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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

i could cope with cluster feeding if...

27 replies

Emster30 · 13/08/2010 03:10

it lasted less than six hours at a time

it finished before 3am so i could get some sleep

ds didn't constantly fuss on the boob, pulling away painfully, giving me really tender nipples/breasts

i could get comfortable feeding in bed

dh didn't get stressed about it and constantly go on about how he thought newborns were supposed to sleep for 16 hours a day, while this one on;y seems to sleep for 7-9 hours

someone talk me out of giving a bottle of formula!

OP posts:
tortoiseonthehalfshell · 13/08/2010 03:59

Oh, gosh, you poor thing.

How old is DS?

Comfortable in bed is easier when they're a little bit bigger (we managed it brilliantly at around 10 weeks, not before that though), and it's a lifesaver. And the feeding gets much faster and the gaps between get much bigger.

And when that stuff gets easier, breastfeeding is much easier than formula feeding. Hang in there!

whomovedmychocolate · 13/08/2010 04:42

Don't do the formula thing - the cluster feeding thing is indeed a nightmare but get through it and you will know you can keep going through whatever life throws at you because you've sat there at 2am for your child and put up with it.

It does get easier. The four month one bit was the worst for both of mine. But honestly, it passes, you survive and your children end up with super dooper immune systems.

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 13/08/2010 04:55

Up ironing? At quarter to 5 in the morning? Are you completely bonkers?

whomovedmychocolate · 13/08/2010 05:42

Yes frankly I am. I've also cleaned the bathroom.

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 13/08/2010 06:40

Well that I can sort of maybe a little bit understand. Ironing?

rubyslippers · 13/08/2010 07:15

DD cluster fed from 5 - 9 of sn evening

I also had a toddler to sort so it was failry full on

You have to accept it I think - easier said than done as it feels so relentless

DD used to pull on and off as well so it wasn't pleasant

BUT it did pass albeit in a bit of a blur and haze of tears (mine)

Stick with it ... Breast feeding is a doodle once the cluster feeding passes

Dd is now 10 months and a feed is about 6 mins maximum and she screws her nose up at me and won't latch on if she doesn 't want to feed

It is tiring and exhausting but it doesn't last forever

StealthPolarBear · 13/08/2010 07:16

How does he feed in general? How old is he, and how's he doing with the weeing/pooing/weight gain?

Misspaella · 13/08/2010 08:24

Emster I struggled so badly with cluster feeding with DC3 and it would really wind me up that NO ONE I knew who BF, had a baby who would cluster feed. I even started doubting myself when my friends who bf would question why he was feeding nonstop.

Sometimes I would post on MN just to vent. That really helped.

After weeks of this madness I did give a bottle of ebm just to get a couple hours break. DC3 would feed nonstop from 1pm-9pm and with 2 children (4 and 2 at the time) it was a bad time to be stuck on the sofa. And it was painful. Tiring. Relentless.

But it really did not last. By 12 weeks it suddenly stopped and thankfully he never even restarted cluster feeding during growth spurts (just slept more, phew!)

Smile
pinata · 13/08/2010 09:43

I feel your pain. We're in cluster feeding hell as well and formula looks quite attractive for the sake of a few hours uninterrupted sleep. Dh has never been able to understand my aversion

but I am trying to keep positive and believe that it will pass. Everything does, after all. A few weeks ago we had a green poo phase that o thought would go on forever bit one day just stopped. This will be the same. It will it will!

We have everything you mention going on, btw, for the last 3 nights or so. Ds is nearly 13 weeks

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/08/2010 09:49

Emster - check his mouth for white patches/areas. All that fussing can sometimes indicate thrush in the mouth which makes feeding uncomfortable.

Other than that, just hang in there. Is DH doing his bit and looking after you, making sure you've got food, drinks, something good to watch on the telly?

It does get better, I promise it does :) Soon it will be a faint memory and you will have all the ease of BFing :)

NonnoMum · 13/08/2010 09:55

I had a cluster feeder who would go from 7pm-11pm,or sometimes even 2am! HV was no help and didn't believe that he was feeding.

I did do the odd bottle of formula and then he went off bottles completely for a few months.

We did get through it and now he is the best sleeper of all 3 of mine.

Good luck.

FessaEst · 13/08/2010 09:57

Well done you for getting this far!! It is soooo hard but it does end! I thought it never would, DD cluster fed from 4 until midnight some days and cried if I so much as went for a wee. My DH was the same as yours, constantly pointing out what a problem it was. One evening she just pulled off and wanted putting down instead and has never realy cluster fed since! Try and make the most of it, DVD boxsets, loads of sky+, dinner/snacks/drinks on a tray, remote and phones to hand. I managed to read quite a lot once I had mastered the best position for her to be in while I did. Demand to be looked after, while you look after your baby. It will not go on for ever, and once it's over you might even miss it a bit!! [ grin]

MumNWLondon · 13/08/2010 10:10

Oh poor you. Can you start it earlier or pump earlier in the day and give a bottle of EBM? Or pull him off at midnight?

