Any experience of nursing ? very emotional!)

[Annner]

My DD is now just over 9 months old. She started solids at 6 months, and until yesterday was happily troughing three meals a day, with a boob in the morning, usually in the afternoon, and then last thing at night. She will sip water from a doidy cup, but has no other liquids. She does eat loads of cheese sauce and yoghurty stuff.

This morning I got her out of her cot and took her into our room to feed her. Complete refusal. She turned away from the breast and pursed her lips, and began to cry. This happened throughout the day whenever I offered her the boob.

I've just spent the evening in floods of tears because I can't believe that it is over. I feel that I have been dumped and that I have lost the means of communication with my baby that meant the most to me (all the more so when we didn't get established until 8 weeks because of tongue tie).

I've had a look at the Kellymom links, and it does seem to be a strike rather than self-weaning, but how on earth can we get through this without me breaking down all the time? I've wracked my brains, and the only possible cause is a slight cold. No change in routine, I'm not up the duff, nada.

Has anyone gone through this and rebuilt their breastfeeding relationship?

She's never had a bottle, and i don't really want to give her one. Also, the thought of a poxy formula company getting my money after all this time and when my boobs are far better, makes my blood boil. (hey, i did warn that this would be emotional...) Anyway, i return to work as a teacher in two weeks, and I really want her to have the breastmilk antibodies when she gets the onslaught of September germs...

But if it is the end, how can I ensure that she gets enough fluids when she is too young for cows milk? Many thanks

Annner

Darn! Subject line should read "Any experience of a nursing strike".

Blimmin stupid question on this board, otherwise...

Annner,I think this sometimes happens.
Can you express and try again tomorrow?

Don't panic. She might have a sore mouth or something. By tomorrow it might be quite different.

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Can I ask how you got things going, and how long the strike went on for, Giraffski? I expressed this evening, but 90 mls wasn't a lot to show for a day without feeding. I wasn't engorged at all, which does concern me a little, as perhaps she hasn't been getting as much as I had been assuming. I know that the breastpump usually lies, but boobs not bursting???

Annner,my ds started to go off b/feeding at about this age,probably because he was such a good eater.I was amazed and sad (as his sister b/fed for 21/2 years.) Finally accepted that he knew best what suited him though.
I'm sure it's not the end for you! Probably just easing off a bit.Someone posted earlier today with exactly the same scenario.

DD stopped bf'ing at 7 months - I didn't switch to formula though as she was happily eating three balanced meals a day and drinking a variety of water, juice and cows milk (shock! horror!). Hope you can get things going again though - I am dreading this moment when I start ds on solids in 2 months time or so.

I wouldn't go so far as to say it is over yet. Try to remain relaxed with her. Try lying in bed with her close to the breast. Take her in the bath - my DD often had a feed (even though it was short) when we were in the bath together. Cut back her solids a bit even.

Keep expressing for stimulation in the meantime. Don't worry if you do not get a great deal, that is not the purpose of it really.

If she has a cold, she may have a sore ear which gets worse when lying in the feeding position. Perhaps worth getting that checked out by doctor.

Just keep offering her feeds and try to remain calm with her. Hope she bounces back soon

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A week! eeek.

This morning, same thing. But she wouldn't stop crying, and yelled until 10 minutes after a dose of the pink stuff. So, there seems to be something going on in there - pain.

We had a nice skin to skin cuddle and a bath together this morning, which was nice for my inner calm and sense of not being quite redundant yet (!)

We have a docs appointment at 10 (no triage and our own GP - you can tell it's August!) and I'll call the NCT line now.

She's just had 10 mls or so of EBM in her doidy cup with Daddy and 40 mls on half a weetabix. She's not off her food completely, just seems to be eating for fuel instead of her usual enjoyment. She is starting to look dehydrated, though, which is hardly surprising as she should have emptied around 7 boobs in the last 24 hours and has instead had 50 mls of milk.

Thanks for the advice, and it's reassuring to know that others have been there and that there are friends out there who aren't saying "oh well you've had 9 months; isn't that enough!" If this is self-weaning, and I doubt that it is, it's the sheer brutality of it that is knocking me sideways.

Just another update...
DD definitely has an ear infection, which would explain the pain. Lots of Calpol and Medised during the day/night, and luverley antibiotics.

(random aside: when baby food is not allowed to contain artificial colourings, why do antibiotics still look like the inside of a highlighter pen? )

I also spoke to an NCT counsellor today, who suggested simply not offering any boobs at all for a day or more (gulp). She suggested that DD may have had a nasty shot of pain when she went to feed yesterday morning, and now associates the wide feeding gape with pain, hence the refusal. She's had a bit of EBM via cup, and it has just occured to me that, as far as she is concerned, she may have every intention of feeding again soon, but can't tell me. Don't know how long I can sustain three or four expresssing sessions a day: it takes me back to our grim, grim, grim early tongue-tie cupfeeding weeks.

We're about to have our second bath of the day, and I'll resist the temptation to offer her a feed when she is all nice and snuggly in her grobag.

We've managed to squeeze about 120 mls of EBM into her food over the course of the day. Tomorrow she will have no cheesy sauces to try and tempt her back to milky thoughts by another way.

How much breast milk does a 9-month old baby need for it to be "worth it", ie to get enough antibodies across to make a difference? I'm now dreading the return to work if the worst happens and this really is the end . I know what I am like at the start of term when all those lovely germs get going again, so poor old DD's immune system is in for a nasty shock.

Fingers and toes crossed; lots of "norks are lovely" vibes, please!