bf 3 day old - doesn't seem to want to eat?

[catherinewho]

My baby is 3 days old today and I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance and advice..

We are getting the hang of latching on, but it can take a while - between 10 minutes to an hour and half so far (if he does it at all). Then most of the time he will refuse to stay on the breast and starts crying until I can get him to go back on. The most he will feed for at a time is about 10 minutes before coming off so I have been putting him back on over and over again until he falls asleep - and this can take a good couple of hours.

He seems much worse in the evening and through the night as he hasn't been waking up for food at these times - I have been waking him after 4 hours. However he does wake up early in the morning.

I'm really worried he's not eating enough as the most he feeds for is about 30 minutes in total and in the evening it's more like 10-15 minutes and this is over about 2 hours of trying over and over again (he won't constantly feed if you get what I mean) and am I right to wake him if he doesn't seem to want to feed?

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense and I think I've repeated myself a few times but I'm too tired to check it properly!!!

Thank you in advance for anything you can say to help!!!!

catherine - what's the midwife say? The early days can be a bit fraught, and it's understandable you're upset.

It's sensible to wake a new baby in the night, because long hours with no milk at this stage is not good.

The length of his feeds sound normal - he does not have to be on for a minimum time and it is normal for the time on the breast to vary a lot. It's more important (for breastfeeding to become established and easy) that he feeds often enough...keeping him close to your body and letting him sleep in your arms will mean it's easier to ensure he gets fed as soon as there are 'feeding cues'. Struggling to make him stay on for longer is not normally helpful - he does need to be able to drop off comfortably

catherine, I am sure someone with more experience will be along soon but just thought I would let you know that my DD did not latch on properly until day 4. We were kept in the hospital until she started to feed properly. She would not waken for a feed and did not cry at all. At this stage, I was told by midwives to waken her every 3-4 hours to feed but to leave it no longer than that. Once she started to feed I was told not to let her sleep any longer than 6 hours without wakening her for a feed. TBH, once she started to feed she wanted to do it all the time so we never had to waken her!

Did you have any pain relief during labour that may have made her drowsy? I had dia morphine and this affcted my DD - she was just very sleepy and not interested in feeding to start with.

When is your midwife coming to see you?

Is your milk coming in?

I had real problems on Day 4/5 with DS. I don't think we'd had a great start anyway due to post-delivery cimplications and then latch not being great, and just as he was getting the hang of it the change from colostrum to milk happened and I think it upset him. Plus nobody had at any point told me that newborns would feed more frequently than every 3 hours, so I didn't realise that he would be better off bobbing on and off as he needed and we spent days thinking it was something else rather than hunger causing him to be upset. All in all, it was a bit fraught and I started getting very stressed out about it which didn't help at all as feeds would became stressful on both sides.

My midwife told me to get DH to take him out for a short walk while I had a really relaxing warm bath. She told me to try expressing in the bath as the warmth could help get the milk flowing, and then to get into bed with DS. She then asked me to try biological nurturing positions - basically skin to skin, baby on your chest, and then amazingly the baby just roots around until he finds your nipple and latches on.

I felt calmer from the bath, DS had a brilliant feed and was immediately so much more contented, and things improved from there. Whenever we had a hiccup in the early weeks I'd just get back into bed naked with him and take it from there.

Might be worth trying getting back to basics - plenty of naked time together and just let him latch on as and when he can as tiktok says

Is your baby jaundiced?

TBH if so, even if you think it's going now, I would take him to see someone. jaundice is tricky and needs monitoring IMO, although it's pretty common and can be sorted out.

i think megoonthemoon's advice re encouraging milk flow sounds great.

Thanks for all your replies - I'll definately be trying what you have suggested.

He isn't jaundiced, but he hasnt had a poo since tuesday afternoon but is very windy, his stomach doesn't seem bloated and he's doing plenty of wet nappies. Midwife said yesterday that his digestive system may just be getting used to things and she is coming again tomorrow but hopefully he will have had a poo by then.

It's just taken me two hours to get him to feed for 15 minutes at the end of it.

I wish I knew why when he is hungry (and I know he is because he roots, will suck on my finger etc, goes mad if I put him down) won't he just stay on the breast. Why does he spend two hours pulling off, refusing to latch again then crying himself silly before feeding properly (even if it's only for 15 minutes)?

catherine - I can understand your concerns. All of this may just be a new baby getting used to the world and it's good the midwife feels all is basically ok.

The behaviour you describe - appearing to want to be on the breast but crying and pulling off and fighting - really needs someone to observe so they can maybe make suggestions on what might be causing it.

It might be something to do with how he is held. It may be because he gets himself into a state and does not realise he needs to calm down in order to feed.

Biological nurturing really helps with both of these, as does just holding him and responding quickly and smoothly to feeding 'cues'.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow. It might be a good idea to ask the midwife to weigh him then, BTW.

hi catherine, just had a thought from reading what tiktok posted.... Are you holding the back of his head rather than
between his shoulders when you are trying to latch him on?

Hope the midwife is helpful tomorrow and can give you some good advice once she'd seen you feeding.

yaaay he's done a poo!!!

crikeybadger I have been holding him from between his shoulders/base of his head, I will get the midwife to check my positioning of him tomorrow and hopefully she will be able to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

thank you all again for helping me out with this!

My ds took until day 6 to do one - def a sign that he hadn't been feeding well but was getting better at it. So this is good - bet you've never been so thrilled about a poo hope it's onwards and upwards now.