Although if he's fussing and pulling away maybe he doesn't actually want to feed? DD was like that, and was actually happier when we restricted feeds to 1 hour (and waiting an hour inbetween). Think she had tummy ache from constant eating.

barkfox · 13/08/2010 10:29

emster30, it's really grim, isn't it.

No one encouraging me to BF ever mentioned cluster feeding before DS was born - I only found out about it on MN, and was half encouraged and half utterly miserable to find it was 'normal.' Encouraged because I wasn't 'doing it wrong' (my DP was also alarmed by it, and it so doesn't help, does it) - miserable because I hate being Stuck On the Sofa, with DS on/off, yelping/fussing/falling asleep for 30 seconds/rooting 10 seconds later...
for HOURS.

And yes, all that stuff about how newborns spend most of the day asleep doesn't help.

Dunno how old yours is - mine is 4 weeks and it's really been much better this last week. (and I can express so DP can do 2 x night feeds with a bottle - this, after an evening of cluster feeding, feels like time off for good behaviour...).

Must look up when the next growth spurt is and brace myself!

[personally, cluster feeding would be easier for me if books came in BF-friendly formats - small, light, easy to crack spines, easy to hold with one hand, etc. I tried a hardback the other day - strained my wrist after nearly dropping it on DS's head. I'm an idiot.]

CUNextTuesday · 13/08/2010 10:54

barkfox now there's an idea if ever I heard one...!

Original poster
Emster30 · 13/08/2010 11:36

He's nearly 4 weeks old, so still very little. eventually got him to sleep at 4am - fed him to sleep and then i put him down onn thebit of bed i had been lying on so it was warm and melt of me, and then dh and i snuggled up on the remaining few inches of his side of the bed...

am feeding him now and it's so sore again now after all the pulling - just when bfing had finally got less painful!

i agree aboyut the books - tried to read my new copy of the mumsnet guide t babies while feeding, but the spine is just too unbroken and it's too heavy!

OP posts:
Original poster
Emster30 · 13/08/2010 11:48

btw thanks for all the advice and support. he is producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies and putting on lots of weight. he will go for 3 hours or so between feeds in the day but not at night!

off to breastfeeding support group in a bit,i have been every week so far and it is great.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/08/2010 12:23

Emster it sounds like you are doing a great job :)

I could never get the hang of reading while BFing either, was TV all the way in this house!

For DC2 I was wondering whether to get a Kindle, but then realised that most of the time I am BFing DC2, I will be reading 'The Tiger Who Came to Tea' or somesuch to DS!

MumNWLondon · 13/08/2010 15:44

Emster - we managed to move things around so that the 3 hours gaps were at night. During the night I fed him for an hour, generally 30 mins on each side. Once the hour was up DH took over, sat on the birth ball (!) and bouncing with him (fully swaddled), with dummy in mouth. Once he was asleep properly put down in crib, if he woke before the 3 hours were up when repeated the same (no feed, more bouncing), within a couple of nights the cluster feeding was in the day and he was going 3 hourly at night. Did mean a few nights of neither of us sleeping but it was worth it).

Ragwort · 13/08/2010 15:47

Sorry to be ignorant but could someone please explain what cluster feeding is? It's over 10 years since I was breast feeding and it seems like a new thing - not that I am intending to breast feed again Grin.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/08/2010 15:56

Ragwort - it is when your baby just wants to BF all evening and any attempt to remove them from the boob results in yelling and crying until they are latched on again.

I think it is a Good Thing that it has a name, because then Mums who are frazzled and thinking 'WTF is happening here, do I have the demon child from Hell' know that it isn't just them and millions have been there before them.

Ragwort · 13/08/2010 16:00

Thanks Ali (glad my b/feeding days are behind me !)

Astronaut79 · 13/08/2010 16:34

I thought cluster feeding would never end, but it says something that now, with DS 10.5mo, I'd completely forgotten he ever did it until i saw this thread. At least it's summer so you won't be literally freezing your tits off whilst you sit there all night with both boobs exposed switching from left to right and envying dh, who gets to watch telly in peace! :o

Morloth · 13/08/2010 16:40

Give him a nudge through the day and see if he will feed more often. Don't even have to wake him up, just scoop him up and see if he will latch on. If his eyes are open, offer the boob, if he opens his mouth offer the boob. Make plenty of noise around him in the daytime and make sure it is nice and bright, really chatty etc.

Cluster feeding has an upside, I have so much milk this time.

omnishambles · 13/08/2010 16:47

Emster - do you have a strong letdown from the other side while you're feeding (especially first thing) - could you collect it in those plastic shells and feed that in the evening as well?

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