Anyone still BF child age 2+?

[shalaa]

DD is 26mths and i'm still breastfeeding. She would happily be attached 24/7 if I let her, at the moment I try and just keep it to 3-4 feeds a day but she feeds every 3-4hrs through the night. I've tried refusing her a feed at night but she screams for ages waking herself and most of the house (and neighbours .

Should I just go cold turkey and refuse her a feed after she's gone to bed? I'm a bit of a pushover when it comes to DD and combined with the fact i've only averaged 5hrs broken sleep each night for 2 years I tend to just give in. How long would it take if I just stopped night feeding her?

Jesus christ! You poor woman, you have my utter sympathy. This has nothing whatsoever to do with breastfeeding and everything to do with your toddler demanding and getting her own way. You must be a saint to put up with it but the words 'rod' and 'back' do rather spring to mind. It's lovely that you still like breastfeeding a two year old but at that age, health all being well etc, she should absolutely not be waking up all night. How much longer do you think you can stand this? I'm no expert but I think you need advice in the controlled sleeping or behaviour forums! Good luck.

drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I did this. I carried on cuddling him until he no longer wanted it though, I never did the last few steps.

He's 3.6 now and an excellent sleeper. But now I have another baby....

Sorry, I realise that I didn't actually answer any of your questions, rant over. We tried slowly getting dd2 back into a sleeping routine after she was upset by a holiday and we personally found that to just let her cry for a little while and going in to reassure her, without actually picking her up or anything, did work for us. After a few nights we were just going in and out and now (admittedly) about four weeks later we get no fuss at all, we put her to bed and she settles down straight away. You really have to just try and see what works for you. I know it's not easy with a demanding child when they're screaming and crying but whatever you decide you have to be consistant. You really don't want to still be in this position when she's five and at school and the teachers say she falls asleep in class because she's so tired. Sorry to be dramatic but I would be a bit harsh at this point. Although you've probably got to do it gradually, saying that, because 26 months is a long time to get used to mummy being at your beck and call 24 hours a day. My god your stamina has my admiration!

I'm sure someone else will be along with some useful advice.

Hi, I am glad I am not the only one. I have just put my 19 month old to sleep in his own cot. I am still bf and find myself doing it about three times during the night and ten times during the day. Tonight I fed him then put him down. After he had climbed out of his cot five times I went in and stroked his hand until he fell asleep - standing up!! He eventually gave in and laid down. No idea what I will do during the night. I am hoping that if I go in and stroke his hand again he will get the message. Let me know how you get on...

I stopped night feeding dd2 when she was 19mo. She was driving me mad, sometimes waking me every hour or hour and a half for a feed, and I was knackered.

So I just decided on an arbitrary time before which I would not feed her, and once we'd cracked that, I shifted it forwards by a couple of hours. I offered her a cup of water as an alternative, lots of singing and patting etc, but just wouldn't back down even 5 minutes before the allotted time. We had a pretty terrible few nights, but after I think a week and a half or so, she was prepared to settle down again quite quickly without a feed when she woke up.

I had known for ages that it was unnecessary to keep feeding her in the night, but I didn't do anything about it until I felt absolutely 100% clear that I really needed to deal with it. Otherwise I think I would have found it very hard not to back down when she was crying. But if you are really clear about what you want to achieve, you'll get there.

By the way dawnybabe, I know you mean well but if I were the OP I would be upset by your posts. Phrases like 'rod and back', 'should not be waking up all night', plus rather hysterical assumptions about what will happen by the time a child is of school age, are in my opinion unhelpful and judgemental, and I don't think you sound as though you actually know much about extended breastfeeding.

I think i stopped feeding DS in the night at about this time, while I was pregnant with DD certainly.
Can you make sure she has some water handy, then when she wakes you (or DH preferably) make a big deal of here is your water, kiss, night

DS still wakes in the night and won't let me settle him without a feed, he's 19m so a little younger.Normally 1 x night now.

