep over two shifts. Happiness for mum too! No baby needs breastmilk and a half insane, weepy sleep-deprived mummy!