Everyone is telling me to stop breastfeeding

[naturelover]

Well, not everyone, but mainly concerned friends and family (and I know they are well meaning and worried about me).

DS 11mo is a huge hungry boy who also has eczema. He feeds about 7-8 times in a 24-hour period and the night feeds are killing me (once I can handle but often it's 2-3 times at the moment - probably teething).

DS seems to have eczema flare-ups when I eat dairy, eggs, tomatoes, citrus and some other stuff, so I'm eating a pretty limited diet and I'm hungry/having cravings all the time.

I also have depression.

So you can appreciate that the breastfeeding is taking a toll on me (I also have a toddler who doesn't nap, DH working long hours and no childcare).

BUT I like breastfeeding, can't imagine what I could possibly give DS if I gave up, and plan to feed him till at least 18-24 months (as I did my DD).

My RL pro-bf friends all say to co-sleep, but I don't particularly want to and DH is dead against.

Dietitican suggested I supplement him with Nutramigen to "give myself a break" but I've never supplemented with any formula and don't want to if it's not strictly necessary.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

So i assume he's dairy intolerant too?
have you spoken to a breastfeeding counsellor?
what would you give him at 18m?

Why is your DH so against co-sleeping?

I've been where you are - depressed, exhausted with a 1 year old still waking 2-3 times a night to feed. DH was prepared to go with whatever made me feel better - he would go in the spare room often so that DS wouldn't wriggle so much.
Sleep depravation is awful and impacts everything - if you get some sleep then you can at least think straight about everything else.

He definitely seems to be dairy intolerant. We've never dared give him dairy or eggs directly.

At 18mo I thought by then he might tolerate dairy enough to eat yoghurt or cheese like DD did (I never actually gave her cows milk as a drink after I weaned her at 20mo). But deep down I know I will probably bf till he's two.

I haven't spoken to a bf counsellor. I know a good one but I feel bad bothering the poor woman again.

I did co-sleep for 6 months or so but we are not geared up for it at all. It worked while I was on futon in DS's room and before he could roll over. But now that I'm back in the marital bed I'm not keen to co-sleep again as DH light sleeper and plus we're enjoying having our own bed to ourselves after being apart in the early months. It feels like our only special time together with DH working such long hours. And we don't have sidecar cot or even bed rail on the side.

Has he started on solids? If not, you might have more issues with reducing bfing because he's probably intolerant to normal formula as well.

can you night wean? just done it with DS and it is bliss (for now ). i was exhausted and i don't hve any other children!

Which is greater, your desire to continue bfing or your desire to have the bed to yourselves?

He's 11 months now, and you reckon you'd go to 20 months at the most? Is it really so bad to go back to the old sleeping arrangement for what will only be a few more months? Especially if the alternative is no give up bfing?

I'm with the night weaner tbh. If he is a big healthy baby as you suggest, then he doesn't need milk during the night....might be a pain whilst you get him used to water only - but then he may realise that it's not worth waking up for.

And DH could do at least a night a week and give you a break!

Thanks everyone.

I think night weaning is the right thing to do.

My only concern is frequent relapses every time there's an illness or teething. If DS is like DD, then he's due to get lots of teeth in the next 3 months (she had 16 teeth by 14 months!)

Those of you who have night-weaned, have you had relapses and had to re-night wean?

Thanks

OP, it sounds as if discussing your feelings with a breastfeeding counsellor might be helpful.....much of the breastfeeding support is targeted at the early days, to the extent that feelings and challenges to do with feeding an older baby aren't addressed. These might not seem as dramatic as some of the issues associated with the early days.....but can be just as important, for you and your family. It also sounds as if the well meant suggestions of weaning from friends and family leave you feeling unsupported.

Just a thought, and HTH

we haven't had any relapses so far except for the first night on holiday whn i fed him as i was aftraid of waking everyone else up. i was so cross though with him and me (irrational i'm sure) that i knew we were done with night feeding. been fine so far. he made a bit of a racket at the first wake up the next night - protested loudly for on and off for forty minutes - crying, shouting, babbling, and fussing but the next night he slept ten hours again - i do feed him at five so he'll then sleep till seven, but seriously, i feel like a new woman! ive posted on a sleep thread about this - or mybe its the night weaning thread...

here

At 11mths I would go with night weaning if you can't co-sleep.