can anyone help me make sense of bf?

[plum100]

Hi all,

I am bf my 3rd dc, bf my previous dc too but only for 6 weeks - would like to go longer this time but am just so confused about all the advice given.
My dd is gaining weight well, but she cries alot and I'm not very good at working out why. Her latch isnt fantastic - she constantly makes a clicking sound - MW did check for tongue tie and said she was latched on ok as you could see her jaw doing all the work.
I just get confused with this demand feeding business. Im never sure if shes just hungry again or tired or what. And cos you cant see what shes getting you cant go by that.

So if anyone can answer these questions/contradictions I will be grateful...

1. you re supposed to leave you child on the first breast until it is empty. - I thought that they were never empty.

2. never let you child suck on any empty breast - As above, and how do you know when they are empty?

3)feed on demand - my baby could feed on and off all night - sometimes every 20 mins - for hours - surely I shouldnt have to keep feeding? And if my breasts are empty then surley shes getting nothing.

4. give half hour on the first breast - what if half hour isnt long enough - what if it takes them longer to drain it - if they have a very slow suck.

5)Start with a differed breast . I get confused which one I used last, and if theyre never empty does it really matter?

I just dont know if Im doing it right and I think it must just be easier to bottle feed surely. I aloso feel cos Im feeding her myself its such a big responsibility , I cant say to dh , what do you think for example cos he doesnt know either.

If you can help - thanks xx

How old is she?

If she is crying, and she hasn't got wind (lifting her legs up to her tummy etc) and doesn't need her nappy changing, offer her the breast. Even if this is every twenty minutes Are you able to tell if she is drinking, or just comfort sucking?

If she comes off herself from the breast, offer her the other one. Its important to offer both breasts equally (or as equally as you can) to ensure you don't have one boob like a basket ball

Hi Plum

This BFing lark is pretty confusing! Like everything to do with babies there's loads of advice floating about...the main thing is that I think you're doing a great job and you're trying to find out the best way of sticking with it, which is great.

I'm seriously no expert, but I'll have a stab at your queries nonetheless .

1. • I think in terms of "draining" the boob rather than "emptying" it iykwim. Since BF is made constantly, your boob isn't empty, it's more that the milk that's been building up in your boob since the last feed needs to be drained and this what relieves the full feeling you can get. One of the biggest myths that undermines BFing is that boobs are empty and that therefore a baby needs a formula top up. I just let my own baby stay on the boob until he's done - in the early weeks that meant when he kind of fell off in a milk drunk coma

2. Again, it's more that a breast is drained rather than empty. All suckling, even comfort suckling, is good for your supply, so if you can let your baby suckle as long as she wants this will be good. But she's your third DC so I imagine you're pretty busy, so you could think about introducing a dummy (ignore me if you want, as I know some women hate dummies...and my own baby had no interest in a dummy!).

3)feed on demand - your baby sounds totally normal! The early weeks are a lot of feeds - sometimes it feels like nearly constant feeding - but that's normal. Things like evening cluster feeds and growth spurts (we had growth spurts at 10 days, 3 weeks and 6 weeks in the first month and a half) are all designed to boost your supply so that your boobs match the needs of your growing baby. She'll always be getting exactly what she needs. But trust me, feeds get faster as they get older (and for me, a 45 min feed was short until about 13 weeks - feeds now take 10-20 20 mins every 2-3 hours and my son is 20 weeks).

4. Ignore all this timing - you're right, what if it takes longer (or shorter). Just let your baby feed as long as she needs and ignore the clock.

5. I think this is probably to make sure your baby is getting the right mix of foremilk/hindmilk and to minimise the risk of you getting blocked ducts by only feeding off one breast. But that's just a guess on my part! I know women who only feed off one boob at a time and women who offer both sides multiple times during a feed. So there's no need to get too hung up on it. Try to offer the other breast at the next feed, but don't worry if you can't remember.

On the crying front, I'd agree with SirBoobALot, nothing wrong with offering the boob if it's not wind or tiredness even if you think she's not hungry. Babies cry and anything that stops it is A Good Thing (also her tummy will be tiny and she will be hungry quickly).

On the clicking front, can you try and see a BFing counsellor? There should be a BFing support group at a sure start centre near you and it would be great to get an expert to observe a feed properly to rule out any latch issues.

Two sites I found really interesting and useful (bar MN of course ) are Dr Jack Newman and Kellymom (for example see here for what Kellymom has to say about a clicking noise

Also, BFing does get a lot easier after six weeks. If you can just get over the hump you'll find that it should become easier after the 6 week mark (although there are more growth spurts, eg at 12 weeks). It becomes second nature, which will help you relax into things a bit more and trust your body and your boobs .

Ah thank you so much ladies - As I thought - just ignore the advice and go with it . Its just asometimes I doubt mysellf and it would be nice to have someone tell you youve got it right. thanks again. x