I know he doesn't need it, he will settle for DH if I'm not there. But he knows I have the breasts. And he wants them. And frankly I just want him to go back to sleep because I am frigging knackered.

Lots of sympathy, I too am just getting to the point of really wanting a full nights sleep.

I breastfed DD till she self weaned at 3 and a bit and DS is 2 and still breastfed. I don't feed at night, we stopped quite a while ago with DS.

Do you have a partner who can go to her in the night, if she sees you she will want milk.

What we did, with both of ours and you have to steel yourself because it's hard work is push back the feeds so for example if you would normally feed her at 10pm, push it back till 10:30, then the next week 11pm etc. This way the feeds naturally crash into one another and you can then drop them - so for example, by the time she's sleeping 7-2:30 you are (at least) one feed down and eventually they just stop waking up for milk.

When she wakes wanting milk shush her and cuddle her but do not feed her till it's time. It's helpful if someone else can help cuddle her till it's milk time. But it does work with the minimum of upset on both sides - however you will be knackered, but I'm guessing you are already. If you can steel yourself to doing this for a few weeks you can crack this.

And yes it's worth it. I now sleep from at least 11pm to 7am every night and god it's worth it.

Good luck.

I did what WMMC did. I sent DH in to soothe DS2 and after a few weeks he stopped waking at night for a feed. He is 15 months.

I can't get him to sleep beyond 5am without a feed so in a few weeks I will tackle that one too!

My elder DS self-weaned at around 2.9 years but rarely woke unless he was ill or scared. It was so handy to be able to feed him when he was ill. I remember a few all-nighters where I fed and fed and fed a poorly DS1 and I strongly suspect he was bf back to health! Magical stuff.

I'm still bfing DS age 2.6 . He has some at night (when I put him to bed and not DH) always in the morning, and when he needs a nap in the day and we're at home.

He knows he is only allowed it in bed and nowhere else these days.

I think we may be coming to the end of the line now as he keeps telling me 'there's no milk in it Mummy'

Sorry - realised I just went on about myself and offered no advice.

Do you co-sleep?

We did until DS was 2 so when he woke up I bf'd him nback to sleep. He woke at 3am every night for about a year so I was used to it - although I barely woke and it didn't affect me too much.

Dawnybabe - ermm that was not a helpful post. There is no "rod" or "back" in regards to responding to your child's needs - this isn't a child demanding a new toy!

I am still just about feeding DS (2.6), he had a feed on Saturday morning and he has had a feed this morning, so I think he is weaning off now.

Shalaa - I have been employing never offer, never refuse with DS since he was 2. He also fed during the night until he was roughly the same age as your DD, so I do understand how exhausting it is. How I approached it was pretty gently, I also got my DH to try and settle him as well. when he was ready to stop the night feed he didn't protest much when I said "no milk now, milk in morning". I also used distraction during the day time as well to cut out his daytime feeds.
Do you have a partner who can take over the night time duties? or at least offer you some support?

You could try telling her that the milkies have gone to sleep and they will wake up in the morning when she can have a feed. Obviously tell her this BEFORE she goes to bed and give her water if she wakes up.

You could play it up that the 'milkies' are ever so tired at night now and need to have some sleep to make more milk for the morning.

It may be that they go to sleep at mummy's bedtime not DD's so if she wakes up in the evening she still gets to feed but not at 3am

DD1&2 have anyway up cups in bed with them with water in as they don't leak and it saves having to go in to give them water but you might want to work up to that .

By the way I'm nursing my 32 m/o DD2 and my 9 m/o DD3. DD1 nursed to 3.6 y/o - she was night weaned at 12 m/o using the Daddy & water method and DD2 self night weaned at 16 m/o but I was pg with DD3 at the time so that helped. Not that I recommend getting pg to aid nightweaning of course .

my ds self weaned at 34 months and we had gradually cut down his feeds so we got to the point of he was just taking it before bed!! he is now 4.6 years and gets a glazed look on his face if he sees my boobs!!!

he is like a milk vampire!!

