Day 3 and getting scared

[EllaRees]

Hello, my lovely boy is three days old but we aren't taking brilliantly to breastfeeding. He seemed ok in the hospital but now we are home he just doesn't latch on - we try and sometimes he does for a few seconds but then gives up and cries. I am managing to stay fairly calm, and keep holding him and soothing him, but am worried as I think i am now getting blocked ducts in my left breast - achy and lumpy at the side. I have called la leche and the midwife but no one can come and see me and I don't know what to do next - any thoughts?

I'm sure someone more qualified than me be wil along in a bit, but for the meantime - how's your positioning? I always found my feeding pillow was necessary. Is he definitely ready for a feed or maybe winding first? Rugby ball hold might help too. Like I said, I'm just a mum, not an expert and going from now distant memory!

Congratulations by the way!

Get back on the phone to the midwife and demand someone comes out to see you - you should be seen daily by the MW at this point. If that fails, ring the delivery ward and repeat your demands - bf counsellor, etc.

Keep doing what you're doing re. staying calm and lots of skin to skin.

Warm flannels and lots of massage if you think you're getting blocked ducts, although those symptoms can also be a sign of your milk coming in. Rest, rest, rest, eat well, drink lots.

Watch videos online for tips on getting a good latch. Start with Kellymom.

Hard to offer any more info online - you need someone to watch you feeding who knows all about the birth and can examine your lovely DS.

Congratulations and good luck!

In our antenatal classes we were taught the following for positioning:

baby's tummy to mummy
baby's nose to your nipple (not mouth)
spine in a line

If your boobs are feeling quite lumpy they might be too full so too hard for him to latch on, like trying to suck from a football. Can you express a bit off first?

Very shocked at this lack of support from your MW.

try googling 'biological nurturing' - have a look and see if this may help.

Congratulations btw and try not to worry- you'll get there.

Congrats! The first few weeks are always a bit of a bumpy ride Am annoyed no one has been to see you; second the above, call and keep on calling until someone comes out.

I found that when my milk was starting to come in, my breasts were so full, DS couldn't latch on properly. Here is a guide to hand expressing. You don't have to express much, but it might make it easier for him; and more comfortable for you! Hot flannels (as hot as you can stand) and some massage.

Also, maybe trying different positions might be worth a shot?

Is he winding okay?

Hope someone comes to see you soon, and keep going, you're doing great

Any use trying the breastfeeding counsellor at your local NCT?

Hi, many congrats on your new LO. Def sounds like your milk is coming in....i had hot as you can stand baths with boobs under the water. It encouraged milk to leak out without overstimulating or adding to nipple soreness. It also soothes your other bits too. 5 drops of lavender in about 3rd mug of milk is fab too - just swish it into the water. I found some of those hand warmer gel packs that have a little disc in that you snap and it self warms...i popped them in my bra before feeds on lumpy bits and also held them onto those areas when feeding to encourage the milk to be expressed. You should definitely have someone come to watch you feed and help you with latching LO on....i have fed 3 bbs and needed help each time as its individual to that baby and that stage of your BF experience. It gets an awful lot easier when your milk is fully in and your boobs are less engorged. I also googled BF positions (first time round) and agree kellymom is great. Hope today has been easier for you.

whereabouts are you? perhaps you could venture out to a local LLL group or baby cafe? i realise it's early days tho and yo may not want to be up and about just yet

would def second the suggestions of biological nurturing

also make sure you get plenty of skin to skin and allow baby to latch on every time he wants to. in fact every time he stirs give it a go.
the more stimulation you give your breasts the better!

I quite like this video.

A community midwife should come and see you. Ask them again and say you are very concerned.

Where in the country are you?

That vid has no sound. Try this one, maybe.

Thank you so much everyone - I thought the midwives would visit everyday, but I had the visit on Thurs (first day at home) then she said she would be back on Monday - is that not normal? I will phone in the morning and ask for a visit I think.

I have been trying massage, hot shower and warm pad and just expressing a bit by hand to make sure things are flowing - still just colostrum both sides but milk def on its way. Baby did just feed much better on the good side so hopefully position and his technique are improving - fingers crossed!

