16 month old, shall i stop? how do you stop?

[digggers]

Hey!

I have a 16 month old ds, who is self night weaned (has been since about 9 months), eats solids like a horse, drinks milk enthusiastically from a cup and only has a couple of feeds tops a day.

He usually asks for one at some point during the day, but not desperately and can usually be distracted if I'm busy. He'll sometimes want a feed on waking, but again, not consistently or desperately. I give him a feed as part of his bedtime routine, and this is the only one the day that I offer. He always takes this, but increasinly isn't really feeding, is just lying with my nipple in his mouth smiling and chatting and cuddling and haven't the occasional suckle. He goes to bed without my there fine, with a cup of milk.

So it occurs to me that he probably wouldn't miss breastfeeding that much if I stopped now. I'm not desperate to stop as I've loved it and some part of me doesn't ever want to lose that bond. But also, I feel in some way I would like to move on, and maybe I should be doing something about it now?

I've heard anecdotally that if you want to stop then stop before 18 months, as bf ing can increase again then. Not keen to increase it tbh. Don't mind it as it is, and quite like the fact that I am still doing it for when he is ill or upset, but not keen on the frequency going up...

If I was to stop, then do I need to be giving him more cows milk? Infact should I be giving him more cows milk than I am now? He'll maybe have a cup a day.

And if i do stop, is it just a case of not offering any more, and distracting him when he asks? And what will happen? Will I get sore boobs? Will he be OK?

Is there any reason to continue?

You could try the never offer, never refuse route and play it by ear?

DS is 19m and still feeds in the night sometimes, plus bedtime and before nap. He will nap in pushchair or in car etc without it, and will go to bed without if I'm not here. He will not let me put him to bed without a feed though.

I haven't noticed an increase recently, if anything he is less fussed, certainly some feeds are very short. He is feeding more in night at moment due to bloody molars driving him mad - had nearly managed to night wean

I don't think you would get sore as it has been tailing off so gradually. Reason to continue - he still benefits from antibodies etc and if you both like it I suppose

Stop if you want to or he wants to. If you both like it, there is no reason too. It sounds like it's been tailing off naturally for some time now, you may find that he continues to ask less and less until there are days instead of hours between feeds.

If you want to stop, try don't offer, don't refuse for a while. If that doesn't end it, or doesn't end it quickly enough, start distracting until you are down to one feed then finish by counting him down the last few days of feeding. Replace that feed with a special new cup or teddy or extra cuddles if you need to.

And he will be ok. DS was 22mo when we finally stopped- I'd been doing don't offer, don't refuse for 9 months but he was an avid feeder, still feeding 5/6 times a day at this point. I thought he'd be gutted when we finally stopped but he was fine. Asked once or twice afterwards but was fine when I put him off.

The 18 mo idea hasn't been the case for me. DS has been on two feeds a day only, morning and bedtime, since he was 1, and is 19 mos now. He doesn't ask at other times, but now does ask in the morning and sometimes at bedtime, ie when he'll get fed anyway. I am expecting to stop completely sometime in the next few months but I'm not in a massive hurry, especially since it is pretty manageable. However, tonight he refused a feed from me initially and nodded when I asked if he wanted milk in his bottle - having had that, though, he then fed from me. So I'm wondering if this is a one off or the start of self weaning. He doesn't feed for anywhere near as long in the morning either. I will probably try eventually not offering the morning feeds and then not offering the bedtime ones - not looking forward to that as it gives me an easy route to bedtime at the moment!

My son has just turned 18 months and I haven't noticed any increase, except when he was teething a couple of weeks ago and then all he wanted to do was feed! But since the teeth came through he's been back to normal - about three feeds during the day and normally nothing at night. How long you go on is entirely up to you. If you're both enjoying it then there's nothing wrong with continuing, but if you've had enough then you can congratulate yourself on feed your baby for this long and give your body a well earned break! I find that my son is fine if we miss a feed, for example if I'm out in the evening, so feeding him doesn't restrict me in any way. My second son weaned himself naturally at 22 months, so the feeding wont go on for ever whatever you decide!

Thank you all!

Anyone got any perspective on the milk thing? How'smuch cows milk should he be getting? X

He doesn't need cows milk at all, providing there are other sources of fat and calcium in his diet. It's not really a "requirement" so much as an easy source of certain nutrients. :)