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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Outraged by the midwife....

48 replies

June2008 · 03/08/2010 20:55

On talking to one of my friends today after her visit to the midwife, I was outraged by what the midwife had said to her and just wondered if anyone else had ever heard this.....

'you'll probably have difficulty in breastfeeding as you're blond'

Is this not just totally wrong or am I getting worked up on my friends behalf for nothing?

Bit of background: we are both due in the next four weeks - friend with DC1 and me with DC2 - I b'fed for 15 months with DC1 and am blond...

How do they get away with saying things like this?

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 03/08/2010 20:56

This reply has been deleted

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lovingmy2 · 03/08/2010 20:58

how dare she.

Ineedsomesleep · 03/08/2010 20:59

Your friend needs to make a complaint even if its just to stop her coming out with such crap to other Mums-to-Be.

WoTmania · 03/08/2010 21:10

Is it a new Blond Joke?
Maybe she's going by the same theory that says redheads/fairskinned women suffer more nipple pain?
She should complain complain complain!

FlipFantasia · 03/08/2010 22:18

bloody hell! She needs to complain - what a load of rubbish .

Reckon it probably is the pale skin equals more nipple pain nonsense...

theyoungvisiter · 03/08/2010 22:20

Silly remark - probably based on some bizarro old wives tale.

Tell your friend to enquire sweetly why the scandinavian countries have such high bf rates in that case?

Haliborange · 03/08/2010 22:30

That's ridiculous.

I do hope your friend complains. It's comments like that which can make women feel like giving up without even trying, especially if they come from someone who should know a lot on the subject. One of my friends said to me a couple of years ago that she'd "never bother with breastfeeding because there is no point as it is agony for everyone". She was genuinely surprised when I told her how easy it had been for me. Hopefully she will now at least give it a go and decide for herself whether she likes it.

Incidentally, there are some MWs who I think just like to talk crap (not all of them, I must stress). I had one tell me my DD1 would have gastric problems because I was taking Gaviscon:

Her "It's nothing I have read in a study, just something I have observed over years of working with babies."
Me: "how long have you been a mw?"
Her: "Two years."
Me: "Ha ha ha ha ha".

[Waves to Flipfantasia ]

theyoungvisiter · 03/08/2010 22:40

I had one midwife tell me that DS would be an extremely hairy baby because I had heartburn.

Ohhh-kaaayyyyy....

[backs away from the nutter with the pot of urine]

Haliborange · 03/08/2010 22:42

Ah, the haeartburn and the hair. Funny.

Mind you, I belched fire and gave birth to 2 monkey children...

FlipFantasia · 03/08/2010 22:49

[waves back at Haliborange and sends greetings to your two monkey children )

chipmonkey · 03/08/2010 23:20

That thing about the heartburn was true for ds4. I had no heartburn with the first 3 who were baldy and then loads on ds4 who came out with a full head of hair.
Anyhow, that's beside the point!

The MW really shouldn't have said that to your friend, what did blonde women do before formula?

Boogellyboo · 03/08/2010 23:50

I was told it'd probably be extremely painful BF'ing by the MW who ran the antenatal class as I was a redhead. I smiled sweetly and didn't bother mentioning it was a wig and I'm naturally dark brown

Morloth · 04/08/2010 08:56

Yeah, I would be asking for a new midwife - if she is that dim there is no way she can be trusted with any serious medical stuff.

I heard the hairy baby=heartburn thing as well because I was necking gaviscon, had a baldy.

sweetnitanitro · 04/08/2010 09:43

God, that's depressing that a health care professional can be so dim. I would be bloody worried if my MW came out with something like that and I'd definitely be asking for a different MW who could confidently locate her bottom and her elbow.

Careful · 04/08/2010 11:13

My midwife said a similar thing to me - that I was blonde and fair skinned and that might mean my nipples would hurt more until they got used to it.

TBH it stopped me panicking in the first couple of weeks when the latch looked fine but feeding was still sore, it stopped me from thinking there was something really wrong.

Is it complete bollocks then?

catwhiskers10 · 04/08/2010 11:49

You would think that they would be more professional but they do say stupid things. One midwife who visited me after DD was born commented on how good my husband was with her and how it was "lovely to see a dad so fond of his daughter when you keep reading about all these paedophile dads that rape their daughters in the papers". Needless to say I was outraged.

MathsMadMummy · 04/08/2010 11:53

cat

anyway, WTF? I thought 'blond=sensitive skin=pain' but I doubt there's any evidence... what a muppet.

anyway, I have dark brown hair, olive skin etc and OH MY GOD THE PAIN OF BFING!!!

Hazeyjane · 04/08/2010 11:57

When i had dd1 my MW said to me that one of the reasons I was exerienceing such pain was because I was very pale skinned with dark hair!

So that is blondes, redheads and people with dark hair - we are all doomed, DOOMED!!!

(mind you I am in the process of failing to b'feed for a 3rd time due to the screaming agony - ah well)

FreddoBaggyMac · 04/08/2010 12:05

A midwife said something similar to me but the other way around... I have dark hair so breastfeeding will not be a problem I wonder if it was the same one? I just looked at her like she was insane.

anonymousbird · 04/08/2010 12:15

I was told AFTER birth, when struggling with BF by a MW that often people of my colouring (fair and strawberry blond) had difficulty.. she did however, give me this information in a supportive fashion..

Neither of my DC's could get anything from me, it was all truly awful, though no idea whether this actually had anything to do with my colouring.

OrmRenewed · 04/08/2010 12:16

It's only because blonde people are supposed to have fairer and more sensitive skin I guess. Bit old-wives-tale and silly but I don't see it's worth getting irate over.

Emster30 · 04/08/2010 12:17

i have blonde hair and very fair skin and have been suffering painful nipples feeding 17-day-old DS - as the poster above said i am hoping this is the reason (latch has been checked repeatedly) and that it will ease!

omnishambles · 04/08/2010 12:20

Really Orm? fair enough - I thought this was a wind-up...didnt realise they were really saying this sort of thing. Barking.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 04/08/2010 12:33

Careful, I think there is actual evidence suggesting that redheads and blondes tend to be slightly more sensitive to pain, on average. Doesn't mean that you can predict with any confidence which out of a random redhead and a random brunette will be more sensitive to pain, though, as the difference value if any will be very small.

But there is a huge difference between saying to someone that their complexion could mean that they are slightly more sensitive to pain than average and may take a while to settle down with bf (I think even that's a bit of an overstatement, given the small extent of the statistically observable differences, but actually being aware that it's normal to take a few weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding and doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong is a good thing for any new mother to know, whatever the reason given for it -- although, saying that, "if it hurts then get the latch checked by someone who really knows what they are talking about, just in case" is also good advice) and saying to someone that their hair colour means they will probably have difficulty breastfeeding.

sweetnitanitro · 04/08/2010 13:00

There have been studies but experts are still divided on whether redheads have a higher or lower pain threshold than non-red heads. BBC report here