I am in London so luckily can get to lots of support groups - it's just that it's such early days I haven't even thought of leaving the house yet.

Will feel much better if someone can just come and have a look!

Ella I'm so glad you've got a good feed under your belt, does wonders for the confidence!

Definitely have a look at biological nurturing, I wish I had known about it when DS was tiny as we had terrible problems with latch too.

Very shocked that there is no support from your midwife team, that is bad. My hospital had 2 specialist BF midwives who were brilliant. They weren't able to come out, but I saw one of them 6 times in the first month after DS was born. Does your hospital have anything similar?

Call them again in the morning, and tell them you need someone to come out. Its not really on for them to not visit for five days Or call the LLL again, and see if they can suggest anyone locally.

I'm glad the last feed went well; it does take a while to get to grips with, remember its a whole new skill for both of you!

It used to be the case that the community MW came every day. Now it is a lot more hit-and-miss and a couple of visits is more the norm, esp in London. But you are still under the hospital's care until they discharge you so if you need help they are the people who ought to provide (by making an extra visit or whatever).

Someone on here may well know the name of a local bf adviser you can call if you want to say where in London you are. You may be able to get a home visit sorted.

Sounds like things are getting a bit easier though, hope it continues for you.

Congratulations on your little boy

www.kellymom.com like pp mentioned is brilliant informative site. if you can not see the links for latching videos try youtube and searc' Jack Newman'. He's posted some good vidoes on newborn latch.

I had big latching probs with my first son. Rugby hold was easiest way to get him latched on as could get him to open mouth wide and I could see what I was doing.

Lots of skin to skin, spend tomorrow in bed with him and get waited on

If they are started to get engorged try hand expressing a little off before latching as to a newborn its like trying to gets its mouth around a melon!

If your unable to latch for a feed express your milk off and give him expressed milk in cup or bottle. It will mean your body will keep up with the milk demands of your lo whilst you get him latching more consistently.

i hope it gets easier for you

Congratulations on the birth of your baby. You have had great advice on here re: help and expressing I found my milk became quite pressurised when it came in around 3 days, it would squirt out if DD dropped off Also had problems with latch, but only on right side, DD's head was in a funny position (ended up with EMCS) and I think she only liked the left side because of her head position in labour. Rugby ball position worked for me on the right side and when she got bigger and her latch was stronger she was able to feed the usual way both sides. I also think my left side was better at producing milk as I have had mastitis previously in the right. Your health visitors will have a drop in clinic locally that you could attend via the GP surgery if you need more help after midwife has seen you on Monday (or earlier if you can get them to come out to you). My HV helped me with the rugby ball position, midwives solution in hospital was to pinch up the nipple and then put it in baby's mouth which wasn't very successful. Quite normal timescales had visit on the second day at home after two days in hospital then 5 days later to take out stitches before I switched over to HV team. You can also have a ring back from an NCT breastfeeding counsellor if you feel that they might be able to offer you some help, even if you cannot get to a group or get a visit, the support might put your mind at ease.

You will be fine just keep going it does get easier, they do get quite tired in the early days so you may find a feed will go on for a while as they keep dropping off anyway. Also my granny (bless her) gave me really good advice which was to live a 'cow-like' existence in the early days as babies react to your emotional state, so eat lots, drink lots and take it easy on yourself.

SO glad you've had a good feed! Take it one feed at a time and do nothing else - it can all wait. And get stroppy with the MW team if that what it takes to get some support.

You should still be under the care of the postnatal ward for a month - give them a call.
Why is your MW not visiting??

Where in London are you?

EllaRees - you need to be very clear that you need a midwife before Monday. There is a shortage of midwives in London, and in any case, it has long been the case that women don't get a daily visit if things look like they're going well...but in a case of real need (and a baby not feeding on day 3-4 is a case of real need) then of course a midwife can be made available.

Volunteer counsellors are not meant to take the place of this very basic, very important service - by all means contact them, but they should be telling you to get the midwife out as well.

How are you doing, OP?