BFing 17mo - any pointers?

[IsItMeOr]

Happily BFing 17mo DS, although thankfully not at night for several months now. I have offered feeds during the day at regular times since he started eating significant amounts of solids, and had settled into a pattern of offering feeds:

When he wakes in the morning
After breakfast
After his nap (morning)
After lunch
Sometimes mid-afternoon if we are at home
Before bedtime

Until a couple of weeks ago, he had never done the hand down top thing, but now he has started doing it all the time (or so it seems. Thankfully only at home - for now ).

Although he can't say any words yet, he makes it clear an increasing number of times during the day (on top of the usual feeds above) that he would like milk. Plus he will stop feeding and wander off, then come back in a minute and shove his hand down my top again, while urgently "uh, uh, uhing" loudly.

Does anybody have any experience/advice on how best to respond to him? At the mo, sometimes I'll offer if it's been a while since his last feed, other times I'll try and distract with something else.

Thanks!

If you don't like the hand down top thing (and I didn't to be honest) you could try removing his hand and saying 'You want milkies/nursies/nums/uh-uhs/bah(DD1's own word for nursing)/whatevers?'.

You can then (hopefully) teach him to ask using the word you have given nursing and once he can say the word consistently then refuse to nurse if he just sticks his hand down your top.

Or try gently saying 'no grabbing' and moving his hand away.

This phase doesn't last for very long and to be honest with DD1 it was easier to just indulge her when she went through a bah all day phase (admittedly it was just after DD2 was born so was about 20 m/o). It was a bit killing her with kindness but it worked and she got over her need to nurse all day within a few days.

I found nursing manners were very important to maintaining a good nursing relationship between me and my DCs. I have some things that I will not do with a toddler (nurse whilst I'm in the bath/on toilet/NO mugging/etc), some expectations of politeness (please/thank you). Obviously these things will vary from dyad to dyad as everyone has there no-go zones (I DO NOT nurse toddlers whilst on the loo but I will make an exception for tiny babies if I'm desperate and so are they). It's all about being age appropriate.

Well done to the both of you for making it to 17 months and I hope you carry on as long as you both want to continue nursing.

Have you tried not offering the feeds, and seeing if your DS falls into a different pattern? I am loosely practising "never offer, never refuse"...so more like "rarely offer, rarely refuse" and it works well for us.

I will talk quite firmly to DS (and sometimes cover myself up for a minute) if he is being indecisive or if he has bad nursing manners. It will snap his mind onto whether he does actually want to feed properly, or go away and play.

DS's first word for nursing was "boobie" . I thought we were stuck for life but luckily have totally changed it to Mmmik, phew .

Sorry for not replying to thank you both sooner - I have been thinking about your tips.

I assume that never/rarely offer/refuse is what it sounds like? I'm honestly not going to drop the morning and bedtime feeds because they work for us, but I'll have a think about the following his lead for the rest of the day.

Thanks for your help .