cruel to send in DH with water at night?

[naturelover]

DS is 11 mo and still feeds 1-2 times a night. Once I can handle, but twice is killing me for some reason.

DH works long hours, no childcare, no family nearby, a toddler who doesn't nap, I'm suffering from PND and broken nights not helping.

Any advice about night-weaning?

Thanks

There is another post further down the board today about someone nightweaning their 10 month old with some success by offering water.
I think if you have PND then you need to get some sleep to get better and it would be worth a try, although it will be hard, as he will be awake for longer than if you just feed to start with, and that is GRIM! Does your DH have any leave he could take, to help you. There is some advice about nightweaning here www.sleepytot.com/sleepytot_community/articles/how_to_wean_baby_off_night_feeds.phtml
Good luck!

Well I did it, along with a number of friends, so if it is cruel, we are all evil.
Does he fall asleep feeding? I used to do the feed at 10-11ish but once DD1 hit 11 months I got pregnant again and couldn't cope, anything from 12-6am was met with DH and a bottle of water, took about 3 or 4 nights and then she got the idea, after that I would go in with water and after a few weeks of waking eveyr few nights she slept through and has done since.

Not cruel, he might be thirsty. Have you try a dummy?
bumping so you get somebody more competent to answer.

Sorry, the thread is on the sleep board not the breastfeeding one

Oh another thing, she got very pissed off thsoe first few nights and screamed, so any benefit to me was lost as I lay awake in my bed crying Be prepared for him to be cross and to cry, as long as your DH is there comforting him then he is not going to come to any harm. I do recommend sleeping on the sofa or with earplugs though!

sympathies, its so exhausting when they get to this age and are still going (and your not alone, my DC3 just turned one and still has a dream feed).

Is there one feed she always wants, and another that she sometimes misses? If yes, I'd try settling her when she wakes for the "sometimes" feed.

TBH, I have not seen the water thing work, because they just get cranky as they don't really need a drink, just want the boob (I'm assuming BFing?). But worth a try, just in case she is hot and thirsty.

With my DD, I go in, pick her up straight away (because even though the books say not to, I know she only gets worked up if I try to pat her or sing or whatever), give her a cuddle until she calms, then put her back down. Sometimes she then goes straight off, sometimes she cries for a few minutes and then goes off, and sometimes I need to go in again.

I hope that helps? Obviously only my experience, but thats how we've got DD off her 4am feed a couple of months ago, and she rarely wakes between 10/11pmj dream feed and 6.30 am now.

Good luck.

We did it when our ds was about 12/13mo He didn't want a feed he wanted some boob and I was knackered from him waking every 2 hours.

I sent dh in with a beaker of milk and the first 2 nights he had a bit if it and ge never woke again. He goes 6.30 - 7 now. He genuinly didn't seem bothered by it. I don't think feeding at night is necessary really once they get over a year old or so.

Good luck with it

sorry, I see you have a ds not a dd

This thread is really helpful for me - DD is almost 14 months and waking her her bottle up to twice a night. Am going to try and wind it down over the course of this week (greeted her w sippy cup at 2am, then 90mls of milk at 5:30am last night which is a big improvement from offering 2 full bottles) w the plan to be through with this by Monday. Am pregnant w twins and do not want to be monkeying around w DD and newborns come November.

naturelover - if your DS is bottle fed could you try and cut down the milk offered (ie offer water first, then milk) over the course of the few nights it sounds like this takes? That's what I am doing. DD is about to find herself offered water only v soon. Which isn't cruel, IMO - she is v pampered and now, as a family, we need to limit this a bit.

Well I know this is how my mum night weaned me (not sure at what age) but it only took a couple of nights apparently before I stopped bothering to wake up.
I don't consider her cruel

Thanks everyone, that is all food for thought.

Yes he is bf.

When I asked if it was cruel, I meant for his young age! Obviously not cruel to give water. I was just unsure how much he needs food (ie milk) at 11mo.

FYI he has eczema and multiple food intolerances so breastmilk IS a big part of his calories, but I do make a point of trying to offer him milk a lot during the day - but it's difficult with a toddler to distract him.

Pead. told me that after 6 months if the baby is on targuet weight or above and weaned, they don't "need" milk/food at night. They still might want confort, sucking, water/drink, playing....
If he is "under"weight and catching up, he might still need the milk...
Does that help?

I know what you meant re cruel, they are still babies but equally there comes a time when their needs and your needs must diverge a teeny bit, and he can drink/eat enough in the day to tide him over by this age, so don't worry

Thanks mamaloco - DS is on 98th centile so clearly not short of food!

YANBU. He's big and old enough to see himself through the night with just a drink of water. Those Anywayup cups are good - teach him to use it in the day then you can leave a cup of water in his cot for him to find himself. He can't choke himself because water won't come out unless you suck the spout quite hard.

I did it at 7 months with DS1 - he was FF and weaned onto solids. At that age don't need milk in the night and not sure they need water either (although you can put an anyway up cup in the cot perhaps).

We did the going in every x number of minutes - and not picking up - stroking to try and calm, left room as soon as he was quiet, of course screaming started straightaway but waited the x number of minutes to repeat so quite a lot of crying for the first 2 nights (started on a friday night so we could both do it). It took a few nights, and within a week he was sleeping 7-7.

maybe i am evil but we all needed our sleep.

Not cruel, I weaned from bf to ff at 5 months and introduced solids at 5.5 months with ds, at 6 months he was still taking a 7oz bottle in the night and refusing milk in the morning so I made the decision to cut out the night feed.

I reduced the milk by an oz a night then substituted for water, dh did most of it. Then stopped water all together after 2 weeks of this just cuddles etc. back to sleep. did gradual withdrawal for 2 nights at 7 months which involved some crying but after 2 nights ds slept through. You could try cutting the time spent fb by a minute a night perhaps?

Or just go for it with the water and put up with a few nights of screaming. They don't need milk through the night at this age.