....please if you could give me some encouragement or just send me a virtual bar of chocolate and glass of wine!
Ds (3rd dc) was born 4 weeks ago, we had a rocky start with ds going to scbu within a couple of hours of being born. It was an elective caesarian, and despite ds being born at 39 weeks, his lungs had not matured fully, and he had respiratory distress syndrome. He was on a drip, in a ventilator and on cpap, and was tube fed for first 3 days. I was knocked sideways by the cs, had lost a lot of blood, had a reaction to painkillers (so had to take paracetemol and codeine and morphine), and spent first 24 hours after section throwing up and passing out due to low bp.
I expressed for 4 days, pumping every 3/4 hours, and producing absolutely zero milk, but my milk just started to come in around day 5, when I was transferred to a room in SCBU, and started trying to b'feed ds. He had no idea of how to latch, but eventually by using a nipple shield to give him something bigger to latch onto he started to feed. I put him to the breast every 3 hours (he wasn't demanding), and then had to top up expressed milk/formula through his tube.
It took us another 3 days for ds to start demand feeds, and things started turning around a little. Unfortunately by this time ds had lost nearly 13% of his birth weight. I managed to persuade the drs to send us home, where I hoped it would be easier to feed him on demand and, if ds didn't start gaining weight we would be readmittted. Ds slowly gained weight and has just now regained his birth weight.
I was very determined to b'feed my dds (now 3 and 4), but due to a combination of thrush, tongue tie, crap support from hcps and me having nipple vasospasm (I suffer from Raynauds), I ended up f'feeding fairly early on.
I am so pleased that ds and I have got this far, and he has done so well, with just my milk (apart from the hospital top ups!).
BUT
I am starting to wobble, I am exhausted because he takes a very long time to feed at night, so I am not getting much sleep. My latch is good, and I have no nipple damage, but due to vasospasm it is often painful to feed (especially at night unfortunately - I guess because I am tired I am more susceptible to cold), I use heat pads, and take painkillers, but it is starting to make me tearful. I don't know if it is because of vasospasm, but I find let down and feeling full, extremely painful.
Does anyone have any experience of vasospasm? Do things improve with time? I really need to feel that things might start to get better, I really don't want to let ds down.