I weaned ds several months ago, at 28 months. I wanted to let him self wean, but i became more sensitive when pregnant again, and like yourself i was feeding every 3-4 hours and through the night (for me,the lack of sleep over two years was affecting my mental health.)
I explained to Ds that feeding was becoming painful and we may have to stop soon. He understood and seemed quite sad about it. After a couple of weeks i put lemon juice on my nipples in the morning, and he rejected the feed. He tried two more times and rejected it each time.
After that, he was fine and said he didn't want to feed any more. Lots of praise his way, letting him know he'd grown up a little bit more, but he could always have mummy cuddles etc...
It took a while for both of us to get used to not having to wake up at night. He moved to his own bed a month ago (we were co-sleeping) And now i'm sleeping through also (bliss!) He still falls asleep in my bed, but he knows he'll be transferred to his own bed once asleep, and wakes up in his own room.

Shalaa, disregard the negative comments, totally unhelpful. You are doing a great job but if you want to stop nightfeeds, that's OK.

If you have a DP who can take over, then build up to it slowly, spend lots of time explaining that DP will look after her on x night, not mummy. If you are feeling brave, you could even plan a night away and spend some time explaining that you have to be away tonight but will be back in the morning. Make sure she gets lots of attention and bfs before bedtime, but then your DP needs to take over and offer water in the night. It may be worth him offering snacks too, eg a banana, if she is hungry.

We did this when I went had to start travelling overnight for work. He had a couple of days where he woke at 4am and refused to go back to bed but wasn't really upset because he was old enough to understand that I had gone away and would be back tomorrow. Now, he pretty much sleeps through at 21 months or just asks for water when he wakes.

Good luck!

Truthsleep - yes I do similar, told him that milkies have gone away and that there are only peas in my boobies until bedtime (he doesn't like peas!).
I found that worked too.
Feel a little sad he is weaning but at the same time I am glad he is doing it naturally!

BouncingTurtle - I was a bit sad when DD1 weaned but DH cried! Big softie that he is . Luckily it was self weaning but as I was 8 month pg with DD3/nursing DD2 as well I was not too bereft.

Hello and thanks for all the helpful comments

DP takes forever to wake up and is very grummpy and impatient so weaning DD at night will be down to me.
Tried just cuddling and patting her back last night when she woke up but she just screamed herself fully awake and it took an hour for her to go back to sleep. She then woke up again a few hours later and I just fed her in our bed till we dozed off.
Wouldn't mind so much the co-sleeping but she can be restless and wants to stay attached the whole time she's next to me! Will try some of the tips offered here and read the link, something has to work!!

(nice to see other mums doing extended breastfeeding, it's a pretty exclusive club!

LOL @ your soppy DH, Truthsweet!

Good luck. I don't think that's a bad start really. For the first few nights, my dd2 screamed for 2 hours solid. It was grim, but we got there and although actually she still doesn't sleep through (probably not helped by co-sleeping), her sleep is vastly improved.

He was all wiffly because our first baby had left the last of her babyness behind - not that bfing is babyish - but it was the last thing left of baby/toddlerhood she did (was toilet trained, went to playschool, didn't use a pushchair, etc) she was a BIG girl as of then. He was very .

I'm reading this with interest. My DS is 26 months too and still waking through the night for milk. However, I want to conceive DC2 and not happening (cycles have returned but suspect may not be ovulating). So great to hear some stories of successful night weaning.

And it is lovely to hear from other mums in same boat - get no sympathy from most people as they tend to label you a freak "What STILL breastfeeding"?

saucetastic may have to try the lemon juice idea!

DS has now stopped - have not bfed him since Thursday he was 2 years, and 1 month and 2 days old when he had his last feed. I think he had gotten to the point where it was there but he was not that bothered, we had had a few other things going on which meant we didn't do the usual bed time feed.