Feeling down about breastfeeding

[passionberry]

I have exclusively breastfed DD for 15 weeks so far.

I always wanted to do it, my mum did it (although weaned at 4 months) - but as it turns out, I don't really like it . . .

The cluster feeding and the sore nips at first were grim obviously but I'm well past that stage now. Why isn't it easy yet??

I find it really hard work - DD is still feeding 2 hourly during the day if not more. I'm doing between 2 and 4 night feeds - usually bringing her into my bed at about 5am.

I haven't got the hang of feeding lying down - I have to sit on the edge of the bed and my back aches. I usually need both hands to hold her and my boob (I realise this is incorrect) - so I can't do anything else.

Each breastfeed takes aaaggeesss.

I am sick of getting my breasts out all the time.

I am wishing the next 4 months away till I can wean her. At least that might mean less breastfeeds.

I would go on to formula except I am to lazy to buy all the stuff and work out what to do with it.

I really thought I would enjoy it more than this.

Oh you poor thing
Although I enjoyed it with DS (in that I never thought about doing annything else) he was a clingy baby who fed 2/3 hourly until quite old, and fed on demand (and demanded a lot) until about 18 months.
DD is only 10 months and is already showing signs of being very different. She loves her bfs but isn't as demanding and can go for a day without one.
So, justtryng to say it isn't easy, some babies are more demanding than others.
When do you plan on weaning? If 6 months, you only have 10 weeks to go - you are doing brilliantly.

You sound like a very normal mother!

It took me a while to get the hang of feeding lying down - why not try to get the postion correct when baby is not hungry. If that don't seem daft.

Have look at some pictures here and here and here too!

it really does get easier, i promise.

you shouldn't have to hold boob and baby, maybe you could go to a local baby cafe or LLL group or something and get some tips on more comfortable ways of feeding?
if you can crack the feeding lying down it helps immensely I found

I have to admit that i never "loved" breastfeeding. I did/do it because it's the right thing to do. and I like that I can do it.
but i never got that whole rush of love intense feeling that some people describe. ateotd it is just feeding my baby, which can be quite boring!

i definitely enjoy it more once we're past about 6 months tho

Agree you are doing - and have done - brilliantly.

I'm wary of saying things will get easier because each baby is different. BUT DS was exactly the same at 15 weeks (four or so night feeds - I was utterly exhausted). It's only since he started going longer at night (and in the day too) that I've enjoyed BF more.

Sorry, no real advice - only to say I've been there, it's got much better for me and I hope it does for you too.

I'm not sure if it helps, but I always find 4 months in such a low point (I have 3 dcs). I find by that stage I'm over the post-birth high, tired from weeks of disrupted sleep, but yet the stage where they will seem less dependent and able to eat food etc still feels a lifetime away. I also feel totally chained ot them. They're not newborns any more, but not doing much interesting yet, and having to feed every hour or two and unpredictably so makes it hard, if not impossible, to take any kind of break. Each time, but 5-6 months things feel totally different. I do hope it will be the same for you. You are doing really well .

have you tried expressing? i find this great for the night feed, DD normally has it about 1030ish then sleeps for 4 hrs, BF her then she wakes at 6ish, its works really wellfor us and it only takes me 10-15 mins to expess (with an electric pump) we prop do this twice a week (max)

Tommee tippee pump is on offer at £40 reduced from £80 in asda's baby event,

Hope this helps, oh and if u like expressing u can freeze too (as i do) then its always their if u want to go out

Maybe you could call and speak to one of the nct breastfeeding counsellors on 0300 330 0771 and they could talk you through more comfortable positions and so on. On a practical level its really uncomfortable to feed without back support, in my experience, so even sitting upright in a chair would be better than trying to just sit on the edge of your bed. Hope it gets better for you soon.

Thanks all! Feel better just having written it down but it's nice to receive some kind words too!

Feel a bit more positive now but think the main problem is just that I'm really knackered!

Brollyflower - yes, I do feel totally chained to her and it's draining. Thanks for giving me hope that I will feel better in a month or so.

The positioning/ backache etc is my own fault and I will make an effort to sort it out!

She is bf-ing now and looks so sweet and contented!

Have you got a decent breastfeeding cushion? It might be a bit late now to get your moneys worth out of it, but it will help your back. I like to hold my boob too (and fed DS1 for 15 months) - I don't really like the pulling sensation of the sucking if I'm not pushing the boob forward, IYSWIM. Also my babies have both been v v heavy so can be awkward to hold. I have a widgey cushion at home and a thrupenny bits pillow for out and about - can't link very easily as I'm not on the computer at the mo, but they should both come up on google.

Agree that it does get easier - at times I felt I'd never be able to leave DS, but it all changed so quickly and now at almost 2 he stays out overnight regularly with my parents, and the baby days feel ages away. DS2 is just the same age as yours and yes, I am tied to him now, but I know it'll be so different in just a few months.

Roll on five months!!

Yeah, might invest in a cushion - my midwife told me I wouldn't need one so I didn't buy one before she was born. She is a big, long baby so I do find her awkward to hold.

And you've done it three times sprogger - I'm v impressed!

Good to hear from someone in the same boat! If I can just get in 4 hours sleep in a row I feel loads better - but that doesn't happen much at the mo!

We are in the middle of a move to the other end of the country too, which doesn't help! I feel like I can't do anything useful as I'm sat on the sofa bf-ing!