What kept you going in the early days ?

[Fibilou]

My friend has just given up BFing because she found it too hard, I feel bad now that I didn't approach her to see how it was going (was afraid how she would react if I asked her due to some of the negativity on here mainly) and wonder if some of the advice I ws given would have helped her.

Anyway, I thought it might be nice for people that are really struggling to know what helped us get through the bad times. For me it was a bit of advice my friend gave me:
"Take it one feed at a time, just think that you'll do one more feed. And it gets much better at 6 weeks"

Think it was a combination of the pride I felt at DS getting chubbier as the weeks went on and making sure I always had something great to read, especially for night feeds.

We did hit a difficult patch when DS started teething, which resulted in biting and lots of pain for a couple of weeks but by then he refused to take milk from a bottle or indeed any receptical other than me so had no choice but to soldier on. Really pleased to say we got through it though and we're still going strong at 8 1/2 months.

I do think that there is not nearly enough info about just how often newborns feed and that lots of people (me included!!) expect that there will be at least a couple of hours between feeds. Think that I'll be a lot more chilled about this aspect with any future DC, and just enjoy the chance to sit with my feet up and a lovely bub in my arms. Will have to work out some strategies for amusing DS at the same time though....

Marshmellows.

The only way I could stand to feed DS for about the first two weeks was to bite into a marshmellow every time I latched him on.

My wonderful dh got of through the first few weeks. He did everything he could for me, gave me unwavering emotional support and encouragement and hardly moaned at all. Seeing my dd thrive on breastmilk made me so determined to keep going. As her thighs get chubbier I get more and more confident that i'm doing a good job. What would have made things easier would have been more info about breastfeeding in the early days...i echo what other say that I kept thinking I didn't have enough milk when my dd was feeding for hours at a time in the early days and during each growth spurt. Could we not get together and campaign for the nhs to provide more info on this?! Oh and on a much shallower note...i was also determined to prove the cynics wrong and keep feeding! Sorry, its very shallow of me and of course is not nearly as important as my dd thriving but it did spurn me on a bit!

Thank you everyone for saying that it DOES get better! It's really reassuring to hear, and so nice to have your support.

My DS is 5 weeks old today and I'm finding BF so hard! Not so much the pain from feeding itself, but the amount my boobs leak. Every night I'm drenched, he's drenched, it's horrible! Really had enough of sleeping* under damp sheets.

*When I say 'sleeping' I mean for a couple of hours I get a bit!

I'm determined to carry on with the BF so fingers crossed for the improvement at 6 weeks!!

When i was awake every few hours in the night, my amazing bf would wake with me and change our baby's nappy. i felt like i wasn't alone in the middle of the night doing all the feeding, winding, changing nappies etc. Baby was sleeping through from 8weeks old so night feeds were no more!

Also, vasaline on the nipples releived soreness.

I breast fed for 5 months and struggled to give it up as i enjoyed providing for my baby.

Top Trump - Just had to reply to you about the leaking thing, I had an awful time with leaky boobs in the first six weeks, literally filling a 5oz bottle off one boob whilst feeding off the other. I survived with a combination of breast shells and towels to 'collect' (you can build up a stash of the leakage in the freezer)
No one has much sympathy for someone with 'over' supply as it is usually the other way round but it can be distressing and very difficult to feed in public.

Anyway, the good news is that it got much much better ar 6 weeks and even better at 12 weeks. I now only leak a bit by the morning as DS sleeps through the night (DS = 20 weeks) so the leakage is a small price to pay for a full nights sleep!!!

I agree angfirsttimer, I used to leak alot, but I very rarely need pads at all now and my DD is 17 weeks old.

1 feed at a time - and a bit of '2 more feeds and I will have managed 2 weeks' '3 more days and I will have managed 2 months' etc. Audio books galore - Philip Pullman, Michael Palin, David Attenborough. Promising myself a wonderful holiday just before 6 months if we made it that far (we went to Thailand and I didn't have to worry about the food/water for DS). The fab breastfeeding cafe I went to every week for nearly a year. A supportive family. And a DS who eventually put on weight and still loves feeding!

I never even considered going onto formula in the early days despite DD constantly feeding on my poor blistered scabby nipples!
I think not having bottles or formula in the hhouse helped (as well as not having a clue how to sterilise or make them up!) and also I would have felt that the midwives and HVs would have disapproved if I had not BF (I now know this is not true).
After the initial couple of weeks things got easier and sheer determination kept me going when a lot of people assumed I would give up aafter 6 weeks.
Now DD is 5 months old and has teeth but I am still going and have only had one negative comment ("how long does that(BF) go on for then??") everyone has been very supportive and I plan to continue until she is at least a year. Have worked out I have saved at least £400 on formula/bottles/teats etc which is a big incentive to keep going as well as seeing my DD thrive on what nature intended her to drink.

Patience - this one feed at a time business is really important.

Trying to remember that it will get better - my baby is four months now and I have only recently felt like we've cracked it.

Support is vital! I found a local breastfeeding support group which has been amazing. Support from HVs etc is all well and good, but peer support is something which I think is overlooked by a lot of people. It can feel very lonely at times and talking to others about their experiences has been really valuable.

Cosleeping has made night feeding much less hassle

Knowing that I am doing the best thing for me and my baby has also kept me going, and I have to mention chocolate digestives and/or cake - you need an extra 500 calories a day!

I would not say the 6 week thing - I had it quite hard for 3 months.

However, there was a book the politics of breastfeeding that someone gave me - I was incensed at some of the tactics of formula companies and that was my motivation - to feed my baby in the most optimal way.

Support from my dh was crucial, as well as leaving the house work.

TopTrump - good on you - 5 weeks is tough. I wish you rest and a happy plump baby!

I thing Marshmellows sound like a splendid idea - you might need some of those!

Also I found movies with subtitles were good for cluster feeds.

What kept me going was an unshakeable belief that formula would not improve things at all, coupled with the self awareness that I would feel utterly devastated if I used it. I believed ardently that bf was the best thing, the only thing for us.

I have never expected others to feel so strongly, this was just my personal belief.

What kept me going was that after a traumatic birth bfing settled both myself and dd, she was colicy and it was the only thing that relaxed her. And I was actually good at it, had no problems getting going etc, it was down to having the patience to stick with it. I really wanted her to have the health benefits it gives that I had missed out on from being ff myself as a baby.

With ds he was relaxed from the start, again, I stuck with it for health reasons.

bloody mindedness, not having the faintest idea what to do with bottles/formula, and not having any in the house, not knowing any other way to calm DD down, I basically just fed her constantly for 3 months.
I'm pg again now and rather worried about how it's going to go now that I have a toddler to deal with too - there won't be the luxury of spending whole days feeding in bed/while watching tv etc this time.

Knowing that It Will Get Better. Maybe (like me after 2 weeks) or 6 weeks. And that by breastfeeding I am doing what is best for me, my baby and future generations. And the longer you can do it the better.

A supportive husband, midwife and family and an electric (as opposed to manual) breastpump will make this a much easier choice for the mother involved.