Am I actally allowed to go to the toilet?

[randommummy]

Help. Am marooned in a chair. DS (1 week old)does not seem to ever be satisfied. I can feed him for 2 hours at a time and he is still displaying signs of rooting. I have had to start giving him a top up of formula in the evening or there really does seem to be no end to it. Am feeling quie despondent and like I am letting him down by doing this. Is this normal? Do people really feed for 24 hours straight? :(

have you spoken to a breastfeeding counsellor at all about your concerns? They may have some practical advice which can help you out?

For the first few weeks it does feel like 24 hours straight. This is a really hard time but also the worst time to start giving formula, he is effectively "ordering in" the milk he needs so if you give him formula your body isn't going to get the feedback that it requires.

Sometimes they just have to wait. I need a shower, I need to cook dinner, I need to use the loo. I try to hold and feed baby as much as possible and DH does a lot of my running. But sometimes they do just need to wait for a bit.

Go to the loo, have a shower, baby might cry. It isn't the end of the world, sometimes they have to be the ones who wait.

random I remember those days well - but please go to the toilet if you need to! We don't want any accidents, and even if DS cries it won't do him any harm.

I am not an expert but babies do become more efficient feeders as they grow so the constant feeding of the early days does get easier. Don't feel despondent, you are doing fantastically, it is bloody hard work and you should be proud of yourself. Keep at it, it is so worthwhile.

Do you think he is feeding all that time, or comfort sucking some of the time? I can tell if DD is feeding properly by the sensation in my boobs but I understand not everyone has this. If comfort sucking, would you consider trying a dummy? I am sure lots of people will be along to tell you not to do this but it might be a way of getting some relief for you?

X posted with morloth and I second everything she says too

Ah poor you!

Constant feeding is normal at this tiny age and good for establishing your supply. Your baby just want to be close to you and get comfort from you.

As you know, offering formula is just telling your body to make less milk, so try and hold off if you can.

Do whatever you can to get through this- can someone bring you food, drinks, books etc. (and then hold DS while you pop to the loo!)? Get comfy and just go with the flow.

It will get better- just hold on in there!

He's probably trying to get off to sleep. It's common for babies to cluster feed at some point within a 24 period. My second did it between 4pm and 9pm. Untill she would eventually have enough and pass out.
Tommorrow or after the next long sleep (4-5hrs)
Think about a 3-4 hourly routine. A proper feed folowed by a period of happy wakefulness then of to sleep with out feeding. In the day you can push out in pram (around garden?) or rock to sleep or try putting them down awake in moses basket either in living room or up in bedroom and see if he drops off.
Sometimes it is necessary to feed them of to sleep but try not to let it be a marathon session. You know he's not really hungry cos he had a proper feed an hour ago.

Try not to expect to much at this stage. Bf isn't established till 8-9weeks. I would stop the formula and carry on just bf. It'll be better for your milk supply. And formula and bottles can give them wind trouble.

This period is purely about survival. Eat, wash sleep all you can and try to get a little fresh air every day. Above all keep talking to any fellow mums you know. You need all the support you can get at this stage.

Don't give up! You're doing great to get this far :-D Most people need support and help to get breast feeding established. I promise it gets easier and quicker!!

Don't feel that you have let him down by giving him formula! Just bare in mind that milk is produced on a supply and demand basis, so if you give it on a regular basis you will make less milk.

Maybe his latch could be improved so he can get your milk more efficiently? Small changes can make a big difference :-)

Have you rung any breast feeding support lines such as the La Leche League?

You can do it! :-D

Please go to the toilet. He will be ok for a few minutes. We had an electronic mobile that lasted for 10 mins so I used to pop them in the cot while I went to the loo or had a shower, sometimes they cried but I don't think they've been scarred for life by it.

And the cluster feeding is normal, frustrating and will drive you up the wall but you'll get there in the end.

Thanks all. DH is beig to good to be true. I haven't lifted a finger all week and he even gets up in the middle of the night with me. I did speak to a breast feeding counsellor wo was great as I was strugling o got a comfy latch so at least I am now comfy and marooned and no longer in agoney and marooned!

I will persevere and hope that it gets easier

Random - do you have a sling? If you put him in it between feeds you may find he settles a bit more and you can get off the sofa for a while. His tummy is only as big as a walnut at the moment so it will empty as quickly as he fills it. It does get easier - honest :)

You say he's still rooting, but is he actually upset? After 2 hours solid feeding I might try bundling him up and taking him for a nice walk (or even better get your dh to so you can go to the loo / maybe even eat something :)) and see if he has a snooze. Then when he wakes up he'll be all ready for some more milk :)

I once got a bit overwhelmed and put crying DS in his moses basket and had the quickest most guilt ridden shower in the world, when I went back to him he was asleep!

Sometimes they can't calm down when they can smell your milk, even if they aren't particularly hungry.

I second getting a sling. I like the moby wrap sling (baby bjorn type things not nearly as comforting for baby or comfortable for you).

When they just want comforting baby will be happy in there, when really hungry baby will cry to come out and feed. Plus, over time you'll learn to feed baby whilst they're positioned in the sling, so you've got arms free!

It's exhausting, isn't it? I found a wrap invaluable in the early days - I had a kari-me. I also discovered that he would go straight to sleep if I put him in his Moses basket, pre-warmed for a minute or so with a hot water bottle (check the temperature of the mattress before putting him in, though!) and then put the hoover on right next to him. This bought me valuable minutes to go to the loo/make a cuppa and a sandwich.

Hang in there. The first few days are unbeleivably intense but it does get easier - a LOT easier.

my daughter was doing this until a couple of days ago, she is now two weeks old. She would constantly want feeding and would cry and root and eat her hands etc withing a minute of me putting her down. She still has very frequeny feeds but they do have a beginning and and end rather than one long mega feed. I also have a dummy for if the feed is going on forever and she is not actually really eating just playing or chewing (she stops swallowing and just wants the nipple resting in her mouth while she either looks around or sleeps). I wrapping her up nice and tightly in her blanket so that her arms cant flail and give her the dummy and just hold her really close she falls asleep really peacefully. If she is still hungry at all the dummy is spat straight out again ! I was worried about giving her the dummy but that along with her just getting quicker and feeding has really helped. I even managed to cook a meal the last two days!

Going to the toilet will only take a minute or two! Go and do it. Take a soft pillow in with you, put your baby down on the floor on it and talk to him so he knows you are there. Maybe do something really diverting like singing Baa Baa Black Sheep while you pee. YOu are totally allowed to go to the loo, wash and eat. These are basic human rights and your baby will not implode while you do them. If he is only crying for five minutes seven times a day (one quick shower, three sandwich/food breaks and three loo breaks) then you are doing bloody well. Wraps and slings really are your friend right now.

Like spiderlight, white noise was my friend. DD would nap really deeply next to the washing machine and I am pretty sure that with a one week old baby you can definitely find some washing to put on!

Good luck. And remember it's really normal at this stage and in a few weeks time you'll hardly be able to believe how much easier it's become!

apologies for the many many errors in my typing!

Sitting on the loo with a latched-on baby? Yep, been there and done that - doubt I'm not the only one either

Sounds like my DS at a week old (he's 4 weeks old now, and things have got a bit better!) -

What I learnt was: -

There's a growth spurt at 7-10 days, which involved near constant feeding for us. Epic cluster feeds in the evening where like you, I wondered when I had time to go for a pee, let alone anything else. I found it exhausting, demoralising and depressing - and I have none of the grim problems some other mums seem to have with BF-ing, gawd knows how they cope.

No one encouraging me to BF when pregnant warned me about this, btw - so I also worried there was something wrong with my supply, or my baby. I've also found talking to friends who started out BF-ing but then fed formula early on that they 1st introduced bottles round about 1 week - I think partly out of exhaustion, but largely out of fear and worry that their baby was starving. They feed so much and seem so fussy/unhappy, and you can't tell how much they are getting, if any. Etc.

It did pass! And it is just a baby's way of 'ordering' an increase in supply. Which kicked in after 2 days of just crazy constant feeding for us, and then it all calmed down a bit.

It didn't help that my DS didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, when he actually slept (talk of 1 week old babies who apparently slept for 4-5 hours just made me jealous and resentful). And being told to go for a walk made me cry - I could barely get time for a poo, let alone a poo/quick shower/time to get dressed/get baby dressed/into buggy and out of the front door. ALso being told to 'enjoy it' made me feel very inadequate at the time, and like a horrible mum. I didn't enjoy it - I just toughed it out, and I'm afraid that was the best I could do! But I'm still BF-ing at 4 weeks and counting, and baby is doing well, so frankly, that's fine.

So, erm - I have no advice, just lots of sympathy. I really think the 7-10 day growth spurt and cluster feeding is a killer - you're still knackered from birth, but you feel like you should be getting on top of things a little, etc. It's one of nature's bad jokes, IMO! But it does end, so if you can Endure and Survive this bit, you are doing brilliantly, and you can go to the toilet with some degree of dawdling at 4 weeks...!

Yup I've fed on the loo too. DH went away for a week when eldest was 6 wkd old, and I managed only one shower the whole time (and even then he was on the bathroom floor and I was singing (mildly hysterically) to him the whole time. And with the littlest, I've fed her in my arms whilst chasing others round a playground. They really are tyrants!

It does space out a bit as they get older. Hang on in there - it's worth it.

Another one for feeding on the loo, I also used to put DD in the pram and wheel it into the bathroom when I had a bath!

I have nothing to add but my sympathy and empathy. DS is nearly 3 weeks old and I have been glued to him for ... ever, it feels like! I am going to try to get the feeding in a sling thing working or I will go mad. Good to know I am not alone though!

It's good to know it is not just me.

Been through much the same but feeding intervals have got longer now he's 5 weeks. Still have times where i have to put him down screaming in his moses basket so that i can have a shower/go to the loo. Feel incredibly guilty but it's crazy to feel like this. We're doing only the best we can.

Good luck randommummy.